The Weighting Room Podcast
The Weighting Room Podcast
Fat Girl Therapy 31: Tales, Tipples, and Toning Up: A Candid Conversation
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Have you ever wondered how to balance your love for horror movies, festive holiday drinks, and the struggle to stay fit? Well, my friend, you've landed in the right spot! We start off our conversation with some spine-chilling experiences from watching 'The Conjuring' and how we quenched our fears with Starbucks' eggnog lattes and McDonald's peppermint mocha. We don't just stop at terrifying stories and tempting drinks; we also dive headfirst into our takeout habits and prep ourselves for an upcoming meeting with a fitness coach.
Oh, and speaking of fitness, how about we uncover the challenges of maintaining diet and exercise amidst our busy lives? We promise to take you through the perils and perks of using Instacart for grocery shopping, and how it fits into our fitness goals. But hey, it's not all serious talk. We laugh, we share, and yes, we also drift into the intriguing concept of family value meals. We explore Flash Food app, where you can find discounted food that's about to expire, making meal planning fun and affordable.
We also have a special segment where we share personal updates. We talk about Harper's recent encounter with RSV and pneumonia, her road to recovery, and the adorable way she surprises us with her communication skills. We don't shy away from discussing our fears, struggles, and potential solutions, especially when it comes to fitness and even the heavy stuff like fear of death. So, brace yourself for some candid, hilarious, and, at times, heartwrenching conversations. And remember, no judgement here, just real talk. Our struggles, our stories, and our small wins - we share it all. So come on over, grab a cup of your favorite holiday drink and join us in this rollercoaster ride of food, fun, and fright.
Do you have a story you would like to share? Send it to us at theweightingroompc@gmail.com
Disclaimer: We are not Medical professionals and all views and opinions are our own.
Watching Scary Movies and Holiday Drinks
Speaker 1I'm in a weird mood right now , like so not podcast ready , what ?
Speaker 2mood is it .
Speaker 1Rams and I are watching the Conjuring right now , and I said that I would never watch the Conjuring again . I watched it in 2014 . I remember it was traumatic . And then , what were we watching yesterday ? The devil inside Rams . Hey , damn it , his headphones in wait , I'm gonna throw something at him . Hi , what did we watch yesterday ? The devil inside the devil on trial . The devil on trial . Can you grab my hand ?
Speaker 2The devil inside definitely sounds like a porno . Yeah , Just saying I'm like all right , this podcast is personal , but we just got real personal .
Speaker 1Yeah , sorry , I was like trying to hear what you're saying . But , rams , you talk so loud when you you still have your headphones in You're so loud .
Speaker 2You're so loud , okay , you're vibrate now so cute , though , like you're sweater and your hair and your mug , you're just like 10 out of 10 .
Speaker 1On the pre-winter aesthetic , I'm very in comfort mode too . Yeah , I can tell so . Anyway , the Conjuring is Ridiculous and like Rams , even like reached over from your one point and , like you know , you just got to be like . This is like you know . I'm like I had my first contact with you . I'm like I don't know what's going on with you . Guys , Do not touch me , and if you want to touch me , you must get my consent first .
Speaker 2Like you had any . At one point he was like , came about to touch you .
Speaker 1And like he touched me right after saying , and I'm like too soon , I'm like you have to wait for acknowledgement , warning and acceptance is what we needed in this mode scared and it's kind of funny that we are watching it , because we watched what was that haunting of Hill House and I slept on the couch for two years . Fair enough , fair enough , I get very scared with these . We have mirrors in our bedroom and it's just . It's a whole thing . Don't judge me .
Speaker 2Yeah , no , no judgment here . No judgment here . There's a reason I just don't watch those movies .
Speaker 1Yeah , and I don't know why . Like well , I do know , because Rams is like oh , this is based on a true story , and I'm like , yeah , and then the conjuring . And he didn't . He didn't know who Ed and Lorraine Warren were , so right , which , I'm assuming you might not know who they are either . Correct , pretty much the people that owned Annabelle . Okay , yeah .
Speaker 2Anyways , I couldn't decide if I wanted to drink egg nog or wine .
Speaker 1I do ?
Speaker 2Do they have that at Costco they ?
Speaker 1do Great Rams when we go to Costco tomorrow .
Speaker 2Egg nog , I got egg nog so I can make egg nog lattes . I made one on Friday . It was meth because , honestly , like the trails , milk products are usually so good but their egg nog is just meh . It's okay , so my lattes are just meh . I'm drinking it because I have it kind of thing , but like cinnamon egg nog lattes so good and Starbucks doesn't have egg nog anymore .
Speaker 1Yeah , what's up with that Like why ? Why is the one drink I liked ?
Speaker 2I know they stopped it before COVID and now .
Speaker 1I used to get a triple grande egg nog latte with a pump of gingerbread and it was perfect .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Speaking of holiday drinks , I'm sure you heard , you might have seen it , but you know what ? You're not really on TikTok much anymore , which we'll get to . Okay , you , not you , holiday drinks . I went to McDonald's and I was like , oh my god , pepper membo guy , you know what , I'm here , let's get one . They forgot the mocha , so it was mint water , and then I go get a Starbucks drink and I try and like I'm like , yay , less pumps of gingerbread , let's be less sugar . And then I was like regret , instant regret , yeah .
Speaker 1It just tasted like a regular latte . That wasn't fun .
Speaker 2Yeah . Yeah , I know what you mean . I have a problem right now . I don't think I really plan on fixing it , though , to be honest , because there was a promotion that was happening on my Starbucks app and it was like if you buy seven lattes , we'll give you 83 points , and you bet your keyster . I did buy all seven lattes . Not one sitting , obviously , but I did get all seven lattes , so I tried all of their holiday lattes and yeah , you know what ? The new gingerbread oat chai latte is good .
Speaker 1Oh , I want to try that , but you know , there's literally a Starbucks one block for me and yesterday and today I'm like I refuse to leave my home . Yeah .
Speaker 2But you know what I have ? Like I leave my house , I got Starbucks . Like it's back to that bad of a problem . When I was on Mat Leave , I was doing so well without Starbucks , like I was going months without it . And now I leave my house and it's like , well , if I'm out of my , I'll get Starbucks . I'll leave my house to get Starbucks .
Speaker 1It's that bad . Yeah , speaking of takeout , I am , so I'm gonna , I'm gonna . I'm pretty disappointed in myself right now , because I knew you should be . I don't know why I'm just , as the weekend was approaching , I'm like I have a feeling like this I already knew that I was gonna be getting takeout this weekend , just because like I could feel it . So , essentially coming this Tuesday , so in two days from now , I'm having a meeting with a fitness coach person . So , like in my head , I'm like , okay , so it's all we're gonna change as of that day . So I'm gonna eat what I want right now . And I don't know why I did that , because I knew I knew that was gonna happen , because that's what I do when I have a plan of , even though I'm already doing it , you know .
Speaker 1it's like all it is is about living a healthier life and making the right choices and forgiving yourself if you make ones that are going against your plan . You know but it's like I just went yeah , I'm gonna get all the food that I haven't had in a while .
Speaker 1So , anyway , yesterday we had burger can and went and got um , went and got baked lasagnas , which is really funny to say that out loud when everyone knows how much I hate pasta . But if I want pasta it's gonna be either a baked lasagna or a genie alfredo , and I'm like , yeah , I want that melty cheese .
Speaker 2Actually my brain went to isn't all lasagna baked ? What do you mean ? Like like lasagna is a big lasagna .
Speaker 1I don't know , but that's just what it's called . It's just baked lasagna , Like . That's what it's called . It's like on the menu . It's baked lasagna , like from a specific place .
Reevaluating Fitness Goals and Priorities
Speaker 1I think that normally , well , some places might just say lasagna , but it says baked lasagna , but all lasagna is baked . I get that , but that's the name of it . I'm going to look it up now because it's bothering me . What's the name of the place that you ordered from ? I can't even see you anymore , except just been like no , that's fine it was just like .
Speaker 2I know everybody's thinking this . I'm like I don't know what everybody else , but I'm thinking that all lasagna is baked and therefore you don't need to say that it's baked .
Speaker 1What's the name of the place you went to , Mr Pan ?
Speaker 2Like , if it's baked spaghetti , that makes sense , because you don't always bake spaghetti .
Speaker 1Yeah , no , I totally get what you mean now , and that's why I'm like I have to look this up , because I'm like am I just calling it baked lasagna and no ?
Speaker 2one else .
Speaker 1Yeah , but even the pasta deal is two extra large baked meat lasagnas . That's baked , maybe because , like you can make you know a no , a one pot . What are those ?
Speaker 2You're trying to twist it . No , you know wrong . Have you seen those Instapot lasagnas where it's just like yes but that's correct because it's not usually Instapot , so Instapot lasagna or soup lasagna or something that is not a baked no , they're full menu , just to double check , because it's bothering me now , at least you know it's not you , it's the place .
Speaker 1They're wrong . I'm not the problem . See , they have so much stuff here . They actually have a lot of like butter chicken , chicken , tika masala and , yeah , they're delicious too . Mr Pan's butter chicken pizza is so good , not that I can have it anymore . Even yesterday I was like Rams , all I want is pizza . And he looked at me like really , and I'm like , no , like I want it , but my body doesn't want it . So I'm like , don't , let me have it , but just bothers me that that's all I want . So I think that's why we got baked lasagna , because I want the multi cheese .
Speaker 2Have you had ? I don't know , but you don't like pasta . I was going to say , whenever I want pizza , I've been having dominoes pasta ?
Speaker 1Yeah , cause it just tastes like . I don't like dominoes pasta .
Speaker 2That's fair , but I think they're not big on pasta in general .
Speaker 1Yeah , but I've already talked about it before . I am very quickly realizing that I've been saying no to pasta for so long because I'm just , I'm like , I'm like , I'm just like I'm not going to be able to .
Speaker 2Just they say it on the way I've made pasta and then I'm realizing how much great past I missed out on , cause it's like , wow , that's what that's supposed to taste like , not my crap Shit . So , anyways , back on track . I think a lot of people have done that , though , where they're just like the diet starts Monday .
Speaker 1So then they can do whatever they want for the weekend , kind of thing . And like they're like yeah , that's what I'm going to do , cause it's like the best thing to do is like I am just like , wait , what I'm like I'm just going to make sure that I don't get a salary intake , but it's just that I didn't want to get take out for one , like spending the useless money . And then it's just not making the choices that I would have made had I just made the food at home . But whatever , it is what it is , like there's nothing I can do about that , but I just have to be mindful of it . And like I just hate the fact that I knew that that was going to happen and I was trying so hard to be ?
Speaker 1like what I meant about , like coming back to the TikTok thing . Did you want to talk about what you were talking about ? That one day to me .
Speaker 2Yeah , I mean I'm still in . So I messaged Chris and actually I also messaged Corey and Caitlin and I was like I just don't feel like my username of that and fit mom fits anymore . You know , like that's just , it's not who I am . Quite honestly , I have changed my username a couple of times . The first username I had back when I was only on Instagram was Fat2FitLisa , and then afterwards I was like , well , I just want to work out . Like I don't really want to focus on like weight loss , I just want to like work out and feel good . And that's when I changed my name to Fat and FitLisa . And then I had another mindset later where it went to Fat and Fit Mom after I had Harper . And now it's just like I'm just not in that place anymore .
Speaker 2Before having Harper it was like I was going to the gym . I liked going to the gym , I liked getting like building my body . You know what I mean . But now it's like I don't . The gym isn't really a priority on my list anymore . Sometimes I miss it , but like at the same time it's like I have so much other stuff going on , I just I don't have the time to go to the gym , and I know like it's so easy for people to say , like well , make time , you know , sort out your priorities , blah , blah , blah .
Speaker 2But I was thinking about this the other day when it came to like let's talk about grocery shopping . You know what I mean . Like I don't , I just there is no time in the day to go grocery shopping . So the last couple of grocery trips I've used Instacart , and I hate using Instacart because it's so it's way more expensive . But it's like something has to give somewhere . No matter , whenever you are making a choice on something , something has to give , right . So , like in this case , I have to spend more money to save time . Like , and they know that because as soon as you place your order , they're like , you saved one hour of grocery shopping today , right , like . So something's gotta give there . And it's the same idea as if I'm gonna start going to the gym . I'm gonna have to either give up sleep or give up my mental relaxing at the end of the day with my hour of video games or this or this or this . Like something has to come out of my day to then go to the gym . You know what I mean . So , for example , like right now , I'm like I'm not gonna be able to go in the mornings because at that point I have to go at like three in the morning and then come home and so I'm giving up sleep versus I could go at eight o'clock at night after Harper's in bed , okay , but now I'm losing my wind down time Like you know what I mean Like there's something's gotta give . I know I've said that like a hundred times in this conversation now .
Speaker 2So it's so easy for people to say , well , you just have to sort out your priorities , or oh , you just have to make time for yourself , because it's not that easy when you are busy 24 seven . But I think a lot of people say that too , because some people see it as like the old mentality of fat people , of like you're just lazy , you know what I mean . Like they think , oh , you just have to get off the couch . You know what I mean . It's like there's so much more to that . So fitness isn't really a priority on my list right now .
Speaker 2And I really started thinking about it because I was like I know I am not fat and fit Lisa , I'm not fat and fit mom anymore . That's not who I am . And then I was like well then , who the fuck are you Like ? What are your goals ? What is it you want to do ?
Speaker 2I remember when I wrote for my goals for the start of this year and we're gonna find out in like two weeks , so but I have no idea what my goals were at the start of this year and right now I think about it and I just really want to have a healthy lifestyle for Harper . That's what I want . I don't want toxic food for Harper . I don't want and I don't mean like buying fast food all the time or blah , blah , blah Like when I say toxic food I mean toxic habits .
Speaker 2Physical activity I still want as a thing , but it's not necessarily going to the gym and like getting muscular and all that stuff . Like I just want there to be physical activity that Harper can see me doing , kind of thing I don't know . So she's still the goal here . I feel like I don't know , like yes , I'm doing it for me , but I'm more doing it for her , if that makes sense . So I'm going to have a new username . I don't know what it's going to be yet , but it's gonna be around health and family , not just me as a losing weight and getting fit person , because that's not really who I am anymore .
Speaker 1So you're muted , yeah , okay . So I just realized then , that that entire that's just me talking . Every time I was like saying yeah , you guys didn't hear it . I was muting because there's these drunk guys outside that were making a lot of noise .
Speaker 2So I was like I don't wanna hear that . I noticed you did say anything . I'm like I feel like I'm just going on a tangent now .
Speaker 1I am so sorry , I'm just Christmas at a party that sounds like I don't care about what you're saying , and I wanted to use that as a clip too , so you wouldn't even hear my laugh . Yeah , I'm sorry . No , it's me , I'm the problem . Whatever , what do you want your content to be then ? Like , where do you see your content going ? I have no idea .
Speaker 2That's my biggest . I'm not gonna show Harper's face . That is still a thing that I am not going to do , just to get that out there Like at first I was like , oh , your thing could be like Harper's mom .
Speaker 1And then I was like , or like something . But then I was like , no , you should like leave Harper out of it because , like , she's not even part of it . Well , you know what I mean , I know .
Speaker 2I am thinking , I don't know . I kind of wanna make it more family based , not just me based . So it's like this is the activity we did as a family . This is the meal that we had as a family Like , not just because a lot so much . If you look at meal prep and whatnot on like meal prep for health and meal prep for this and whatnot on TikTok it's always one person by themselves . These are the meals that they bought for that week . This is how I'm sticking to my plan . That's great . My child is not going to eat that Like and I that one meal that you're making for the week . Absolutely you could do . I need to do that for three people .
Speaker 1So that's kind of where I'm gearing towards , where it's healthy family meals , healthy family meal prep , health that's totally where I see your content going Like in my head the whole time , like even when you so to everyone other . Like Lisa texted me like I'm thinking about changing this and I immediately asked her do you wanna talk about that now or do you wanna talk about it on the podcast ?
Speaker 1So I didn't even know the whole story yet , and that's why I'm really mad that I was also muted . But so , like , even since then , I was thinking like I can see your content being mostly like healthy meal focused , because that's what you can control . Like you can't control the amount of time that you have in a day right now , like , cause you never know what's going on with Harper or your husband or your family , or like moving or anything , or hospitals oh my God , I know , keep going here . So you can't control that . But you can control your food as much as you can , cause you know some days are unpredictable . Something might happen . You have to eat that in coffees , cause if any of you ever get to meet Lisa in person , ask her to make you a coffee and it's really good . So that's where I can always see it going .
Speaker 1That's so funny . Healthy eats with Lisa . Let's not say them out loud until you pick .
Discussion on Family Value Meals
Speaker 2Or like yeah , or it's funny , I was just thinking about cause you got like family values and then you got the value menu . So what about family value menu or family values menu ?
Speaker 1Ooh bitch , I like that you should check to see if that's available before we post this episode .
Speaker 2I'm looking right now .
Speaker 1You could make this a clip , but I'll put it on my flip side , the introduction of oh cause you could also add , if you wanted to like , value whatever with Lisa , if it fits Family values meal Value , menu no menu Value .
Speaker 2Is it meals or menu ?
Speaker 1I'm ordering off the value menu , so maybe it's family , so maybe it should be menu . But see , it's the value menu but then like the McChicken no sorry , the junior chicken , and then- .
Speaker 2Oh yeah , that's value meals .
Speaker 1Value meals .
Speaker 2Family value menu . I think you're right , because family values is family values . But when you do family value menu , it gives you that pun of value meals Family value meals Are you gonna be ?
Speaker 1making your thing as value meals though , like you know , like that , are not on the expensive way , not expensive and healthy . Bitch , I'm broke . Okay , cool , that will be my way of life , no matter what my name is . I don't know if you have it , but you could also like show shopping off the Flash Food app , because you have more out there than we do . Oh wait , is it even available there ? Oh shit , fuck .
Speaker 2I have no idea what that is . I hate these headphones . I don't know what that is .
Speaker 1Oh , it's just like stuff that's like expiring within , like the next , like sometimes it's even the next day , but like the next few days .
Speaker 2Oh , yes , I had heard of that . Sorry , just one sec . Okay , what were we saying ? Oh , we were talking about family value meal .
Speaker 1Yeah , I've said it so many times it doesn't make sense anymore .
Speaker 2That's the one that came out . I think that's the one family value meal .
Speaker 1If it's menu , it's menu . If it's meal , it's meals . So you're not just making one meal , family value meals , whatever it's just no value . They both sound good , no values . Yeah , that's what I said , men .
Speaker 2I'm like it's not what you said . Play it back Anyways .
Speaker 1So long story short you have to pick it , though , before we post this episode .
Speaker 2Oh right , we're gonna take it Family value meals . I'm not doing it for discounted meals , it's family values and meal planning .
Speaker 1Yeah , meal Like . Do you think you'll even go back to meal prepping ?
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1I have to , yeah , I have to . I definitely do .
Speaker 2It's just a matter of , as I said , it's not . When you look at meal prepping for health food , it's always one person prepping for themselves for the week . So that's where we're at Nice .
Speaker 1That should be exciting . I know like my focus kind of shifted in the last year or so . I used to just only post mostly health stuff and I'm like , ah , that's not the only thing I wanna talk about , cause that's boring . It is and I mean saying that as I'm talking on a podcast called the Waiting Room . This is where I feel like we can talk about anything and everything , and I feel more comfortable talking about it here on the podcast when it comes to the health stuff , because for one people are here for that Two . In that same way , not two TikToks can go to anyone , and then you never know what kind of information or hate or suggestions or anything that you're gonna get and I feel like we've made a like-minded community on the podcast and I don't know .
Speaker 1It's also like we can give more context to things . It's really hard to do that in a short video . Yeah .
Speaker 2And it's so easy for people to just be offended by one thing that you said yeah , yeah , but you don't mean to yeah .
Speaker 1It's the same way of slipping up , saying , like the word healthy regarding food , we all do it . A lot of people still do it and it's like I'm not trying to de you're not trying to demonize food and most people like get us at this point , get it .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1It's just , you know . It's just using the wrong words , instead of like being more nutrient , dense or whatever . It's just , it's a habit . I mean , I'm almost 40 . I've been saying it for a long time , you know what ?
Speaker 2I saw a video today on Facebook that was , that said you are never too late to start your TV show . Oh , my God , I saw the same one .
Speaker 1Isn't that fantastic . Yes , and he kept referencing friends and stuff .
Speaker 2I was like oh , my God yes .
Speaker 1Because I do that sometimes where I go , wait a minute Like age really Like , what's the point ?
Speaker 2I'm almost 30 . Like , like you get in that mindset where , especially like when it comes to weight loss stuff , right , like you're kind of just like , what's the point ? I'm almost 30 . My life is almost over . Like , why should I eat healthy right now ? Yolo , I'm going to eat this baked lasagna , but at the same time , I'm not attacking your lasagna , I'm attacking baked lasagna , just to verify . But he's saying how , like for those who haven't seen it , he's saying how , like friends were 27 when they started and then all of this other crazy stuff happened afterwards Golden Girls , 55, . Homer Simpson , 35 . Like your TV show can happen at any age .
Speaker 2You don't have to be in the young digressy mindset .
Speaker 1Yeah , I also love that he said that I'm like Canadian . Yeah , he's actually not . Really , but Americans don't know what digress is .
Speaker 2No , he was on . Do you remember those React ones Like YouTubers React and kids React and teens React on YouTube ? He was one of the kids that grew up into teens React and then there was like actually a big movement because , like they treated somebody poorly and a whole bunch of them quit and he was one of the people who quit .
Speaker 1Hmm , that's cool . I mean not cool , but cool yeah .
Speaker 2Sucks that it happened . Cool that they stood up for it .
Speaker 1Did
Updates on Harper and Personal Reflections
Speaker 1you ? Did you ? I don't know if you already made a TikTok , but did you tell everyone , like the like , why we weren't recording last week , like about everything with Harper ?
Speaker 2Yeah , remember , I told TikTok before I told you oh yeah , I forgot about that . I'm like oh yeah , yes , yeah , cause I was sitting there at the hospital . I'm like I'm just giving an update because I feel like I should say something .
Speaker 1Yeah , but everything's good and back to normal now .
Speaker 2Yeah , she had RSV that developed into pneumonia , so it was . She was just her body was just so tired , so she just needed a little bit of help and yeah , everything's good , everything's back to normal .
Speaker 1She looked like she was in good spirits , like those photos , they were so cute . Oh yeah , she's so much better now she looks so big Like I used to think she was growing so fast .
Speaker 2She is massive and she talks so much . Really , oh yeah , she is like the words that she is like she's copying everything that we're saying , like the the point of her talking right now easily is like two and a half three years old . Like she should not be talking the amount that she is talking , but she is . So it's just . Yeah , we really have to be careful with what we say because she tries to copy everything that we say . Dad was watching hockey the other night and he's like , oh , what a save . And she's just like , oh , what's up ? Oh , my God . And now , because we were teaching her that when we watch the Leafs , she goes whew whenever they score right . So she'll be sitting there and eating a snack or whatever and dad will change the channel and it does not matter what sport it is or what teams are playing , she just turns and goes whew . As soon as sports hits the TV , she just cheers for everybody .
Speaker 1Now I love it . Oh my God , it's so cute . What about ?
Speaker 2you Sorry , every time I get like you didn't even hear that , sorry .
Speaker 1every time I talk about how cute your kid is , I have to tell myself I still don't want one . I don't play me .
Speaker 2Okay , so you have an appointment on Tuesday .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2How are you ?
Speaker 1feeling . I feel like I was so like ready . You know like where I was , like yeah , like I've told him like I need this help and I'm just like dude , dude , dude you know like that mode where , but I still want it . I just feel like I don't know . I don't know , I don't really know what to feel . What happened ?
Speaker 2Like I feel like you and I were on such a great like did it , did it , did it . And then it's like you and I saw each other and we were like like I don't know about you , but that's like . I've been struggling around since then , like is just since when , when you and I hung out back , oh , yeah , sorry , I thought you meant the first time . I was like this year , this year .
Speaker 1Yeah , well , honestly for me , I haven't been the same since I started getting all my injuries and I keep faking it like that , faking it till you make it type thing , where it's like in my head I'm like , yeah , I'm good , and then I like fall back , whereas like before , like what I mean by that is like I still feel like I'm going home , but before I didn't have so many fallback moments , and then like I feel like that's getting to me and it's almost like I need my reason why again . But I already have a reason why .
Speaker 2Right .
Speaker 1And then I also feel like I'm depressed because I feel like bariatric surgery is the only way out at this point and the way I worded that was so wrong , because it's like I don't want to weigh like out of this body , Like I hope that no one out there thinks that that's what I'm saying .
Speaker 1It's like I want the pressure off my knees , you know , like I want specific things to go away and I don't know , I don't know . I just keep getting really depressed about it . It's like everyone knows like I have the cutest dresses I'd like to dress up . I don't hide like I love who I am . I just have a lot of fucking health issues .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1And I'm just sick of it and I don't want to keep thinking that bariatric surgery is the only way out and I feel like if I get the help that I need from this person and have some guidance , that maybe it's what I need . I've always like stepped away from trying to get guidance from someone because , also , I don't want someone telling me what to do . But you know what I can't say . I've tried everything . If I , if I'm not accepting of it same way that I treated my mental health . I never wanted to talk to anyone about it anymore and now I am . You know , it's just like finding the right people for you .
Speaker 1And I feel that this person is the right person for us , and you all know who this person is . I'm just not talking about it right now , but yeah , I don't know , we'll see . We'll see what happens . I also have a counseling appointment tomorrow and I was so like every time I have one , I keep um . I keep getting really depressed after .
Speaker 2And like .
Speaker 1I just don't want that .
Speaker 2You need a therapy session for your therapy session . Just pretty much .
Speaker 1I keep thinking about death a lot . Okay , so this is kind of weird because I've never really talked to anyone about this on here . I haven't talked to us , I haven't talked about this on here . I just think about death a lot and like I think about me dying , I think about everyone around me dying , I think about what would happen if I , like at their funeral , I think about everything that would happen and it's almost like I'm preparing my brain for if that happened , right , and I'm just like a defense mechanism or something .
Speaker 1But it's like I'm really tired of that and it's like kind of just been brought on because I've opened up talking about my brother again and it's just like too much and I just I really hate it because it'll happen at the weirdest times . Like I wanted to sign on live the other day and then all of a sudden I went into this like dream , like state state , thinking about like death , and then I was like I'm crying uncontrollably , I'm not going on live now , you know , and yeah , it is really weird . I don't know why that keeps happening , but I wish it would stop .
Speaker 2I have a thing where it's I'm really uncomfortable in places that are really out of my norm or like I've never been before . Even if it's like a new rope to somewhere , like if I all of a sudden hit construction and I have to go somewhere else , I have major anxiety Because I have to analyze every little piece of that situation to see how I could die in that situation .
Speaker 1We're all just a little bit quirky , aren't we ?
Speaker 2Yeah , that might be the word .
Speaker 1Might be , oh , it's getting heavy . It's getting heavy in here . Yeah , no pun intended , Ah ha ha , I even went like this oh , my God .
Speaker 2Anyways , do you have goals for this week ? I feel like you have a lot going on this week .
Speaker 1So I would like one goal of an . By the way , every time on here that I said I'm going swimming , I've not gone swimming .
Speaker 2So and I'm not . These goals mean nothing .
Speaker 1Yeah , the . I either want to go specifically on a walk in a park that I'm thinking of right now . Obviously I'm not going to say it out loud , I'm not going to go to a gym or for a swim . So I'm giving myself two options . I just want to do one day where I go and do that and just get out of my comfort zone and , like , do it before work too . It actually has to be on one of my work days , because I just want to tell myself that you are capable of getting out of the house before work . It doesn't just have to be sleep and work , sleep and work , because then , even when I'm off by Friday , I stay up until like six in the morning , and Saturday is almost like a write off for me because I'm so out of it and tired . But then Sunday ended up being that way too , because then I fed off Rams I'm not blaming , you know , he has his headphones in , okay .
Speaker 1I'm not blaming you , but he was so busy with schoolwork yesterday that then he's like I just want a lazy day today and I'm like , and instead of just doing going doing my own thing , I was like , yeah , lazy day , we can just have a movie . I'm just going to move on and that's good , because you know what , that's good for my soul and that's good for us and our relationship just hanging out together . So there is good . I just you know I'm hearing what I'm saying .
Speaker 1Sorry , it's like I'm beating myself up because I think that I need to be a productive member of society by getting out into the open air . And it's just like you know what , if I needed that , then I would have done that and like maybe I needed this more and I prioritize that . So it's like I have to stop thinking that . It's just like my physical health that always matters and like this was actually really good for my mental health today . Like us just hanging out because Rams and I do not see each other on my work days . He works and before he's home I'm off to work and then I go into bed and then he gets up and I'm sleeping . So we don't see each other at all . Anyway , I , but then I think of the other way and it's like , okay , but then , like you're always using these things as excuses to not getting out there and like and I and moving your body , and if I wanted to , I would see .
Speaker 1that's the issue is that it's like I could even do exercises at home , but I don't want to .
Speaker 2I have to find my reason to say , because this is the exact same thing that I was talking about at the beginning .
Speaker 1What I keep thinking about is us in 2020 . And like we were doing things like you didn't have to go to , that was like for fucking ago .
Speaker 2And I remember like 2020 , I'm like why are we talking about that ? That was so long ago . And then I was like shut up we . That was like COVID times , when we started shit .
Speaker 1Yeah . Oh , my God like just aged me a lot . You might have not been , I don't know about the gym and stuff , but you were doing a lot of that . We fit or whatever at home . And it's like it ring fit yeah and like . Remember Jordan and everyone like and like we were in lives while you were doing it . Oh my God .
Speaker 1Meal prep on Sundays and it's like you and I were thriving back then . So it's like , okay , obviously a lot has changed since then . We can't do everything that way , but when I was even thinking about you changing your content , it's like you could do your ring fit , especially that you will have a little bit more room when you move . And that's showing Harper , like you're literally doing in front of Harper's face , and then she might want to get up and do those things too . So it's like , yeah , there's no might , but like , get up and do ring fit , so I could get up and do sweating to the oldies again . You know what it's like . I'm not saying I'm going to do that , I'm just saying I could get back to meal .
The Challenge of Meal Prepping
Speaker 1Yeah , meal prep on Sundays , because those that worked for us . And then all of a sudden we're just like we have too much going on , we can't do it . But it's like back then and I get , covid was totally different times but no one , not no one there were a lot of other people that were putting on the coven 10 or whatever , because like they weren't prioritized . But we were like , no , we don't want to go more because that's gonna , that's what the avenue . I would have gone down , especially because I was injured at the time and it's like no , we're going to meal prep . We're going to like stick to these things and somehow along the way we didn't , whereas like a meal prep on a Sunday would make things so much easier for us . You don't have to do all that crap during the week . Then we're actively working against ourselves right now . We're like how much harder can we do this for ourselves ? Oh , a two hour meal perfect . I'd rather do a two hour meal than a one hour meal and spend the other hour walking . You know what I mean . It's like we're just not it doesn't have to be that different .
Speaker 1During COVID , you still worked . You did not have a child , though , and that is a really big thing . So I'm not going to say this about you , because I can't understand how you do it , but so for me , not much has changed , except I am at work now , but that actually gives me routine being at work , and like I have a gym at work and I have enough like time before or after work to be able to go to the gym . So it's like you know what I mean , and it's like I'm not prioritizing these things anymore . I don't know why . I have to find out my why . I have to figure out why I'm not doing this . It's like .
Speaker 1It's like you know what quit smoking . You know , I quit smoking because my doctor told me when I tore my ACL it wasn't going to heal as fast if I kept smoking . And I kept smoking and then I was like June 6 , 2020 , I'm like I'm going to quit smoking . June 7 in the morning broke my wrist and I went . That's why I'm not going to pick up a cigarette today . Well , also because I was in the hospital , but that's why I wasn't picking up a cigarette , because I wanted my wrist to heal faster .
Speaker 1So that was my why and I still am not a smoker , except one day I did call Lisa because I was stressed out about stuff and I went and pack of smokes and I smoked for back to back and then I brought the pack to my one of my coworkers and I gave it to him because I was like , no , I don't want to do this . Yeah , I do remember that that's the only time .
Speaker 2I cheated , you know what . That's so true , though , but the wise , because , like , I started my weight loss journey because I wanted to have a safe and healthy pregnancy , and then I had Harper , and then , after I had Harper , and it was just really struggling with the self love thing , and at that point I was like I felt like I needed to get back on track , like I feel like I've gone in the opposite direction of what I wanted , so that I've been focusing on weight loss and being better and healthier and blah , blah , blah . And then . And then I remember , along the line it was kind of just like I really lost my why , because that major why wasn't there anymore . And at the same time I had that thought to the yesterday and I was just like , well , you need to find a new why . But then my brain went why ? Why do you need a new ? Why ? What's the point in the new ? Why , like you don't you need this , but why do you need a new why ?
Speaker 1you know what I mean , and at the same time my brain .
Speaker 2Like I've said this a couple times now , I'm just . I'm struggling with the self love in general and like I don't hate myself , but like when I look in the mirror it's not like I don't feel like I did Two years ago .
Speaker 2You know what I mean and it's it sucks to say so much because , like two years ago , I looked in the mirror and it was just like , damn , you look good , like I loved how I look . Even after I had Harper , I put on that like green dress and I loved that green dress . I was just like , yeah , you look good and I loved myself and I loved how I looked .
Speaker 2And then just somewhere along the line , my brain just went no you don't anymore and it sucks because , like , I look at Harper and she is beautiful , she's so , so , singing , cute , like this gorgeous baby , and it's just like I hate that something in the world at some point is going to make her feel like she's not , because it's just what the world does . And then I think about me and it's like something made you feel like you're not . You know what I mean . And it's like even me saying that to myself . It's like I can look at myself in the mirror and it's like you are beautiful , but I don't feel it , even though I'm saying to myself I know it's the world that made me feel that way , and I am , but I don't feel it . You know what I mean . So it's like I could sit here and scream in my face you're beautiful , but I don't feel like it . You know what I mean . It just really sucks to hit that kind of back pedal .
Speaker 1So yeah , yeah , and it's like , and honestly , like there's like I want to say so much , but there's like nothing I can really say to change it , because I get it like that , like nothing much like it's . So it's so weird to hear you say that because like nothing's changed , like from the outside perspective from for me , looking at you , like nothing's changed except that you've lost more weight since then , like that's literally the only change that's happened , other than like and maybe that's the thing .
Speaker 2Maybe I just don't recognize myself anymore .
Speaker 1You know what ? You need A photo shoot . You need a fucking photo shoot .
Speaker 2You know what I was literally thinking last weekend I was like I need to go shopping , I need to get a bomb ass outfit and I just need to feel good , yeah , and I just haven't had the time because of the packing and the moving and all that stuff .
Speaker 1But that's totally what you need to do . Ah , okay , hold on a second .
Speaker 2I have no idea what the hell just happened . She just like borderline evil left left . But I will say she has the cutest freaking chair . It's probably just a blanket , but the cover is like , or the blanket cover thing , whatever . It is such a fall vibe . It's orange , like a plaid not buffalo plaid , but that other kind of plaid . It's like orange and red and brown with like a little like cream color . I want it , I love it . I was explaining your blanket .
Speaker 1Oh , there there's something on yeah . It's actually a scarf .
Speaker 2Oh , it's a scarf , it's a massive scarf , yeah .
Speaker 1Okay , you need to get this , cause I put it on and I'm like , yeah , I can't wait for my snag tights to get in . Oh , wow , ooh . So it looks really glittery . It looks weird Like I'm on camera but like and it's a spaghetti strap , but it like crisscrosses in the back and it's like two layers , so it has like tool over it and stuff .
Speaker 2Oh , yeah , yeah .
Speaker 1Okay , so this is what the dress looks like Ooh , but seriously I feel so fucking gorgeous in it and it was like either $15 or $25 .
Speaker 2Oh well , that's not bad . Oh , you know what I've been meaning to tell you when I keep forgetting , but I just saw it today , and now we're talking about it now .
Speaker 1What .
Speaker 2Our mall is getting a tour , oh .
Speaker 1Yeah , wait , which mall ? The mall that we were in . With that that was in like where I got my mug , like the Spencers and stuff . Yes , okay , like when we went to Sephora . Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , cool . I know I'm so excited . I got a dress from . You might have seen , when I was doing my one day trip I got a dress from Tord , $14 ripped it . I'm like fuck .
Speaker 2No , I didn't see that my laugh is totally off right now , and I know because I can't let myself do my actual like deep laugh , otherwise I just coughing spit bit just takes me .
Speaker 1I don't know how you feel about tights , but I just finally ordered like 10 pairs of snag tights . Oh , I'm really excited Cause they're not that . They're not that expensive . What Hold on my neighbors . Did you hear that ?
Speaker 2I heard something about you and your steel toes and trying to be quiet , but that's all I heard .
Speaker 1Yeah , she was just complaining about the stomping and stuff and I'm like we're both literally sitting down right now . And then I was like cause we had a huge problems with the person that you still live down there before and I was like , yeah , we don't have carpet or anything , but I was like just to let you know when you guys walk around we can hear it .
Speaker 1I'm like that's how old this building is . And she was like what ? And I'm like , yeah , like you guys close the door , you do anything , we can hear it . And she was like , oh , I didn't know . And she's like I'll definitely try . And I'm like , oh , no , no , no , don't get me wrong . I'm like we don't expect you to quiet down , like no one lives below you , just because we can hear you . That's just the way it is . That's the building . We don't pay like crazy rent here , so we're fine . But yeah , I just she at least she was really nice of me , cause .
Speaker 1I've been in a car before it was so horrible . But , Rams , you need apartment feet . She's too sweet . Okay , we're not gonna have another situation like the previous .
Speaker 2Yeah , I remember you said that that person was .
Speaker 1It was awful and you know what . It's the landlords fault for putting lemon in here and not leveling it and making it actually good it's . They're just dumb . Anyway , I don't know what we were talking about . I don't remember what we were talking about . I'm very sorry for anyone out there . We'll have some cuts and edits only because a lot of stuff keeps going on and we also definitely are not having a a waiting room on Thursday . Yeah , the name of the fucking podcast .
Speaker 1I'm very flush right now too . I knew I was getting sick , and it's actually increasing as we're going . Oh , that's awful . But you asked me my goals . My goal was the walking or swimming once this week . What are your goals ?
Speaker 2I don't know , honestly , my goals this week didn't really have to do with this . I really have to focus on work , because I missed a lot of work last week or the week before with Harper , so trying to catch up last week and I just I got to finish catching up , I really got to focus , I got to get back on just in track of life . This week is my goal .
Speaker 1Yeah , routine , when do you think that you'll first do like start doing like Neil Prep once you move ?
Speaker 2Neil Prep , probably once I move , because we don't have much routine situation here right now are cooking situate , like a lot of our dishes , and everything is already packed up because we're moving in two , three weeks ish .
Speaker 1It's exciting . Yeah so where did you guys put all your stuff again ? Cause I think I asked you , but I don't think I got the answer . It's in a storage unit . Oh , it is Okay . You guys like pulled ass man , yeah , like to know what your place looked like Like . I mean just , there's a lot of you living there , so there's a lot of stuff .
Speaker 1Yeah , like , yeah , we're not hoarders , no , no , there's a lot of stuff and like I don't want to paint that picture , it's just you know what five people , yeah , and like you guys have , like also , when I think about it , like I don't have a lot of stuff because I purge myself every year , and like I have your books from back in the day , but you know , my mom like has a lot of stuff cause she's had her same place forever , you know , yeah , anyway , yeah , it did make it sound like your order , yeah , so it's like , yeah , we had a lot of stuff .
Speaker 2Our stuff is all packed up and whatnot , though , brandon , I have been sleeping on a pullout couch for a month and we got a couple of weeks left of that , but yeah , excited .
Speaker 1I'm really excited for you . That's going to be a really great and also , just like redecorating new places , it'll just be so much fun yeah .
Speaker 2I am going to , if you can make a quick snippet for me of what was recorded of family value meals and then I can post that on my TikTok when I update my name . I'll wait to update it when that comes over .
Speaker 1I don't even know how to edit it , cause , like we just kept repeating it .
Speaker 2That's good . Yeah , it's going to be five minutes of us just repeating it to figure out the name . What was it going to be ? Family , family value meals Awesome , that is my name .
Speaker 1I actually really do like it Me too . This has been an interesting energy . I don't know . I've never had anyone knock on our door Like that was just very weird timing .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Our energy has depleted .
Speaker 2You have gotten an Amazon delivery , though .
Speaker 1Yeah , that happens a lot .
Speaker 2Have you tried ?
Speaker 1it on , yet I did . I posted it With no bra on and it was great , but like I need this to be like cause , like I'm getting old so they're like pointing so yeah , I'm picking up what you're laying down .
Speaker 2I don't have that problem because I barely have them . You don't have that problem cause you're 10 years younger . No , believe me , age had nothing to do with it . They showed up for about nine months and then it was like , okay , we don't need these .
Speaker 1We're done here .
Speaker 2Yeah , you're going to use formula . No boobies for you , yeah . Anyways , let's yeah , yay , yay .
Speaker 1Bye , have a great one .