The Weighting Room Podcast
The Weighting Room Podcast
Fat Girl Therapy 32: Adventures in Popcorn, Discussing Mental Health, and a New Year of Self-Reflection
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Ever popped a whole cob of corn? We did, and the results were popcorn-licious. In our latest episode, we're taking you on a culinary adventure as we explore a unique popcorn snack from Costco, discuss our favorite festive mugs, and make some surprising discoveries about the calorie content in your favorite coffee.
The conversation takes a more personal turn as we candidly share our experiences of taking breaks from social media, handling negativity, and finding the motivation to build new habits. We're getting real about mental health, focusing on the positive, and overcoming obstacles. We also touch on the sensitive topic of body image, sharing our encounters with hurtful comments and societal pressure to conform to a certain body type.
Lastly, we reflect on the pressures tied to starting fresh in the New Year and share some of our own anecdotes. Hear about our love for the children's show, Bluey, and how our parents' interests have shaped ours. But wait, there's more! We're thrilled to announce our plans to read and review Mark Manson's book "Everything is Fcked" in the upcoming year. So, grab a copy and join us in this enlightening reading journey!
Do you have a story you would like to share? Send it to us at theweightingroompc@gmail.com
Disclaimer: We are not Medical professionals and all views and opinions are our own.
Discussion
Speaker 1A new snack in on popcorn .
Speaker 2Costco has a new one that's called poppin cobs and it's literally like a cob of corn that was like dipped in oil , and then you put it in like a paper bag and you pop it off the cob .
Speaker 1Oh , that's interesting . I had to add butter . It was very clean . We have a big box of that Orville popcorn and I was like Ram's make us some popcorn . And then he went he's like this expired two years ago and I was like , oh , I guess we just don't eat popcorn that much . We get the big boxes from Amazon like 25 bucks .
Speaker 2I guess I just don't eat enough of it . There's no way . Like our house loves popcorn .
Speaker 1I love popcorn . I think I feel like I like the idea of popcorn more . For one , I hate it when those things get stuck in my teeth or on the roof of my mouth or even in my throat and I get . I feel actually really sick . That's funny . I think I went to the .
Speaker 2I went .
Speaker 1I didn't think . I don't think I went to the movies with the friends my friend Sarah , like a couple months ago , and I think I might have got popcorn , or I didn't . I don't know , but I remember saying it out loud and I'm like that sounds really stupid , like yeah , I'm going to get popcorn , but it makes me sick .
Speaker 2No , I used to get it all the time , and then I would get butter on it , and it was the butter that made me sick .
Speaker 1Oh , maybe that's it my love to mug . Thank you , I thought I'd go Christmasy . Oh , it's resting Grinch face , Love it . I got this in Toronto in 2018 when I , when Rams and I drove from here to Ontario , I went to that Christmas market and I was like I'm obsessed with mugs . The only thing cause I was going on a massive road trip after that , my whole life was parked , not parked packed into the car . So I was like , well , I'll just get a mug .
Speaker 2I have a Christmas mug too . It's clear and shows eggnog .
Speaker 1I think I have a couple other ones . The one I hate is of Olaf's face because it has all these grooves in it inside of it and I'm like I can't clean that properly Like the new mugs from Tim Horton's . Oh really , the the , the pumpkin one .
Speaker 2No , the ceramic snowman mug .
Speaker 1Oh , I haven't seen that . I must go . Will it sell out like pumpkin ?
Speaker 2Probably already gone . You're too late .
Speaker 1Oh , that still makes me so sad . My mom was like on the hunt for it . I swear to God , right when pumpkin spice season hits , next year I'm going to go into Tim Horton's and be like where's the mugs ? Give them to me and I'll take a bunch .
Speaker 2They only sent like stores anywhere between half a dozen to two dozen . That's crazy , like there wasn't a lot .
Speaker 1It's probably a way to hype up Tim Horton's and then people are going to go there and then they'll be like well , we're already here , Get a coffee .
Speaker 2So I started tracking my calories today and my aunt brought me a coffee from Tim Horton's Medium to cream Guess how many calories .
Speaker 1Of just coffee with two cream , no sugar . A hundred 140 calories . That's just cream then , because coffee doesn't have any , really doesn't really have any calories .
Speaker 2But I didn't realize it was that high , like usually . If I got a coffee from Tim's like because I have no sugar in it , I never tracked it because I was always just like it's just coffee .
Speaker 1I feel like that might be wrong .
Speaker 2The 140 calories , because the 30 ?
Speaker 1from the Tim Horton's website for a double dump for two cream , mm , hmm , but it doesn't make any sense to me because full , like so , whipping cream 35% for two tablespoons is 50 calories . So if you're using like half and half or something , or a coffee cream which is 18% , so that's half of that , you know what I ?
Speaker 2mean Like , that just doesn't mean how much cream .
Speaker 1How much cream are you putting ? I don't know .
Speaker 2I don't know what their portion is , but one cream is 40 .
Speaker 1I was talking to Tim's there .
Speaker 2One cream is 40 . Two creams is , but that makes sense . Well , no , maybe not .
Speaker 1One cream is 40 and two creams is 140 . So you add 100 to add another cream .
Speaker 2No , sorry , 70 . And then 140 .
Speaker 1Oh , okay . Still , I don't know why I was like oh , that's still like 70 times two is 140 . I just doesn't make any sense . To me , though , that's crazy .
Speaker 2Yeah , but if you think about it like when you're putting cream , when you put like one of those creamers in your coffee , like you usually add more creamers than you order from Tim Horton's , yeah , those are like a tablespoon , aren't ? They . I don't think it's a tablespoon that they put in it , though . No , no , no , no , no , like when they say one cream yeah .
Speaker 1No , it's because they're not and it's well . I don't know about Tim Horton's , but for McDonald's it's proportionate to the size of the cup . So if someone asked for two cream , there was different buttons for small , medium and large and you press it twice , but it's like well that's not too cream , that's too large cream , it's whatever , but like what is like . It should write on there like tell us , what is that ? Let's .
Speaker 2Google it , because welcome to 2023 . Hold on , I'm trying to get to my thing here .
Speaker 1Man , I don't even want to know what mine is , because if I get a Timmy's coffee it's a double , double . I can't drink it any other way . I've tried . It means sugar , because Tim Horton's coffee sucks . It does it , really does . I prefer the dark roast I get so many angry emails for that comment .
Speaker 2That's all right . Some Canadians , we are right . It says two shots of cream , uses different dispensers . One large cream is 43 milliliters . It's almost three tablespoons is one cream in a large . That's crazy . More comments , but the calories make sense . Six tablespoons . Six tablespoons for two cream , that's a lot of cream .
Speaker 1You know tablespoons aren't that big . But yeah , I know , I Well normally Well before , like a year ago , I actually just was I would get milk and sugar in my coffee , cause like I just found cream pointless . Well , that's a lie . It's really nice , but it's just like pointless calories .
Speaker 2I just did a lot of it , so I believe that was the most important thing .
Speaker 1I actually I thought it was helpful to say I've got about a huge glob of base cell to put on this popcorn . So I'm like I'm really not complaining about the amount of cream that was in my coffee this morning , but I just was appalled to find out how many calories it was . Well , my cats are very concerned about my health , though I bought I got Costco the other day and I was like let's get cookies .
Speaker 2I was still wouldn't , even if I had just vacuumed , but like cause , I don't know . Well , that's the five second rule .
Speaker 1Oh yeah , More than five hours , uh , yeah . So , thanks a lot . Cats , yeah , yeah , but I did get a bunch of those icy squares . I see squares . Yeah , the chocolates that come . Please , like Google it . Tell me that you have them . They're the little square one . I'm not going to explain it to you , I'm just going to show you .
Speaker 2You don't want me to Google it now . She's gone . I see squares Chocolate . Oh yeah , I know what these are . She's already gone , but I do know what these are . My boss used to get these all the time and she would have them like at her thing . Yeah , I was saying I know what they are , oh , okay .
Speaker 1I Googled them while you were gone . Now that they're at my desk , I'm going to have one , I don't blame you . Oh , did you hear that song I asked you to listen to yesterday ? Did you listen to it ? Did you like it Did ?
Speaker 2you hear that song ? Yes , did you listen to it .
Speaker 1I know I am hearing and listening , or the same thing . No , no like , but did you listen to it ? You know , did it hit your soul ?
Speaker 2It didn't hit my soul the way it hit your soul .
Speaker 1Oh man , the fucking song is amazing . If anyone is wondering what I'm saying , I have to figure out what the song is called . Again , it's by talk and it's called a little bit happy and I'm going to finish eating my chocolate because I hate it when people chew . So I'm not going to be that person . I can't hear you chewing , by the way , I'm not . That was an attack at you , you would have told me by now , I think .
Speaker 2I mean , I didn't hate the song , I just didn't hit me . The same way I hate you .
Breaks From Social Media, Overcoming Toxicity
Speaker 1So for me , like so I'm taking for some people that are listening might know , but I'm taking a social media break right now . It's at least planned for a month , it might be until the new year , until we even come back on the podcast , because I've actually really been enjoying this last week Not being on social media . I mean just like not even just posting , I mean scrolling , because all that my life had become was work , sleep , eat , social media .
Speaker 1That's it Like because Rams and I don't even see each other four days of the week . It's literally just that's all I do . So I started reading a book again . My counseling is going really well . We've like been making plans on like little steps .
Speaker 1My plan is actually to go for a walk tomorrow because she's encouraging , like the Like , the , not the all or nothing . Because I said to her I'm like I'm really nervous about that right now because since I gave away social media , I'm like trying to read and like and do this and do that , and like I want to get out walking , but like I don't feel like it's good if I don't do at least five days and this and that . And she's like OK , she's . And I said to her I'm like I'll do this , I'll go all or nothing , and then I'll stop because it's just too much to take on at once . And she was just like I'm glad that you recognize that and let's take baby steps . So she's like how about you go for a five minute walk tomorrow ? I'm like how , about half an hour ? She's like OK , at first I said an hour , but anyway .
Speaker 1And then I told her about my competitiveness . I said I'm very competitive with myself . So if I , if I do that one day , then I'm going to want , I'm going to force myself to do more and it's just like that's where it starts spiraling out of control with me , because I always have to one up myself , mm , hmm , which can be good sometimes , but then it can get really toxic if it's constantly happening . Like , how can you keep one up in yourself if you're at your maximum ? Anyway , the point was this song , a little bit happy , that's what I was talking about , if any of you want to listen to it . It just really made me think where , like , a lot of people say really positive things to me and , like , sometimes , when I respond to negative stuff online , people are like why are you focusing on the negative when there's so many positive people saying things to you ? And I'm like because , like , the positive has become so normal that when the negative happens , it's like something I want to react to and that's so toxic and bad . It's like why ?
Speaker 1am I caring about this one random , horrible person . And like a lyric in the song I can't even remember now off the top of my head , but it said something like if I could see myself like through your eyes , maybe I'd be a little bit happy , maybe I'd be a little bit happy . And like , every time I hear this song now I break down crying . So maybe I'll go back on social media when I can listen to the song and not cry . And it's really true , because people say the most positive things to me , like they'll say I'm inspiring or that I'm a great person or whatever .
Speaker 1I can't actually think of what people are saying and I also don't want to talk about myself any more than I have to and I don't see that Like , I think they're liars , I think that they don't really know me . So , yeah , anyway , that song is really good , it's really powerful . I really like it . I have tickets to go see talk on May 6th and unfortunately I booked a vacation starting May 5th so I can't go to that concert anymore , but I'm going to try and go see him on in February playing down in Seattle .
Speaker 1But , yeah , if you guys want to know what I'm talking about , go listen to the song by the artist Talk TALK . It's called A Little Bit Happy .
Speaker 2The song is very good . It just didn't have the same hold on me as yeah Well , I didn't know the word .
Speaker 2I am obsessed right now . Ajr just came out with a new album last week . I have loved them for the longest time and on the album there's so many good songs Like . I've listened to this album at least six times over the last two days . Steve's going to London is really good . God is really real is so AJR ? Three brothers right and their dad passed away over the summer . And God is really real is about their dad passing away . And that one I cried I don't usually cry with music . I bought with that one but the song that like has really had a hold on me is Inertia . And it is . It's so good . I highly recommend it . There's a lot of good songs on there . I'm kind of hooked on like the whole album in general , but that song is just about like you know you're moving forward , but it feels like you're sitting still . It's very good .
Speaker 2I'm gonna have to check that out . Yeah , I listened to your song . You gotta listen to my song .
Speaker 1What made you decide to start tracking today ? Sorry to like go unrewind .
Speaker 2I was wiping butter off my hands when I made that clapping sound in case anybody heard that but there was a post that I came across .
Speaker 2When did I come across this ? Hold on , let me find it Okay . So there was a post that Andrew Coates Fitness posted on Instagram . They posted this on Instagram , I shared it to my story and the post was actually a retweet of Alex Hermose and it says if you're waiting for when you're less busy to start a new habit slash program , it assumes that when you get busy again you'll stop . If you want to endure change , the best time to start is when you're busy . Learn how to make it work in the worst condition and it'll stick the best .
Financial and Calorie Consciousness
Speaker 2So I came across that last week and my head went like you're not , you haven't gotten paid yet , so you can't go out and go grocery shopping . You know you're busy , so you get paid on Friday . You are going to the grocery store this week and you are going to eat at home this week . We're not going to order takeout for breakfast , lunch and dinner like you have been . You don't need the Starbucks like you have been . Like , yes , you're busy , yes , you've got a lot going on , but this is also important and yeah . So that's kind of it . Just it hit Monday .
Speaker 2I went to the store yesterday . I woke up this morning I had , and I hadn't actually planned on tracking when I had this talk with myself , I just planned on eating at home , like stopping the takeout , stopping the Starbucks , all that stuff . But then , like , as I was eating my avocado toast this morning , I was like you know what I feel really good I could do this , like even if you go over your calories , like just track and remind yourself what you're eating right now . So I haven't entered the popcorn yet and I haven't entered this eggnog yet , but I will not be buying any more eggnog after this one for this season , because it is 400 calories for one cup of eggnog , which is ridiculous .
Speaker 1So no , it's not yeah . No , it's not yeah . No , it's not no way yeah .
Speaker 2She left again . We could be having different brands , but I'm having the trail and it is 400 calories for one cup of eggnog .
Speaker 1Okay , you're drinking weird eggnog yo .
Speaker 2What kind of eggnog ?
Speaker 1comes from the fat cows . I can't even hear you . There's no fucking way . What kind of eggnog are you drinking ? So I have Dairyland . It's 120 calories for half a cup . How many 120 for half a cup ? So two , mine's the trail , so it's like the premium . But I also mix mine anyway , like I'll put a little bit of or a lot more eggnog and then mix some milk in it .
Speaker 2I want to try .
Speaker 1Sorry , but my panic that you fucking because , I don't . It's just funny that you said that . I'm so sorry to sidetrack this , but I literally just finished my eggnog and I went . There's no way I'm going to go the rest of every day without having an eggnog latte . I know I'm like pick me some up today , because I'm out Like even this cup of coffee . It's regular milk and I am so sad .
Speaker 2This is my second glass of eggnog today , so like I went over my calories today , but I'm not going to buy anymore of it I don't like . Well , maybe another one later on . I don't want to buy it back to back to back , but I feel like it was so aggressive of me .
Speaker 1I do .
Speaker 2I do want to try the oat nog , the one by Earth's own . There's an oat nog . Yeah , I really want to try it . I think I'm going to get it from the store tomorrow because I know I have a problem with dairy , Like I'm not lactose , but the bloating I get from it . I notice it every time I have it and when I've cut back on dairy I notice a huge difference . So I would like to try it and see if I like it . It's probably not the same creaminess and whatnot , but it's only 80 calories for half a cup .
Speaker 1So is it the barista kind .
Speaker 2It's Earth's own brand . I don't think it's barista oat , I think it's just Earth's own brand , because Earth's own brand .
Speaker 1I know what one you're talking about .
Speaker 2Okay , good , I'm just going to make it yeah yeah , I know they have like the black carton , right ? I love that oat .
Speaker 1It is good , the oat barista . Earth's own , my God yeah .
Speaker 2I currently just bought the Kirkland one that's what's in my closet right now is the Kirkland brand of oat milk , because it's okay , like it's just for oat lattes , you know what I mean . Like I'm adding coffee and other stuff to it anyways , but for eggnog I want to try that one and see how it is .
Speaker 1I ordered Instacart and spent $215 on Costco stuff and I looked at Rams and I said this is what our total is gonna be weekly . Like $200 is our weekly total for groceries and I'm like and right now cause like we have had takeout a couple of times again , god , this like 100 days of no takeout really sticking Whatever , I'm not being hard on myself , I said I was gonna calculate it at the end , but I'm still doing a way less like even less than half the amount that I well , it's like a less than a quarter of the amount that I used to do , but it still bugs me when I do it . So as long as we stick to not getting takeout , then our grocery bills will be that . But I got those . Oh , did you see ? Did I send you a text ? Damn BC got the Ontario version of cottage cheese , like .
Speaker 1I pulled it out and showed Rams . I'm like one of these is now two of these , like look at the size of them . So anyone out there ? We used to get three packs of the . They're probably 750 milliliters and now like , and it would be a pack of three , and now we have a pack of two , 500 grams grams not milliliters . I was gonna say I thought it was solid , but yeah , anyway , I am just peeved at that , but that was not my point .
Speaker 1I got chicken fingers . They're the whole wheat chicken fingers for the price of them . You get like 42 of them in the pack and I was like we're doing this , like everything of mine is you don't have to cook it , cause this week I just went , I'm at my max , rams is in school and he's also started going back to the gym , so like he's tired , like he can't do as many chores and stuff as like he used to , so I'm picking up that kind of slack . Anyway , I bought the 10 pack of the pre-made chicken for the for my salads , and then I bought the chicken fingers as like a nightly thing . I just thought it was kind of good like whole wheat , like it's .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Yeah . And then if we feel like butter chicken , one night I said I'm like I'm gonna make those chicken fingers and put a little bit of the butter chicken sauce on top , and there you go , Butter chicken Like butter chicken parm fingers . Yeah , yeah , oh yeah .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , I get it . So I decided to quit Starbucks . I'm only gonna have I had it on the weekend but , like I said , starting Monday I'm quitting Starbucks . I'm only going to have it on Thursdays , and the reason I'm having it on Thursdays is because I freaking hate Thursdays and I need something that's a pick me up . So I will look forward to Thursdays because it'll be Starbucks day . So I calculated it and I spent like over $200 on Starbucks over the last pay period , so two weeks .
Speaker 1Wow .
Speaker 2And it's like it's so easy to do because , like you , just you just get it , you know , you don't even think about it , you just put it on , put it on , put it on , put it on , and then all of a sudden you look back and you're like , oh my God , I spent that much , but a drink for me plus a drink for somebody else , and I was getting it twice a day , monday to Friday , sometimes on the weekends . That is easily over $200 . So I said I'm done , I can't do it anymore . I'm quitting Starbucks and it's not like it's not for mental reasons , like it has nothing to do with , like when I am quitting pizza thing , it's like quitting for financial reasons .
Speaker 1If I could afford to have .
Speaker 2Starbucks . Actually , you know what ? I can't even say that because even like , even just like , when I have a latte like the pumpkin spice latte and the venti is like 400 calories , Like it's , to have two of those drinks is 800 calories a day .
Speaker 1And my calorie budget is 1,800 . Does anyone else know that they're getting really depressed of Lisa talking about fucking calories and these damn drinks that we all love ?
Speaker 2I'm sorry , I thought this was a waiting room podcast .
Speaker 1Yeah , but you're depressing the fuck out of me .
Speaker 2I'm not meaning to , I'm sorry , I'm just , it baffles me .
Speaker 1I mean yeah .
Speaker 2It's like I just drink it , no problem . And then when I actually sit there and dissect it , it's like half my calories of the day is just going to these drinks and then when they ? Say don't drink your calories . And it's like I say like if you want to drink your calories , you can , but you got to work it in your budget and realistically I cannot afford to have two venti lattes in my budget . You just can't .
Speaker 1Yeah , no , Like I honestly was really kidding because , like all you're doing is really opening my eyes and just like making me like yeah , I mean . Now I do know I have to change because you're throwing it in my face .
Speaker 2This is my personal experiences . It also has to change because I'm changing .
Speaker 1Do you know what , though ? The Da Vinci sugar-free gingerbread . I got to stop tapping the Da Vinci sugar-free gingerbread syrup . Do I say sugar-free , sorry , it's really good with as an eggnog latte .
Speaker 2And .
Speaker 1I don't really get that chemically aftertaste . There's a little bit . There's a little bit of a taste . That's not , of course , sugar , but it's so good , and that gingerbread one is my favorite .
Speaker 2So if you do want yeah , oh , I got it . I got it the sugar-free or regular . The sugar-free one that you got , the Da Vinci one , it's okay . I prefer the one that begins with a T , that I can't remember what it's called , but just In the glass bottle . Yeah , yeah , but yeah , cinnamon syrup and eggnog , maybe because it's like fireball and eggnog . I don't know , but you can't have fireball all the time .
Speaker 1I think that's where I try and justify . Then , like having more than one latte is because I'm gonna use the sugar-free syrup that has no calories and also I shouldn't be having sugar Like in this coffee I just made myself there's two spoonfuls of sugar in it , like I have to if I'm not gonna use the sugar-free .
Speaker 1But I just have to figure stuff out more . You're making me realize that really I have to work out my budget more . I had that conversation with that fitness person last week and it went really good and it was very eye-opening . Personally , right now the cost of it doesn't fit within my budget , but that person still gave me really good tools to work with . And so , with you now talking about the tracking , I'm like , yeah , it is something that I really have to get more on board with .
Speaker 1I'm not ready to track every day , but what I want to do is when I know I'm gonna have a higher calorie day , because personally me , I know my calories at this point other than coffee , obviously , but like I know the food that I eat all the time , of what amount of calories of that I can have in a day . But , for example , today I had bull-deck noodles with a ton of vegetables . I added some cheese . The noodles with the packet on their own , without all the vegetables , without the cheese , without the shrimp , without the dumplings that I put in , there is 550 calories . Wow , so everything else I put in like I need to add that stuff up so that I know what it is that I'm eating . I ended up not actually eating . I ate all the veggies and stuff around it , and I ended up leaving a majority of the noodles because I was just so full . But yeah , so things like that . I'll track to make sure . Okay ? Well , I just ate a half a day's worth of calories in one sitting , so what can I do for the rest ?
Speaker 1And I think that's a good place to start . But if I start doing the tracking and then going , walking and maybe swimming and then doing all these other things , I've signed up for yoga and I'm gonna give up , like .
Speaker 2I know I will yeah .
Speaker 1Yeah , so day one did it go good for you .
Speaker 2Yeah , I have to enter in my popcorn and my second glass of eggnog , but I decided not to go crazy , like I didn't go in and I didn't enter in my own calories and I didn't enter my own calories so I didn't calculate it and then take some off and then I didn't go through calculatornet and blah , blah , blah . I'm just trying to get in the habit of tracking again , just building that habit . So my goal is 1,850 . I'm currently at 2,493 , but I do have to add the popcorn , which will be about 240 , and the eggnog , which is gonna be another 400 . So I'm gonna be closer to like 28 , 2900 calories somewhere in there , so going over by about 1,000 calories for today . But honestly , I tracked . You know what I mean .
Speaker 1So , like I'm trying to , I'm gonna give you at a deficit , right ? Yes , yeah .
Speaker 2Yeah , so I'm not . Yeah , I'm not like in my head about it . I'm not punishing myself for going over anything like that , Cause today was just like . As I said , I wasn't even expecting to track today . Right , I was just focusing on eating at home today , and the fact that I made my own eggnog latte today instead of ordering Starbucks , like that , was a win amongst itself . Right , so you can't boil the ocean , so it was just one of those . You gotta take it one step at a time here .
Speaker 1I love that Cause . Honestly , the last couple of God , it's not even just the last couple episodes on the podcast , that's the only thing that was public . But like you and I have been talking about this for a while but with you like kind of being down in the dumps and then like talking about how it's like not really on your mind , it's like I knew that this stuff is still on your mind , it's just not at the front of it and like you were sounding really down , like that . This is just . It did sound like you were giving up and I just kept not approaching it because I knew there was nothing I could say that's gonna change your mind in the moment . But deep down I'm like you're gonna get back , like I'm like she just needs to see something or someone needs to say something to her , that I couldn't think of what to say . Like nothing that would hit .
Speaker 1You know we say the same things to each other all the time , but I was like you're gonna get back there and I'm like really happy for you . Like I think that's awesome .
Speaker 2Thanks
Struggling With Self-Consciousness and Overcoming Negativity
Speaker 2. Honestly , I think a part of it was I . I took some time and really , like was focusing with myself of , like when did this flip ? Like , why did it flip ? Like you were going so hard , you were doing so well , like what happened ? What made you feel this way ? Right , I don't think I shared this here . I know I didn't share it on TikTok . I did share it with you , though , but there was a moment at softball . I'm gonna rewind a little bit though .
Speaker 2But so , like , all the year I've been doing really good , really well , everything had been going great . Like you were here to visit , fell off the track a little bit , but then , like I got back on , like right after you left you know what I mean . Like I struggled a bit , but I did not . But there was also that Thursday , right after you left .
Speaker 2I was playing softball on Thursdays , and one thing that I had been super self-conscious about the entire softball season was my running . I just I felt like like I wasn't as fast as everybody else and I talked about it on here , like near the beginning of the softball season where , when I was running , my stomach would come up and clap down . I measured it last week my stomach hangs down eight inches over my thighs , eight inches . And the reason I measured it was because , like , like I got to the point where it was like rubbing and chafing and I had to put like penitent in there so that it stops . And that's something that I regularly have to do because it chafes so much and I'm always go , go , go , go go and I was just like like how much is actually there ? And when I measured it , it was like like there's no words , like I don't have words for it you know what I mean .
Speaker 2Yeah , and so when I would run it would come up and it would smack down back onto me and it was just something that I was super self-conscious about . I already wasn't fast at running . You know , like I was pretty good at hitting the ball . The ball would go at a pretty good distance , but I just was not fast enough to get to the base from how hard I was hitting . So the one day we're all hanging out , we're all playing like everybody's friends , everybody's fine , and it comes down to the last inning and they're talking about the lineup and I'm one of the people in the lineup and the one guy goes oh , are you sure that , like your knee isn't hurting or something like that ? Like , do you need a runner after you hit ? And blah , blah , blah , and I kind of just walked away . Sorry , I keep coughing and I misplaced my water . I have no idea where my water jug is . So I kind of just walked away from the situation . But like , after I got to the car , like I just started balling because it was like it's that thing , that's like you've been so self-conscious about it in the back of your head and all season people are saying like , oh , you're doing such a good job and , oh , you've been doing better than the start of the season , like you're doing fantastic , blah , blah , blah . But then all of a sudden somebody like says that one thing that you have been like thinking about the entire time in your head and I just I snapped Like I started balling . I was like I don't even want to do this anymore , I want to quit . I stopped playing for like two weeks , like I had other reasons that I didn't want to play , but I took those reasons and flew with it so that I didn't have to play . I played for the tournament at the end of the year , but the games in between I wasn't playing . And like I do want to say that person did come to me and apologize , like they didn't mean it to be in a hurtful way , like this is a group of people that everybody jokes with each other all the time . And I feel like if they would have said like anything else , I would have been fine . But because it was that thing that was stuck in the back of my head and I was already super self-conscious about it , and then somebody said it out loud , the thing that you're already self-conscious about , that you feel like everybody else is no different from what you were noticing about you and you spent the entire season thinking no , no , no , like nobody cares , nobody notices , nobody cares . But then somebody points it out , then you feel like everybody cares , everybody notices , everybody knows us about you .
Speaker 2So it was like I didn't want to go to the gym anymore , I didn't want to do anything anymore , like what was the point in keeping up with my weight loss because I've been doing all this effort all year , or hell , the past few years , and let's just say this year , because , like I paused to have a baby and I paused because of body positivity and yada , yada , yada . So just saying this year I was focusing so hard for nine months and then that person said that and it just crumbled everything Because even though I was out there , I was playing the softball , I was going to the gym , I was eating healthy , even though I was doing all these things , it didn't matter . Because even though you feel like everybody around you , like you think everybody around you is like thinking negative things about you and you always convince yourself that they're not thinking negative things about you , but then somebody says it and then all of a sudden , everybody is thinking negative things about you because you don't actually know what everybody is thinking . So after like , doing some serious soul searching over the past few days , it's kind of just been a realization of you really started caring what other people were saying and you put in your head that if everybody else thinks you can't do it , then just don't do it , because what's the point if you can't . And so then it was on Saturday morning or I got Saturday evening . As I'm thinking about these things , I just got to the point that I was like fuck that .
Speaker 2Like I went nine months of doing this for me and doing this for Harper and like why does what other people think ? Anyways , this was only one person's opinion , wasn't even his actual opinion .
Shopping, Body Image, and Future Plans
Speaker 2We had conversations afterwards . He never meant to hurt me , he apologized , I told him how I felt , he told me how he felt . We hugged it out . I have no hate towards that person whatsoever , but at the end of the day the words still left their mouth . You know what I mean , yeah , so yeah , it just turned into me realizing that I really don't give a shit what other people think , and that's how I started snapping back the end .
Speaker 1Hearing your voice crack and stuff , like I was starting to like well up and I'm like , hold it together . That was really intense but like totally got it . Like I hear you . I mean it's not the same situation , but I told you about this already and for anyone out there , you're not allowed to hate Rams because of this , because people have to put the tongues .
Speaker 1But we're out shopping and we're shopping for Rams and we're looking at all the guys and I'm throwing clothes at him and he's trying them all on and I heard someone behind me say , oh , this is the last day at 40% off at Old Navy and I was like , ooh . So when he was done I was like let's just like glance at the women's section , but , to be quite honest , like most of the plus sizes online anyway , so I was just going to glance but there was this cute little dress and the highest size was XXL . But there are times where I would fit into an XXL , depending what it is and how much stretch there is in it . And this dress had stretch like a lot of stretch , to where I put it on over me or I didn't put it on , sorry , I put it over me and I could tell that it would have fit . And so I said to him I was like , oh , it's like 40% off , it's like $55 , and then the 44 , 40% off that . And he's like , oh yeah , and I'm like I think I'm going to get it . And I was just like really happy in this moment because I was like I found something pretty . And his only reaction to it was , yeah , but is it even going to fit ?
Speaker 1And I it was like slow motion . I just looked at him like what ? And then he was like well , I'm just , and I didn't give him a chance , I just went , you know what , it's fine , and I put the clothes back and I said I'll meet you outside , go cash out . And then he was like he tried very hard to be like oh , wait , wait , wait . But I'm like , no , I will meet you outside . And I just bawled my eyes out outside the store because in that moment it's like we just did a bunch of shopping for you and I just like I looked at this one thing and the first thought out of your head is is it going to fit ?
Speaker 1Me ? Like for one pardon me , because this is my partner . I didn't say it to his face , but I'm like who the fuck are you Tell me if that's going to fucking fit . Like I'm not your child , you're not buying this for me . Like excuse me , if you think I'm just going to waste money on something that I'm like , ooh , it's pretty , it can sit in my closet , like what . So yeah , it really bothered me , we are past it , it is fine . He said it was just a slip of a tongue . He just was asking because I guess also like maybe he thought like our money's tied together , like it's a bit wasteful of his own money whatever it may be .
Speaker 1Like I understand it now , but I told him I'm like when we're shopping for you , I go is this size okay ? Is this size okay ? Like I don't say like , is that even going to fit you ? I'm like you have to realize the way that you wear things is just like not cool sometimes . You know , and I feel sometimes , when even I feel sometimes that when you're not in that bigger body like comments , or if you haven't had an issue with weight , you don't have to necessarily be in a bigger body . Comments like that regarding things about sizing can really hit you the wrong way .
Speaker 1I think most people in the world have had weight issues , so like I'm sure everyone gets it .
Speaker 2So we're in the States and Brandon and I went to Target and we bought a bunch like we bought shirts and whatnot , right ? And he's like I'm going to buy you this shirt because I really like it . It's the EV one that I've worn a couple of times . I didn't know and he knows what story I'm about to tell and he said you're making me look like a dick , it wasn't accident .
Speaker 1Tell him I just made Rams look like a dick .
Speaker 2No , no , no , he can listen to the episode if he wants to know that . Just one sec . So , yeah , we went shopping in the States . We're back at his aunt's place , we're cutting off the tags and all that , right . And the one shirt that he picked out , with the EV shirt , he holds it up and he's like , yeah , I think this one should be big enough to beat you . And I looked at him and then his aunt looked at him and he's like wait . And I'm like , dear , did you seriously just call me fat ? And he's like but that's not what I meant . And his aunt was just like mm-mm , no no .
Speaker 2But , brandon , I honestly we call each other fat so much that it's just like a right , like you know what I mean , like it's like I know I'm fat . He knows he's fat . We call each other fat all the time . So it was just like when he said it , I knew he meant like I'm sure it's gonna fit , because I complain about how stuff isn't big enough to fit me all the time . Right , so I knew he was that's what he was trying to say . But it's just every opportunity I get to be like dear you just call me fat .
Speaker 2Point out the fact that you call me fat , but that trying to call me fat it's just .
Speaker 1You know it's fun Speaking of that , so I don't fat shame my cat but when I do , we do like , say like , cause you know sometimes she'll jump to get into something when we're like oh , I had too much of a big girl there .
Speaker 2And we're like , we'll be like , come on tubs .
Speaker 1But you know she doesn't understand what we're saying . But , like , when I do it , I'm okay with it . But then when Rams when you jump in a box , yes , when I get into those boxes , no , when I make fun of Luna . But then when Rams does it , he'll be like he'll say the exact same thing as me and he'll be like oh , tubs . And I'm like don't fat , shame the cat . And he's like you say the same thing . I'm like , yeah , but we're two fat women that have this thing with each other . She would say it back to me . I can say it to her we're a couple of bitches . You are not welcome . Mm-hmm , oh , it's so lame , but funny . Do you think that ? Do you have it ? Okay ? I want to know how ? Do I want to say this Do you have any plans on anything else ? Or is like tracking your thing right ?
Speaker 2now , man , I would love to start incorporating physical activity again , but just as you could tell , with the amount of coughing that I've been doing that tickle , spending it for three effin weeks , dude , like it's driving me crazy . I got it ever since Harper was at the hospital , so we might be coming up to four weeks now actually , but like it just won't go away . Like , even just breathing into talk right now , it's just like okay let's cough .
Speaker 2Like it . Just it's driving me insane because that's the only thing that I would like to do again , but I'm not gonna push it .
Speaker 1I'm gonna wait until this is better , because honestly , when I look into my crystal ball , I see January being a thing for you , and it's not the whole new year , new me thing , it's . You will be settled a bit more into your position , you will have moved . I feel like a lot of things will start coming together around then and like I agree . That's when you're probably gonna be like I have a little bit of time now .
Speaker 2I totally agree . And you know what's funny is my friend .
Starting Fresh, Making Changes, Reflections
Speaker 2I was like last year , I remember , saying I'm starting January 1st and my friend was like Start January 2nd , maybe even 3rd . And I was like no , I'm starting January 1st . And she's like no , you're gonna want the day you should probably start January 2nd . And I'm like no , I don't care how hungover I am . January 1st I am starting , and sure as hell , I started January 1st and I went , I went and went and went until that fall apart in September , and now I'm back . So what ? September , october , number three months , like a hiatus of three months out of 12 months . That's not bad .
Speaker 1I'll take it . That is good . I never start anything January 1st after this one year . I Think it was either 2016 or 2017 . Oh , never again . So , um , I Mean I've only lightly talked about it and I'm not gonna really dive deep into it . But let's just say that at my maximum party level I could party hard with hard things . So Not dicks them too multiple . I'm just kidding . Okay , well , wrong podcast . So On holidays , especially New Year's Day , I would always sign up for being the first server , so I would do the either . I normally wouldn't do breakfast , but I do lunch , and normally , when you're on lunch , if you're one of the servers , you're first to get cut . So normally , once the people start coming in the dinner time like you're probably not gonna stay , but me I was like no , I want to do lunch and I want to stay for dinner . So like , if you're gonna cut me , I'll ask someone else that they want to go . Like whatever , I worked From this that New Year's , though , I did breakfast , so I was there at six in the open morning .
Speaker 2And .
Speaker 1I didn't leave until 11 o'clock at night and I had already poop so hard that I literally puked 30 minutes even before I started work , like I looked like death .
Speaker 1I remember someone came to come get their car keys because I refused to let them have their car keys that night , like , even if I'm fucked up , you do stupid things , and I also walked around that party that night educating people about the importance of brushing their teeth , no matter how fucked up you are . It was my own house , by the way . I didn't bring a two-part .
Speaker 2You're like having them out to people . Right , they're like you are gonna dentist , you're like no , I work . I really want like the complete opposite . Totally ruins your teeth .
Speaker 1Oh my god , but yes that that I made really good money like tip-wise and everything . But I had so many regrets , like the guy that came to come get his keys Like I just remember being like , what do you want ? And he's just like my keys and I'm like I will get them to you when I have the time like I was just being a bitch for no reason , like I'm pretty sure I had complaints about me that day and I was like why did I do this to myself ? And it was just because I was so driven by Money which is like , in essence , the same way as like me being competitive with myself , so like doing a workout so I refused after that point to ever do anything on January 1st again . I don't even drink anymore . I still won't do anything on January 1st .
Speaker 2That's fair . That's fair If you ever have the chance . There's an episode of bluey called whale watching and it's about the parents being hungover and the parents still want to play a game with them , but the kids or no , the kids don't want to play a game with them , but the kids don't realize the parents are hungover , so it's .
Speaker 1It's pretty funny as an adult thing for bluey .
Speaker 2Bluey is made for adults , like you know how you have kids shows that it's like they put in a joke here and there , that it's like the kids won't get it but the adults are gonna get it . It's the complete opposite with bluey . Bluey is flat out made for adults , but they have disguised it to be for kids so that the whole family can watch it . Huh , I was hanging out with Sammy on Friday and we just hung out watching bluey .
Speaker 1It has that song . I don't like it though . Right , yeah , no .
Speaker 2For literally 10 seconds . It's just the intro . You can fast forward it . I think it's just because , like you guys , those are only five minutes long .
Speaker 1Yeah , no , okay , yeah . So everyone out there . She played it on repeat and it's like I didn't clue into it until it was like five minutes and I'm like what the fuck's going on ? Like what is this music ? And ?
Speaker 2then the great part is like I had to run in and pick up Harper's cake from Costco , so like , like , here's my phone if you need it . She's like okay , I run in and I come back , and the damn song is playing when I come back .
Speaker 1Only thing that kept Harper quiet and I was like this is what we're doing then ? Because like bluey or child screaming , like you know , you know what she has developed her .
Speaker 2She now really likes ZZ top , oh yeah . I don't understand this child . Her favorite movie is top-done , she's 14 months old .
Speaker 1This is all your dad's influence like percent .
Speaker 2I know she loves him so much . He's like my mom says that like he's her hero because he picks her up from daycare all the time . But like she like loves to give him hugs and talks to him and points at him and it's always papa , papa .
Speaker 1So it's so cute .
Speaker 2I mean like I know ZZ Top , but I'm not , they're not my . I'm not gonna turn them on when I get in the car . You know what I mean .
Speaker 1If they happen to come on , I'm not like it would change the radio station , but when I first moved to Banff , there's this bar named called Tommy's and there's a picture of Tommy because he works there like it's his bar with ZZ Top , and I was like I like this bar . They also had like dollar high balls on a certain night so I was like my favorite .
Speaker 2Oh man , it's like Molly Blooms . When Molly Blooms was around , they had mini pictures . Oh , is that a pretty good price . You can't get that shit anymore .
Speaker 1I was actually talking about Ontario for next year , talking to Rams about going , because he's going at the end of February to go visit his mom well , to a specific not to where you are , obviously and then I said I'm not going because then I'm oh yeah , for everyone out there . I'm so excited . I really wanted to treat my mom , so I found a really good deal for an Alaskan cruise . I was also going to mention when you talked about whale watching , because apparently that time in May is really good for whale watching , so I'm really excited . My brother doesn't think I'm going to convince my mom to get on a whale watching boat , but we'll see , we'll see . But yeah , I want to try and plan for Ontario and all I kept thinking was okay , but I think you've had enough Harveys and Firehouse like maybe next time you go there you can do a shopping trip with Lisa and actually have good food . Maybe create content for once with the food . I think I've seen you three times now and not once . We don't create content or anything when we're there .
Speaker 2We did better this time for making content , I will say that , and we did make a couple meals , not a lot , though .
Speaker 1Yeah , and the makeup thing , that was really fun to be able to do . That was fun . Yeah , you have to do that again . Do you like my eyebrows ?
Speaker 1They're almost like they're better now . Like this is the second See , they're still a little light . They have to like get a little bit darker , but at least I have the shape . Now . This one actually doesn't didn't sorry , because no one can see me except you but this didn't like connect . The ink didn't connect with the skin on the side as good as it did on the side . You know what I mean , and like this side has always been a little bit slicker . But in the end at least I have the shape and if I have to fill them in a bit , then I fill them in a bit .
Speaker 1But honestly , I didn't even notice it until you pointed it out , like the lightness .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Yeah , okay , well then , that's a great thing .
Speaker 2Yeah , I feel the normal now . Just don't point it out to people , because then they see it .
Speaker 1Do you like my eyebrows ?
Speaker 2Everybody go to Chris's TikTok page . She's not on right now , so she won't even talk yeah .
Speaker 1Oh my God . So yeah , with them .
Speaker 2So you're not coming in February , like you're going well watching in February . No , you're not going to May .
Speaker 1Rams is going in February and just , I don't really care if people on the podcast no , rams and I can't travel to Ontario together . It's just not a good time . He stays somewhere that's like still like an hour away from where Lisa is , and it's just I'd have to rent a car . I don't like the place where Rams stays and it's just not a good experience . When we're there together . He also has other things he needs to do , so there's no point in going together . Yeah , but yeah , I'm hoping this to go later in the year , because now that remember I was the cruise I was thinking was going to happen in September , but now that it's happening early in the year , I'll have a lot of the later part of the year to do stuff . Nice , yeah . Anyway , this was a very random . I feel like we barely talked this week , so this was more of like even a catch up for us . Do you have any goals this week or do you just want to stick to your ?
Speaker 2like tracking . I'm just vibing with how I'm feeling . Yeah nice , yeah yeah .
Speaker 1I have a goal just to go for a walk once this week , which actually is going to be , hopefully , tomorrow , just because my counselor and I just agreed on that , and also I would like , by next week , to have finished that book I'm reading , which is insane . Oh , I meant to talk about this through the whole podcast . Please go and understand that this is someone that's only up to chapter three . Go buy the book . Everything is Fucked . Go get it , because it's amazing .
Speaker 1If you ever have thought that you need to go get CBT Cognital Behavioral Therapy I don't know if I did talk about this last time , now that I'm saying it out loud , you didn't talk about the book , but you were talking about that specifically . Okay , if you've ever thought that you need to get that , or if you have got that , read this book . It's just the way that he writes it . It's so great . And also I love it when writers are just normal . Remember how I just I'm just normal . Remember how I said talk normally . Yeah that I want a therapist that'll tell me to go fuck myself .
Speaker 1You know what I mean . Like I would just love someone to talk like that and that's how he talks in this book , right ? I mean the title is called Everything is Fucked , so it's from this- .
Book Review in the New Year
Speaker 2I am because we talked about it , so I was gonna get it and we were gonna review it .
Speaker 1Yeah , if that's something you still wanna do , I do , and I obviously not for this year . So we will definitely review it in one of our first episodes coming back in the new year . So if you go pick up that book , then you'll be able to follow along with what we're talking about . It is the second part , I guess , of his first book called the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck , which I know a lot of people have heard of . Yeah , I never read that book . I just went straight into this one because it was at the airport and I just liked the title . So , yeah , we will be doing that next year .
Speaker 2Go get it , read it .
Speaker 1Okay , and tell me what you think I have to too . This has been fun . Yeah Well , let's wrap it up . Okay , little bow , we're gonna have a waiting room , so look forward to that on Thursday .
Speaker 2On Thanksgiving in the America place .
Speaker 1Yeah , usa .
Speaker 2Bye , yay , bye , yay Thanks .