The Weighting Room Podcast

Rejecting Harmful Diets and Embracing Authentic Self-Care with Lindsay @Fantasticalfatty

Chris & Lisa

Ever found yourself chuckling over the daily hiccups of life, like a Tigger onesie disaster or the overzealous use of a Zoom filter? That's just a teaser of what's in store when Lindsay, our special guest, joins us to dissect the lighter side of life and the heavier topics of body positivity and mental health. Together, we muse over the idiosyncrasies of our days, from the comfort of lazy Sundays to the emotionally charged terrain of heteronormative relationships, with books like "The Tragedy of Heterosexuality" and "Fed Up" guiding our banter.

The rollercoaster ride of diet culture, with its peaks and valleys, is something many of us know all too well. In this heart-to-heart, Lindsay Chris and Lisa pull back the curtain on how our families shaped our early interactions with dieting, and how communal dieting can affirm harmful behaviours and skew our perceptions of body image. As we journey through our personal narratives of weight struggles and societal pressure, we celebrate the liberating philosophies in "The Fck It Diet" and "Health at Every Size," and the courage it takes to break free from the toxic narratives wrapped around our bodies.

Wrapping up our chat with some food for thought (and soul), we delve into the joyful world of movement, the myths of exercise correlating with weight loss, and the power of rewarding ourselves with the simple pleasures of life—like a walk to grab our favorite subs. We also embrace the art of listening to our bodies' cravings and the nurturing aspects of intuitive eating, ensuring that we're not just nourishing our bodies, but also our spirits. It’s all rounded off with some "Listen Bitch" affirmations, ensuring we kick off our week with the right dose of sass and self-respect. This episode isn't just a conversation; it's a celebration of self, sustenance, and the occasional steak mushroom melt sub.

The Latin Minute
The Latin Minute is your new favorite bilingual comedy podcast. Latinos living in SW Fl

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show


Do you have a story you would like to share? Send it to us at theweightingroompc@gmail.com

Disclaimer: We are not Medical professionals and all views and opinions are our own.

Speaker 1:

Sup Lisa. Hey, Chris, Are you?

Speaker 2:

excited for today's episode. I'm super excited. I just wanted to take a second to let everybody know that Chris is wearing a super cute Tigger onesie and I am wearing a crop top hoodie that my daughter threw up on five minutes ago.

Speaker 2:

And that is the vibe that we are rolling with today. I literally almost texted you and was like Harper just threw up on me I'm going to need two minutes. I was like there's different levels of throw up on you, that it's like this is fine. Anyways, moms know they get it. So do people who party a lot. They get it too. But anyways, this is not what we're talking about today.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh, that went sideways.

Speaker 2:

This is going to be a guest episode of the waiting room. We are going to have Lindsay on with us today. We're really excited about like. This is our first guest for this year.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm just like I'm so happy to like. I feel like last year we didn't really have that many guests. I feel this year we're we're going to have more random people come on.

Speaker 2:

OMG, you know my brain, tahu значит recipe, you know YouTube 100 days. But let's be honest, we're hopeful, yeah. But, yeah, so back to Lindsay. Lindsay's going to be joining us today. Lindsay is on the body positive side of TikTok, not focusing so much on a number on the scale, a weight that you should be at, but mental health and just being healthy in general as a person, which is very refreshing to see on the internet these days. Yeah, yeah, let's do this. Hi, hi, can't hear you.

Speaker 1:

Oh, you're muted.

Speaker 3:

I haven't looked in a mirror all day.

Speaker 1:

What I don't do, that ever I mean, I've got haircut Plus.

Speaker 3:

I don't know what it is with Zoom, but it always make I like, if you look at me in real life, this isn't here, I don't know.

Speaker 2:

I have that here all down here, Makes it super red.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I'm like what is this bullshit, Anyways hi. Sunday.

Speaker 1:

I was just saying. I've been in relax mode all morning. I was cuddling with Luna and man. If we weren't doing this, like I said, if we didn't have a guest, at least I would have canceled, because I didn't want to stop cuddling Luna.

Speaker 3:

I know I was like I'm going to get some work done. No, I've been watching YouTube videos. And do you know Vinny Fierce Faddy?

Speaker 2:

No, I don't think so. I don't think so.

Speaker 3:

No, we've just been messaging all day and like as soon as this is done, I have a new book that Vinny let me called hang on. It's called the Tragedy of Heterosexuality and I cannot wait. I'm going to go crawl into bed and read that when we're done.

Speaker 1:

Is it like a synopsis of it?

Speaker 3:

I think it's just kind of talking about how fucked up heterosexual relationships are and how messed up they've become.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, they are pretty fucked up.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, well, and it kind of reminds me. I don't know if you've ever seen this, but being that I'm queer, I want a lot of queer TikTok videos and there's a common saying are the straights OK? And I feel like that book is are the straights OK in Karnat? Yeah, I love it In more detail why they're not OK?

Speaker 2:

Why?

Speaker 3:

they're not OK. I mean, look at.

Speaker 1:

Apple for why they're not OK. I love seeing it when people stitch videos and it's just like are the straights OK? That's really what's happening.

Speaker 3:

Right, yeah, another really good book I've read a while ago called Fed Up. Have you heard of that one?

Speaker 2:

No Heard of, but not enough to know it.

Speaker 3:

It's really good.

Speaker 3:

It's about the emotional and emotional labor and mental labor that women do and how men are socialized to not care and not pay attention and not contribute, and how women are conditioned and socialized to over nurture, over care, over contribute, and how that's both burning women out our brains out and also screwing men over because they don't have good relationships with kids and families and they don't have like when a woman dies or divorces him, leaves his ass.

Speaker 3:

How quickly they like fall into disrepair as a human being because they don't. They haven't cared about their own life and if someone's not babysitting them, mothering them, and how gross it is for women to have to mother their. I forget where I was and it was like a group online thing and it was with a bunch of heterosexuals, a bunch of straights and straight women specifically, and someone commented about she has two kids and her husband's like her third, and all of the women were like and I was like, oh, I'm sorry. And I was like, oh, sorry, that was the wrong reaction to have. It's OK, that's not a good thing, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

I wrote that down, though I'm going to look up that book because that sounds like something I need to read.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, both men and women, and everything and everyone in between. It's really important because when you understand how we're socialized and conditioned to be like this and how it's harming everybody, yeah, Love it. What are we talking about?

Speaker 1:

today I've had way too much coffee. Today, though, that I also feel like it's made me the opposite. I feel very like I'm starting to crash or something I don't know. Sunday, sunday mode.

Speaker 3:

Hold on just a little bit longer, Chris. It's a little bit longer.

Speaker 2:

Sundays. I hate Sundays because, like Monday is going to be the next day and nobody really wants to go to work. But I feel like, yeah, you've had the weekend, you're refreshed. Honestly, I hate Thursdays. Like Thursdays are by far my least favorite day of the week. Why? Because so Monday happens and I'm like, I'm refreshed, I'm good, I'm OK, for Monday it's start of gym and all the positive things through the week, not just work, and I like my job, so it's not that big of a deal. But then by the time you're done, wednesday, you've had three days. It's just been long, it's just been tiring. You're ready for the weekend, but that's not happening. You have to get through Thursday and then Friday. Friday it's like, yeah, it's almost the weekend, you can get through it, but Thursday you have to get through Thursday and it is just in the way of Friday. If we had a four day week, sure, tuesdays would then become my least favorite day and that's a whole other thing. But Thursdays, thursdays, they're always in the way, every single week.

Speaker 3:

Thursdays are in the way. Thursdays are the cock block of the week.

Speaker 2:

It's exactly what it is.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2:

Oh man, Christy, we're going to say something before I went into my weekly rant.

Speaker 1:

No, it's like when I hear about, like I'm not a Monday to Friday person, I'm a Tuesday to Friday person, so then, like the way that I feel about Monday is not the same. But then on.

Speaker 1:

Tuesday I'm like I hate today. I guess like technically I don't have a Wednesday, then because it's just a four day work week, I think is really awesome, but because I work graveyards, I need a whole day of just trying to get onto being a day person and then quickly transition to back to being a night person. A little rough.

Speaker 3:

Right, I must take a real toll on you.

Speaker 1:

I don't sleep much.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it's kind of like, because there are studies right that talk about the mental and physical health effects people that work graveyard aren't there and like it literally takes years off your life.

Speaker 1:

Well, you know, if you ever hung around me or any of my co-workers, you definitely think there was something wrong with us.

Speaker 3:

We're a little crazy? Well, because it goes against your circadian rhythms, like it goes against the nature again. Hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, right?

Speaker 1:

Like it's very contributing to my vitamin D deficiency as well.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, for sure, if you're not out during daylight hours and yeah.

Speaker 1:

I'm. I have a goal this year, though you know I'm going to make the most of my weekends once the weather's better, meaning for hikes, because you know it gets too muddy when it's raining no, it's gross. Vancouver. I want to do the gross grind. Unfortunately, the grind is closed right now because they're constructing the stairs to be like a really fancy now, which is kind of good, because there was nails sticking out of most of them.

Speaker 3:

Well, it's also way too early, like it doesn't usually open till what? April, may, yeah.

Speaker 1:

But they said that the full construction isn't going to be done until 2025. So I'm hoping they're still going to open it up and just like put the stuff to the side during the months when you would normally have it open. I would like to do it once a month to try and get my time down to two and a half hours right now I the last time I did it was twenty twenty one and was three and a half hours.

Speaker 3:

So nice, I did. I did it once, eight or not twice and one the first time I ever did it. It took me an hour and fifty and back then I was in like pretty good shape but I was definitely still in a bigger body and so, like you know, but I didn't understand that you don't just like whoa, you got to pace yourself.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's a marathon Right.

Speaker 3:

Then the second time I did it and I remember, like getting to, we are the third. Is it the third kilometer? Third mile, kilometer, mile Kilometer.

Speaker 2:

I was going to probably kilometer if it's a Canadian measurement.

Speaker 1:

It's too bright, yeah, kilometers, but it's like straight, like two point eight. Doesn't sound like a long hike, but then when you see what, like the, yeah, the elevation, it's just straight up.

Speaker 3:

So I remember getting to two and being like I am never going to survive this and then getting to three and being like, oh, like I'm almost done. And then, the second time I did it, I was determined to like beat my time. And then I was with a friend who had never done it before. It was a group of us that went and he has type one diabetes and it really messed him up and he kept like throwing up and it was like really. So I was like all right, I guess I'm going to hang back with you and it's good, because we're like really, really, really good friends still to this day, Like you know. But at the time I was like I will sacrifice my best time for you like less, but then because I've wrecked my knees.

Speaker 3:

I don't think that I'll be able to ever do it again. I don't. I think that's pretty much out of my. So it's a little bit like, yeah, I will never do it again.

Speaker 1:

That's that's how I worry, because I have me pain in both my knees. It's a lot, a lot better than it was, so I am a bit worried about that. But my physiotherapist taught me to walk upstairs a different way than what I normally do. So you know, like you normally like, if you're just like running up the stairs, you'll press off of your toes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah but he's like you need to press down on your heel, lean forward, and it's the leaning forward, so that you're using your glutes and stuff and when he had me do that I was like I've never gone up a stair like this and it feels amazing. So I'm hoping that I can practice I've. Last week I got to five minutes on the stair climber at the gym, which I was really happy about, because five minutes straight it's hard for me. I'm just trying to get back into things. So I sweat like five times as much as I do when I'm just on the bike or anything. Because there's our heart, because you're using.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I mean I will say the girl's crying. It isn't just all stairs either, like there's like parts where it's just uphill gravel and the stairs are just uphill, and the stairs are not like like a stair climber, like they're like, they're big and then yeah, so they're small, they're smaller steps, so it's not.

Speaker 3:

It's not as intense as going up a staircase for two hours, right, although you know, but you've done it before, so it is you know. But at least what do you have in the first kilometer? You have the opportunity to turn around.

Speaker 1:

I think after that, lisa, it says congratulations, you got to a quarter of the way. If you found that hard, turn back, because it doesn't get easier. Well, and I don't think you're allowed to turn back. You can turn back there, but not that's what I mean.

Speaker 1:

After that, you can, however, I said the last time I did it there was two girls trying to come down from the top and I just went knowing how steep some of those parts are and how narrow it is with just you going up. I'm like good luck, but you shouldn't be doing that.

Speaker 3:

Well, because it degrades the trail too. So you're not really not supposed to. Yeah, but it is a shock. You're not supposed to be doing that all the time yeah, wow, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So to get into what are we talking about? Yeah, you, we wanted to talk a little bit about you, what you're about, cause, like you know, reading your Website, you talk a lot about how you were really and like you started dieting when you were 16 and you got like through all those toxic diets and whatnot and in 2020, I think I just want to know more about that and, like, what's going on with you?

Speaker 2:

I feel like a lot of the people here already know about us, so Well, let's do it.

Speaker 3:

What? Yeah, cause I don't think I've said like a bye or anything, and so, like I was, like I was like I didn't know we're talking about, well, let's get into it. I'm always ready to talk about anything.

Speaker 1:

I did just like. You know your experience with everything and like how you feel about diets and you know living in a fat body and you know all that stuff.

Speaker 3:

So just love to hear about you. Amazing, do you have set questions or you want me to start talking?

Speaker 2:

It's going to be you start talking and we just shoot the shit. Okay cool, I love it.

Speaker 3:

Amazing. So yeah, my first diet, my first diet at 16,. It was a network marketing company my parents were a part of called diet sticks, and what you would do is you would eat these giant pixie sticks full of this powder, chocolate or vanilla, and then you would eat nothing but fruit.

Speaker 2:

Oh, wow.

Speaker 3:

That was it.

Speaker 2:

Interesting At 16,. That sounds pretty appealing, I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 3:

Right. Well, and what's wild is that, like I wasn't fat as a child or as a teen, I wasn't fat. I was athletic and I had a you know dump in my trunk, I had a big bum and I was very curvy, but I wasn't fat.

Speaker 3:

But by those standards and by the standards of my very skinny cousins and friends, I would have been considered fat, but I wasn't fat, I just was curvy and very athletic. But I was convinced that I had to be real thin and you know. And so, yeah, my parents or my mom and everyone got me started on these diet sticks and it was disgusting and it was literally cutting out whole entire food groups.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

It was like fruit and like veggies and like I don't even think we were having protein, like it was just and you're consuming this powder. And, fun fact, a little bit shortly after that I started becoming sexually active and was on the pill.

Speaker 3:

And you know how the pill makes you kind of nauseous when you're at a lot of medications and you kind of nauseous when you start taking them. And so I had this period of time where I was taking up this pill and made me incredibly sick and nauseous, while also eating these diet sticks, and to this day there's this certain scent of vanilla that just turns my stomach. But anyway, so I digress, I'll digress a lot.

Speaker 2:

I have that with white rum, but that was a different story.

Speaker 3:

That's a whole different story.

Speaker 1:

Anytime you get a diet product that tastes like cardboard, it's like I mean, no, it tastes like cardboard, so that's triggering. But it just makes me think of the Jenny Craig box as my mom used to have in the cupboard, like just the smell of even the boxes there were certain.

Speaker 3:

Jenny Craig males. That I remember because I think that my mom's, my parents, were separated when I was like what? At seven years old. They got back together when I was 13. So between the age seven and 13, my mom would have the Jenny Craig and I think sometimes she would just give us her meals for dinner Just because she just she was home late and that was it Right. Yeah, there were. Well, those were disgusting. There was nothing redeeming about those.

Speaker 1:

I've said it before but, like you don't know, my mom's nickname was Skinner. So like I grew and she was very caught up in like toxic 90s diet culture and I was big for my age, like I mean, I was born a big child even. But when I look back on the photos, I wasn't. I wasn't a fat kid. And then, yeah, I got a treadmill for my 16th birthday and it went downhill. So I totally relate to the some of the stuff that you're saying it's it's.

Speaker 3:

Well, and this thing is like flip switch flipped at that age where it was like I was athletic and sporty because I loved it. It's who I was, but all of a sudden it started to now become about I must work out at the gym to not be fat.

Speaker 2:

Right, just out of curiosity, was your family doing this diet as well, or was it just like they just like gave it to you?

Speaker 3:

My entire family, my aunts my uncle, like it was my entire family, but also my. It's interesting because both my mom and my dad were like the fatties for their families, right, but they were so anti fat and so all of my family so petrified of being fat, yeah Right. So they all, they all did it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Cause sometimes that makes like mentally, that makes a difference of things too Right. When it's like if you're, if you're being singled out on it and you're like you're the only one who needs to do this, we're all fine, but you're the only one who needs to do this, versus oh, we're all doing it.

Speaker 3:

You know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

Like it both not good, but it definitely different. Mental. I want to say scarring, but that's not the word that I'm looking for.

Speaker 3:

Well, it is scarring. I think there's such a danger in all of us. I mean, listen, they're both bad. They're. They're both bad for their businesses, right, but there is something so insidious about it being a family or a community endeavor, because I think that's where we begin to get hooked into. What am I trying to say? That it is socially acceptable to comment on our bodies, comments and other bodies, people's bodies, that you were considered a good person If you were dieting or struggling to like. You know, like the struggle, like the. You know, we start to attach value and good versus bad, and we attach community connection and inclusion, right and belonging into the toxicity and negativity and harm that is caused by dieting. That's, I think, where we get a lot of the. I'm a good fatty if I'm on a diet. I'm a bad fatty if I'm not right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah for sure I had something I wanted to say, and now my brain went totally blank. Nope, it's gone.

Speaker 1:

I remember it from when I was really young. It was Richard Simmons sweat into the oldies and I actually tried to reclaim that. I think it was 2021. I did a January sweat into the oldies month through TikTok, cause I was like you know what I'm going to? I'm going to this is fun, you know, and I actually did it because I was able to move my body in a fun way. But when I was forced to do it at a young age and I didn't know why and it wasn't that anyone in my family was even doing it with me my mom would watch me do it and it was just like, oh my God, like I don't want to do this kind of stuff. But as an adult I went okay, no, I, I cause I'm choosing to do it. I liked it a bit more. I still.

Speaker 2:

It's still a little triggering sometimes, cause I'm just like I know I've said this before, but it's one of those things where it's like putting kids on a diet is is so so, so, so dangerous Cause like their bodies aren't developed yet, right.

Speaker 2:

If you just teach them healthy habits. Their bodies are going to grow the way that their bodies are supposed to be and it's just going to look the way that it looks. And like I personally remember, I only remember one time where my whole family was like, yeah, we're going on a diet and I want to say that they signed up for it was like, no, that one's the shampoo. I was going to say herbal essence, but it's like that other herbal one, herbal life. I think it's herbal life. It was so, so long ago. But they were like our whole family signing up for this and we're all going to do it and as like, honestly, as a kid I didn't really think much of it because, like I could see, majority of my family was obese, like that, just that was fact, right. So it was one of those things where it's like, okay, everybody's doing it Kind of thing. But then it did become part of yo-yo dieting because nobody stuck to it and that's fine.

Speaker 2:

But now I'm a kid and it's I'm older and I have doctors telling me that it's like, oh, you need to lose weight, like you are too big, and you're still a kid and you're like, okay, well, I don't know, I can't fix that Because? And then, all of a sudden, it's on you to fix it and people are telling you that you need to fix this thing, but you don't buy your groceries, you're not in control of how you're fed, you're not in control of any of that, not until you start entering teenage hood and at that point you start feeling you have a little bit more control and your brain starts going into eating disorders. Like well, now that I have this little bit of control of myself, I'm going to start starving myself because I don't know how to take care of myself, because people are just telling me I need to lose weight and I don't know what to do. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:

The. This is the the. The conversation I don't think that doctors are ready to have yet and that is the role that diets play in the obesity epidemic and I don't like using the word obesity, I don't like that word, but I don't think that we're ready to talk about that. I don't think doctors are ready to admit the role, the very, very big role, that diets have played in the obesity epidemic, as well as eating disorders.

Speaker 2:

Totally, totally agree.

Speaker 1:

They're just quick fixes, and then it's like you gain the weight back, but they're not fixes. No, no, sorry, like like, no, like quick band-aids.

Speaker 1:

Like well to them. It's like a band-aid. It's like you're treating me like I, like I've you know like a monster, and it's just like you'll lose the weight and then you gain it back plus some. And then you lose the weight and you gain it back plus some. Your body is just like when it's yo-yoing so much it just doesn't know what to do anymore. The diet Go ahead.

Speaker 1:

Chris, I just feel like the people that played a role in making for for me to feel like a monster in this body for so long. I feel like they created a fatter version of me, because then it's just like I. I still like I remember when I was 16 and I got my own job and then, because my mom, when she became a diabetic, everything in our house just flipped with no explanation why it was just like. This is the way it is now. And then I felt so I started eating in bathrooms and hiding and eating McDonald's every day because I got it 50% off, because I worked there, you know, and I just binged and binged and because I felt like worthless you know what I mean Like 100%.

Speaker 1:

I just felt worthless. And what's the point? Everyone says I'm fat. I don't think I'm fat, but screw it then. You know, it's really freaking hard that it's just like just yeah, yeah, I can't even continue with that.

Speaker 2:

The diet industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and it's one of those things where it's if it, if the diets worked, it wouldn't be an industry. You know what I mean? Like it would. They don't want you to succeed. Because if you are succeeding, if you like let's take Weight Watchers, for example. You're doing great on Weight Watchers. You're like okay, I got control of this, I can leave you leave. You're right back where you are a year later and you go back to Weight Watchers. You always have to keep going back to them to get this dream body.

Speaker 2:

I say in quotations that you, that you want and it. And it's just one of those things where, if it worked, if it was a long-term solution, if it was something that worked, you wouldn't have to go back. You know what I mean. And that's like that. With every single diet, there's nothing that is a. This is the fix, this is how you get the desired body. And even if you look at like magazines, when you're like in the checkouts and everything, I always see the women's digest every single time where they're like I lost 50 pounds in two weeks and this is how I did it. Or the one that always got me like my entire life was the one that was like flat stomach in a month and the size of the body that I had. My stomach is probably never going to be flat, but they're targeting it to everybody without knowing what your body looks like at all. Like it's just, it's a scary, scary industry.

Speaker 3:

Even your use of the word fix right, that it's a quick fix. We're going to get fixed. The diets are going to fix us. It's going to fix us. What dehumanizing language, what insulting, dehumanizing language that a person's body needs to be fixed.

Speaker 1:

The way that I look at that, though, is that if, at the age when it started happening, when people were being like toxic to us, that at that point, like it wasn't about fixing, it's about teaching us healthy habits.

Speaker 1:

Teaching us because you're a kid, you're growing up like teaching us how, the same that you would teach anyone. It's just healthy habits moving your body, eating what you want in a portion, control, whatever. And then it's like but now the way that I would use the word fix, it's like you're to fix all the damage that has been done from toxic diet, culture and stuff. Like I want to fix my mental health now because and not believe in those things. Like still, I don't believe in toxic diets. And then, all of a sudden, something will come in my head that like, oh, if the choice is to eat McDonald's or eat nothing, I guess I should just eat nothing. And it's like no, put food in your body, you idiot. You know it's like that's when I look at fixing things. It's fixing the all the toxicity that's been built over the years.

Speaker 3:

Healing. It's almost like you're saying it's healing yeah. Yeah Right, healing with damage rather than fixing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and it's like another thing with this this obesity epidemic is that it's positioned as the responsibility of the person who's in a bigger body, as if it's your fault. You're the one causing the epidemic, you're the problem, instead of seeing people in bigger bodies as the victim of all of these systemic issues, including diacondasism, white supremacy, right Even religion plays a role, obviously, patriarchy, misogyny plays a role, and so you know, they're very, very alive and kicking systems of oppression that are causing these things, and then we are being told that it is our fault. People look at fat people as you're the epidemic. You're the one that's responsible, and to your point, christine or sorry, chris is sorry I keep seeing Lisa, and so then I'm like no, it's Chris.

Speaker 1:

Sorry, I have to sign in this hurry.

Speaker 3:

But? But you know, to your point, chris, it's something, it is something that was done to you and there is a healing that needs to happen. Because and to your point, lisa I'm just doing what I was told to do. If I was left alone at 16, just left alone I would not be the size that I am. I would not be this size, I would not have gone through a failed weight loss surgery, I would not have gone through a lifetime of hating myself and not living my life, of torturing myself with starvation diets and deprivation diets and who knows what has done to my body. Because we know that weight cycling, yo-yo dieting, leads to heart conditions, diabetes, blood pressure issues, obviously psychological issues and this whole thing of like. You know again, but 95% of diets fail and that's made out to be that the dieter is the one that failed. Yeah, no, the diet doesn't work because the body will always fight back against starvation.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Your body will do what it's designed to do, which is keep you alive. So it will change biological, like hormonal, like endocrinological, like brain function. You know, it'll change, fundamentally change the way that your body and your brain functions in order to gain weight and hold on to it, because it's a survival mechanism. There is not a single evidence-based diet out there that has long-term, lasting effects beyond a couple of years, right, definitely beyond five years. Most people, 95% of people, are heavier than when they started, right? So this whole thing of like, oh, just diet, that's not evidence-based. There is no evidence for that. So, yeah, when a doctor says to you you're unhealthy, lose weight, how? What does that mean? Yeah, and as long as we keep trying to lose weight, we're going to keep focusing on unhealthy behaviors, unhealthy lifestyles. That is just harming us, especially in the long-term.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and in the and not just the how to like. I remember asking, well, where should I be? And it's just like, well, I don't know, you just need to lose it. Like there was no end game either, Like it was just you just had to lose it. And it was like, well, how long? How long would that be the answer for Like, at what point are you supposed to be where you're supposed to be? In quotations. And then everybody follows the BMI system, which is just not an accurate system at all. Like they say like, oh, if you're athletic, you shouldn't be following the system, and it's like okay, but again, what level of athletic are we talking about too? Like it's. There's just so much question mark on that system, the fact that it wasn't even created by a real doctor, but we're still going to continue to use it. There's so like the medical field has come so far. There's so many other things that we could base our health off of. So BMI, I think, is just absolute garbage.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I don't even, honestly, I don't even engage in conversations around BMI because it's absolute bull crap. Like it's not. It's not, it's nothing. What is it? It's a measurement. It's a height to weight ratio. It means nothing. It is based on nothing. Right, I don't even like talking about it, cause it's like it's like talking about whether or not Santa closet. You know, the Santa live in this part of the North Pole, or this part as you go east to west or west to eat.

Speaker 3:

none of that matters, cause it's not real. He's not real, right, but to your point, of health, right, you know, let's talk about health promoting behaviors is if health is your goal. But also remember that health doesn't have to be your goal. You, right, like you, can choose to be healthy if you want to get healthy for you or, or you know, to whatever level of health your body and you can achieve, because not every for everyone, healthy looks very different, right, but we still don't owe it. It is very, it's very ableist and and it's a form of healthism to act as a people.

Speaker 2:

Oh, this to you, Like the idea of in like I see it all the time on TikTok. People are like well, I just care about your health, but why, Like you, you don't know who I am, you don't know who this person is at all. Why do you care about this person's health?

Speaker 3:

But that's not what they don't.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's exactly. That's exactly it. You don't I get the salmon claws on east to west or west to east.

Speaker 3:

I don't even know engage in those kinds of conversations. That's not true.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, cause that's exactly it. I just giggled to myself cause I I've met Lindsay in person and I was talking about hate comments and stuff, and when I think about hate comments or when I read them now, the only thing that comes out of my mouth is ooh, because she said she's like that's the only way I respond to them now, and so it just makes me laugh and I'm so grateful for that conversation because it makes me think of you and I'm just like, yeah, why do I care? I'm like you're the one with the issue here.

Speaker 3:

I actually have a new strategy that continues to get me engagement points. So what I do when people leave terrible comments is I get a, I go to Google and I look up fun facts and I will share fun facts. Like a draft snack is blah, blah, blah blah. I love that. The first mission to Mars blah, blah, blah. And it's so funny because they always respond like what? Like, yeah, just give me that sweet engagement, give it to me.

Speaker 2:

That's fantastic.

Speaker 1:

Oh man, I absolutely love it. Yeah, you know, I actually was wondering, because I know you do workouts on live sometimes and stuff Like do you ever use a scale, do you ever think about what your current weight is at, or anything like that?

Speaker 3:

No, there are no scales in my home. I do not. I do not, I do not. I've spent 26 years dieting and losing 100 pounds, gaining 100 pounds, losing 100 pounds, gaining 100 pounds, losing 50 pounds, gaining 30 pounds. I it was. When was it? It was the beginning of the pandemic and I was working with a holistic nutritionist to work on my gut health and I was very clear that this is not about losing weight. I want to work on my gut health and I had mentioned that I was eating some blueberries. It was blueberry season in BC. If you're from BC, you know what a special, magical time of year that is and I was talking about the blueberries I was eating and she said that eating berries triggers the body's like weight gain process or something. And I, after hearing that, I was so frustrated, so heartbroken, and I went into a binge and was eating all this junk food for like the next three days and I was like what can I swear?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, oh yeah, we're explicit what the actual fuck? Right. And then that was it. I just had this like rage boil up inside me. I am fucking done. And so I actually read the fucking diet, which I understand now.

Speaker 3:

The author has said some pretty problematic things, but at the time it was such an important book for me as it broke, helped me break down and understand diet culture, right, and the fact that we're being lied to and we're all lying to ourselves and to each other. And then I read health at every size, and again the author is problematic, but it helped me understand that just because I was fat didn't mean I was unhealthy, right, and that I could achieve whatever health looked like for me with, regardless of what I weighed. And they were two really pivotal books and helping me finally break free of dieting and diet culture and prioritize my mental and physical health and also see through the lives of diet culture, right. Oh, another great one too is fearing the black body, right, the racist roots of fat phobia, right. Yeah, deeper creepers.

Speaker 3:

Once I read that I was free free, and that doesn't mean I don't still struggle with not always liking my body or being frustrated being in a fat body. We live in an anti-fat society that is cruel to fat people and excludes us from mostly everything. Right, it's the importance of building fat community. Like, I still struggle with that and I still get frustrated. And obviously life would be easier in a skin to your body because our world is built for that, right, yeah, but I just was like I am not spending another ounce of my mental energy on diets and losing weight, and it is. It was subtle at first and now it's really obvious, like, and I'm hanging around with people who are still really steeped in diet culture. It's like, oh, I remember when every ounce of my brain was spent on that. It doesn't exist anymore. I have so much mental space to go do things and I do more because I'm not waiting to be skinny to do things Right. So no, hell, no Hard, no there being a scale in my house.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I forgot that was the original question, so invested to what you were saying.

Speaker 1:

And then you said that I was like I've gone so back and forth with the scale and stuff that you know, things kind of changed. Last October I had to go to a cardiologist appointment because I was having really bad chest pains and they just told me to go and get what was it called a stress test and like, when I went in there I started saying things like oh, you know, like being in a bigger body you know, everyone's always concerned about my heart, you know, being unhealthy and he kind of like, looked like he was, like I felt like I was being judged, but that was just my own perception. And then afterwards he was just like that's ridiculous. He's just like, for one, your heart's perfect. He's like there's nothing wrong with your heart right now, everything is great.

Speaker 1:

And there's people that come in here that are Way like half your size and like they've died, you know, and it's just like. So get that out of your head. And at that point I just went I Just need to do good things for my body. I need to put, I Need to add the things.

Speaker 1:

Well, what do we, what is it that you even say, lisa, like you know, have the stuff you want, add the things you need, or whatever you know, and it's like just being mindful of what I'm consuming, even like what I'm consuming on tiktok or consuming online, like mental health, you know, and moving my body because like that's something that I didn't do for a lot of my life, like I Do believe that I am. I believe that I'm an unhealthy fat because I went for many years not moving my body. I put a lot of alcohol and other things into my body that were not good for it. So it's like now I Am doing those things and I'm trying to Just live a healthy life without being super focused on the scale. So I do do like weigh-ins on Fridays and whatnot, but what I do before that is, I reflect on the positive things that have happened that week or the other things that I want to accomplish, and then when I look at the scale now I only look at it as how many pounds of pressure am I taking off my knees?

Speaker 1:

Because my knees have been such a problem and I don't want to have to go through knee surgery eventually which I've been told that that is a possibility and if I start taking some pressure off of my knees it can help. I can't do anything about the damage already done, but I can. So it's I like using the scale, but I do notice sometimes I can be toxic, so I have missed them because I'm like, I'm only focused on that. I feel disgusting right now and I don't want to feel worse about myself, so I won't go on at those times, but I wish I could just step away from it. But I can't help. I know I can. I just I don't want to get too exhausted.

Speaker 3:

I'm not going to lose my head, it's just just the way I think about my brain that just wants to know because, but? But wants to know what and wants to know why. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna, just I want to throw Something out there and understand. I am not a doctor, this is just things that I have read. It is to me dangerous to tell fat people that your knees are gonna be bad because of your weight, cuz that's actually not really true bad knees. There's other things.

Speaker 1:

It was just based on my injuries and like the way that, like my knee is, like the way that they were forced, like other things contribute, to do it. They did not say like, oh, because your fat, your knees are bad, exactly Right.

Speaker 3:

And there's so many things that we can do because I'm working people right now for my knee health, because I have knee injuries from playing lots of sports and just things like that and there are things that we can do to strengthen the supporting muscles and increase flexibility and blood flow and reduce inflammation. There are so many things we can do and I just I think because it's a stereotype that if you're in a bigger body, you're going to have bad knees and your bad knees are because your bigger body. And I'm not saying that to you, I'm saying that's what a lot of people believe.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 3:

And I've had people tell me that I go okay, but have you worked with somebody to help you specifically on knee pain? Because, also, sometimes it's that your hips are really tight and weak and sometimes it's because your posture and your lower back is messed up. Our bodies are so much more complicated and interconnected in the way that they function and I think that when a doctor, when you go to somebody who say your knees are sore, and a doctor says lose weight, that is lazy. There is, there are people, 100% people, and I, because I've been working to figure out my knees for so long now, like because I keep like spraining it right, have a torn meniscus, like it's just, it's like I just keep injuring my knees, and there are so many different types of people who do so many different modalities who I've discovered, like I have a really, really weak hip on my right side, like I would always get hit pain.

Speaker 3:

I thought it was because it was just like tight. She's like no, it's because you've got no strength and she would give me exercise to do is talking about Vera for flexibility. With Vera and I would do these things and I can feel it strengthening and in my work with her, I can feel how, when I walk down hills, my knees don't hurt the way they used to, and so I just want I'm not saying that that's not true for you, chris, I just want to put that out there for folks that are listening that being in a bigger body does. There's there's actual studies that show the amount of weight that you, that you carry, doesn't necessarily mean you're going to have joint pain. It's often something totally unrelated and we need to stop letting lazy ass doctors off the hook and talk to people who this is their specialty, right? But yeah, chris, you can throw your schedule, your, your scale away. You can literally do it. You can do it. When we're done, you can go throw it away.

Speaker 1:

I'll think about it. So you know, my physiotherapist actually is the best person that I've ever had dealing with my knee Nice, just the way he even talks to me. And when I actually have brought up weight he doesn't really talk about it. And he, when I really think about it, he's never brought it up himself.

Speaker 1:

And it started because I had a boot on my foot at one point, couldn't move it, and then I didn't do the proper exercises so my knee caused pain. And then now my hip and my lower back on the opposite side were hurting. And every time I talked to my buddies like, so your knee hurts because your ankle, your hip hurts because of your knee, because your ankle and your lower back hurts because of your hip and because your knee, and I'm like, oh, so now I'm doing hip flexor exercises and like things with the infinity bands and whatnot. So yeah, like doing those strength exercises. I haven't experienced knee pain in a while now and my job requires me to go up and down steps constantly, walking a lot of steps at night, and I don't experience any kind of pain anymore.

Speaker 3:

Incredible. Oh, you're totally going to crush the gross grind yeah.

Speaker 1:

I'm really, I'm really hopeful Right.

Speaker 3:

I discovered that too Well, actually I should say very discovered that we were doing. Oh, because I'm getting to a point now where I can do lunges and I haven't been able to do lunges in four years since I initially tore my meniscus discs. Like my, my joints were like big blocks of wood, like they just didn't move. And as I'm doing lunges she's like you're right ankle doesn't move, like it's not moving and like again, but like our ankles, our knees and hips, they all work together. So if any one of them is out, it's going to mess up the whole system. And yeah, to your. That's exactly it, like when you work with somebody who understands the mechanics of the bodies. No, a doctor doesn't, right, you need to go to a specialist who specializes in this. This is what they study and train and they're up on the newest science, right? So when we don't have that, not only is it lazy and making you feel bad or a person feel bad, so you get on that diet, train you're not going to be any healthier or near knees are not going to be any better, because you're still not addressing the issue right, which are weak? Weak hip flexors right, or even posture?

Speaker 3:

I've been watching some really interesting TikTok creators, like doctors and physios and things, and there's this one guy, camera his name, but he's like can I tell you something? You're posture doesn't matter, it's not, it doesn't matter. Sitting crooked like this in a chair doesn't matter, it just doesn't. You know that. He's like here's the things that matter, right. And so this is where this is where we then get into. People aren't moving their bodies because there's shame attached to movement, because you only move to lose weight, and so if you have a quote unquote, bad food day you know what?

Speaker 3:

I mean, or you're in a binge cycle or you're not dieting, then you don't exercise, you don't move your body, and then that's causing pain, that's causing issues, but then you blame it on your weight. But the truth is, it's just that you're not moving your body. Moving your body leads to less pain. Not moving your body leads to more pain. There are so many very fat athletes who are doing incredible things.

Speaker 2:

Right, let's, let's talk about how it's Sunday and I remember I don't. I don't remember what video it was. I say I remember that I only remember, but there was a video, oh it was. It was because of it was because of my name, because my name is fat and fit. Mom, and people are like you can't be fat and fit. And I'm like, let's talk about football, because I'm going to tell you that 75% of NFL players are obese and you will put money on those people and call them athletes and wear their jerseys and worship them. But, heaven forbid, a woman calls herself fat and fit and because I have fat on my body, I cannot be fit. Yeah, they can go fuck themselves, yep.

Speaker 3:

Yep, it's, that's what gets me through, like when I'm having a, when I'm having a self conscious or a low self esteem day, and I think, oh, if I was skinny, think of the athlete I would be right Like never back then, when you were skinny and fit, lindsay, what if you could be that again? And then I think of, like all the fat athletes that I know, especially fat women or femme presenting athletes right. Then I'm like no, because look at how much they're lifting, look at what they're doing with their bodies and, honestly, between you, me and the listeners, if you're a fat body and doing this, you're already stronger than a person in a straight size body.

Speaker 2:

Oh, yeah, I've already like that is the biggest. One of my biggest piece of advice is when people come to me because I vote very much about how much I love the gym and people are like, what's your biggest like advice or your biggest tip? And mine is always, always, always, when you're going to do your leg work, to workouts, you can do more than you think you can. Yeah, because like, if, like, let's say me, I'm over 300 pounds, right, so let's just use 300 pounds as the as the start there, if you're about to go do the leg press, you've been carrying at least 150 pounds on your upper body for a while, so this is your first time going to the gym.

Speaker 2:

Start at whatever half your body weight is, because I guarantee you can do that, but you're scared, so you're probably going to put it at like 2550, like you're, you're nervous, like no, you are a beast with your legs. Like go high because what's the worst? That's gonna happen. You try, you can't do it, that's fine, lower it, but like it's better to go lower than it is to try and keep it. Go up because you're not going to do as much as you think you can. You can do so much and you don't realize it.

Speaker 3:

It always reminds me of like people, like beginner workouts, and they'll be like oh, I'm using like a five pound weight and now eight pound weight. I'm like I bet your purse weighs more than that. Like the grocery bags you hauled in weighed more than that. Like I think there's this weird thing that happens and we don't think about functional strength and how much we're lifting, and that that thing of laundry that you brought to your room to fold was more than that.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and so we can do so much more than we think if we just I don't know get out of our that fear right, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And when you apply those things at home afterwards, like I love the feeling of feeling strong. So like when I started like lifting more and like I did assisted pull ups the other day and it just made me feel like a freaking beast. So now when I come home for the groceries it's like carry this case of water in, that's fine. I don't think my husband to do this.

Speaker 3:

I think one of the coolest examples of this for me was when it was ages ago and I went up to the Yukon and I went dog sledding and because we were, there was two of us per sled, so one person would be riding and one person person would be inside and we would, you know, rotate on and off. But at that time there was a dog sled race happening and so when racers would come, we'd have to hop out, pull our our, our sleds off of the side and sit with the dogs to keep everybody calm while the racers went by. And so I was constantly having my arms on the side of the sled, popping out, popping in, popping out, popping in. I was like, oh, I'm so strong that's been like maybe 230 at the time and just like the speed with which I could, my upper body could lift me in and out. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Christy we're gonna say. I think that, honestly, something that I experienced was people should try and hire a kinesiologist over a personal trainer, because when I was so I started, I started a weight loss journey in January of 2020. And I got down to my lowest, which I think it was like 83 pounds lost, and at the time, my focus was actually the pounds of pressure I was taking off my knees because I had a freshly torn ACL, meniscus and yeah, and I was off work for a long time. So I'm in my head, it was like if I can take off more weight, it's gonna get me back to work sooner. It wasn't until.

Speaker 1:

My work was like, you know, we're gonna have to switch you departments if you can't get back to work within two years, so we're gonna set you up with a kinesiologist. And it was just functional workout, so like it was. Even, you know, in football, when they tackle the things, they're pushing them down the field. It was like that that I had in my hands and I was just sliding it along the floors. And then there was other things like based on what I do for work Sorry, this is a side note so like for work, I'm not gonna. I'm gonna take that out later.

Speaker 2:

She doesn't advertise that yeah.

Speaker 1:

Then there was like they only had me doing like the bicycle for 10 minutes, and then it was floor exercises and then, yeah, they want me to do lat pull downs, but don't do more than 10. And they had me standing on like those half balls that are stabilized so that you can get both of those.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and then even the ones that look like a, like a skateboard that's just has a middle thing. And it was all these things that I'm like. They actually helped me with all my muscles and my growth and actually even still helped me lose weight at the time. And it wasn't going to the gym for two hours and doing 45 minutes on the elliptical or or whatnot, it was just functional exercises that you can do in your everyday life that were still making me sweat, you know.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think people really they don't understand the difference of like working out and just moving your body. Like if you just go for a walk in the day, like it's totally okay. I personally go to the gym like I don't associate going to the gym with my weight loss goals at all, like that's not. I never associate the two. Like I never have the thought of I had a donut last night. I should probably do an extra 20 minutes on the treadmill. Or I know I'm going to have this big dinner later. I should probably do this extra time here. Like I never do that. My goals at the gym are always like I want to feel strong, like I last week, my one day I lifted 9800 pounds in my one workout session. Like I was like, oh my god, I'm such a fucking beast. Like it, that's the feeling that I want to go for, and if that doesn't get you excited, that's okay.

Speaker 2:

You don't have to go to the gym. You like that is not something that you have to do in your life. If you're not interested in going to the gym, if you're not interested in lifting weights, if that's not something that excites you, don't spend money on that. Don't do that. No one should be making you do that. If someone's saying you just need to get a little more physical activity in your life, go for a walk, that's totally fine. At home workouts totally fine. Stand up, sit down on your couch, that's still movement, like it's literally just moving your body. That should be promoted. It doesn't have to be go to the gym.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it doesn't, and it doesn't have to be like a set amount of time and a set I think it's really important to think about what are my goals in this movement?

Speaker 3:

Like, if your goal is, I want to have fun, I want to forget about the world, I want to be in my body and I want to have fun. Well, one of my favorite go tos that I always recommend is Sharona's Hill. She is these really fun little walking dance workouts that are one song, two songs, you know, and to pop like popular music or movies or soundtracks or things like. Just throw that on. If you're like I'm feeling really tight and I feel like when I get up and I'm off the couch I just feel stiff and tight. Well, great, go check out some of the people who work on flexibility and mobility, because that incorporates both stretching and strength training, right.

Speaker 3:

Because, I learned this when I started working with Flex with Vera. I thought it was going to be a lot of stretching. Apparently, the way you get more flexible is develop strength. So no, that's not true. However, oh my gosh, we were doing something the other day. I was wearing a tank top and I was like look at my shoulders, I'm so jacked. It's all the like dolphin taps and bear crawls and things right. So it is. It's more than just saying go to the treadmill, lift weights, go home. It's like why are you moving your body? What do you wanna do and what do you want that to look like and make it work for you? And there is tons of free stuff on YouTube Tons.

Speaker 1:

Oh, so much. So that's like. I sent Lisa a text last week I think it was, where I said I'm starting to hate the gym, I don't think I can go to it anymore because and the reason I'm feeling that way is you're actually making me realize it right now, lisa, while you were talking Okay. So I kept saying like, oh, it's just because I just don't like working out and staring at a wall. It's actually because when I'm at the gym, I'm focused on weight loss 100%, because I'm seeing okay, so I'm gonna do this for half an hour in this. And how many calories did I burn every time when?

Speaker 3:

I did the girl's grind.

Speaker 1:

Not once did I think about how many calories did I burn? And my one love is hiking, walking, and I never think about it during that time and I've even become toxic with the Ramsettis. Like what's going on with you? Why do you keep standing up?

Speaker 2:

I'm like I must close all my rings and I laugh because Chris and I are doing a competition with our rings. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And it's raining outside. I don't wanna go for a walk today, but yeah. So the gym, I find, makes me toxic and I've started to feel that way and I'm only going. So, anyway, I have a gym buddy at work and we don't work on Fridays together, and so on Friday I went all right, you have time, okay, go up to the gym. And I sat in the locker room and stared at the locker for half an hour because I'm like I don't want to go. So then I waited until my next break. And then I said walk around the yard then. And so I did. And I did a three kilometer walk around and I said I feel great, and it took me half an hour and I didn't hate anything about that walk, it was great.

Speaker 1:

So when I'm walking I've said I'm listening to podcasts or I'm thinking about things I need to accomplish or the next great idea I want to have of doing something creative, like and it's helping mentally when I'm in the gym I'm staring at the wall going. I have 26 minutes, I have 25 minutes. How many calories.

Speaker 3:

Okay, if.

Speaker 1:

I. Maybe, if I think about this, the next two minutes will go by faster. Oh, it's only been 30 seconds, like all I'm thinking of when I'm on it, and it's awful.

Speaker 3:

Well, and you want to know what's really going to blow your mind. Two things. Number one the studies have well shown that the calories they tell you that you're burning or a lie or a complete lie if they're way overestimating. And also studies have shown that the calories that you use up during exercise don't actually result in weight loss. The body just overcompensates.

Speaker 1:

So I know it's not factual information but my brain just wants to know Like it's like. But if you make it hit 600 calories, you've accomplished something.

Speaker 3:

But this is where we have to be mindful of our thoughts, right Like. This was one of the things that was the most freeing for me was going oh, exercise doesn't lead to weight loss, and so I was able to separate movement from weight loss culture. You're right. Although, to be fair, for me, I love fitness, I love movement, I love sports, I love athletics. I always have. So I've not really had necessarily a toxic relationship with movement, but I have had a toxic relationship with if I eat a donut, I must exercise, right Like there.

Speaker 3:

But there's that thing. And then when you, when I understood that it's not even based in science, who said this? Cause, it's not true. Calories and calories out is a lie. That is literally not the way our bodies work. And so it's like, when you can separate that, you can see how, oh, I can have a relationship with movement, even if I'm still working on my relationship with food. I can have a relationship with movement and it becomes my relationship, because none of it matters other than how you want to feel and what you're gonna do to feel a certain way through movement, because it's not gonna result in you burning off that donut you ate, it's not gonna result in weight loss. In fact, studies have shown for most I'll say, women, using that phrase generally speaking that we actually gain weight when we start working out, because the body wants to eat more, and so we naturally eat more calories.

Speaker 3:

Cause our body is like you must replenish the calories. Why? Because the body doesn't want to starve.

Speaker 1:

I know it seems like a reward based. But the thing that actually got me into the house yesterday was I told Rams I'm really tired on the weekends, how we're using Uber and it's actually more of a financial thing where I'm like I'm sick of like paying for the tip and the delivery fee and all that. So I said I'm going out like Saturdays I never move my body because I'm so tired from work. But yesterday I woke up and I said I'm going for a walk right now. I'm picking us up subway on the way home. Like what do you want? So then it was. I made sure I did my walk round back and grab the subway and like in my brain I'm like, did you just reward yourself for going on a walk? I'm like no, the mission was to get the subway. Just, it just took me longer to get here.

Speaker 2:

Honestly, while I was on Matleve, like cause Chris, I've talked about this a hundred times on here I fucking hate cardio, like I hate cardio. I do five minutes of cardio at the gym for my warmup because just to get my blood pumping and my heart pumping, that's it Like. After that I'm tapping out. I am fucking done with cardio for the day. I'm hitting the weights after that. But when I was on Matleve, I wasn't going to the gym at that time but I still wanted to move my body. So I was like, okay, you can get Tim Hortons, but we're going to walk there and get Tim Hortons. So I would walk a kilometer there and a kilometer back just to get Tim Hortons. I don't care if it was a reward system, I really don't. I moved my body and I got a Blackberry Yuzu for it and it was fine.

Speaker 2:

And then I was like you know what? There is a Starbucks about two and a half kilometers away. I bet I could reach that one, but it was a Starbucks that was in a grocery store. And then when I got there they didn't use stars and I'm like this was the most useless walk I've ever been on in my life. And then the stupid part was I had to fucking walk back home and my daughter was with me in the stroller, which was whatever. So I grabbed the like three groceries I needed and now I'm trying to walk back.

Speaker 2:

I'm going through a parking lot where there's absolutely no trees, because it's a parking lot Middle of the summer, sun beaten down. I feel like I'm walking across a desert, and my plan was to go to the sidewalk instead of the drive or the parking lot this time, because there was some little bits of shade there. But my daughter dropped her goddamn hat on the way to the grocery store somewhere in the desert, so I had to walk through it again to try and find her. It was a bad experience. I did not walk back to the Starbucks again, just to clarify. I did find that I was sweating man Like I got back, and my mom's like are you okay? And I'm like I've died. I have died, I am not worth it.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I'm so done with cardio and I'm so sane. Is there any? Maybe I'm wrong, but we can attach a reward to working out. I'm fine with it.

Speaker 2:

I'm down for it.

Speaker 3:

I'm okay with saying well after I work out, I'm gonna get a. What did you call it? Who's now what you got there?

Speaker 2:

Oh, it was the Blackberry Yuzu. It was like their sparkling beverage drink that they came out with, like last summer, the summer before.

Speaker 1:

It's delicious, I think it's cause like there was even a part of me at one point like that it would. It's a fine line for me, cause it can turn toxic where it's just like. Then it becomes a oh well, I went and got the donut. I actually should go for a longer walk than if I'm gonna eat that. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

So that's where I find this Double-edged sword kind of thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, like, but you know, if it's a okay, well I'm gonna like I did like I'm gonna go to Subway, but I'm gonna take the extra long way to get there. Like, literally it's across the streets, I walk the opposite direction. And then I'm like where am I Actually? At one point, though, I realized so I take Osempic for my type two diabetes. I've been on it since 2020. It's not. It's not even about weight loss for me. I've told everyone I gained 50 pounds on Osempic, Like it is possible if you binge enough.

Speaker 1:

On my walk, I realized I hadn't eaten, so I was up on the corner after going like really hard, I was sweating and I just started retching cause I was like I wanted to be sick, and then I'm like all right, you know you did something wrong here, so at that point I took it at a slower pace than to get over there, but it was just water. I'm so bad at remembering to hydrate myself, and I feel like that's the one thing I really need to work on in my life right now.

Speaker 2:

We say it all the time all the time we need to hydrate. You got your big bottle right beside ya. I do. This is a lie, though it wasn't full full, it was only up to here today. But that's because like so, this is, this is the you know the cliche four liter, one gallon jug. But I don't fill it up all the way because I drink a liter and a half while I'm at the gym. So it's like for me to then finish this like it's too much. I know it's too much, so I aim like three to four liters is what I aim for. So I usually will drink just over half of this through the day and then had my liter and half while I'm at the gym, kind of thing.

Speaker 3:

I just learned, too, the importance of sipping water throughout the day, not taking a big, because it like if you drink too much at once, the kidneys never can only filter out. No bladder Anyways. Basically, you just pee it out, for the body can absorb it and put it to work, because it's too much right, but I do have to say I'm 100% gonna get Subway for dinner.

Speaker 3:

I don't have groceries and I'm very hungry After our chat I'm going to and the Subway for me is only down the hill one block Like it's like it's gonna take me two minutes to walk One block. I am not gonna go the long way. I'm going to go get it. My question is what's your favorite sub? What's your go to sub?

Speaker 2:

Oh, okay, if we're talking because hold on, there's Subway, there's Firehouse, there's Mr Sub, like we got different levels here. But if we are talking strictly Subway, my new favorite one right now is not on the menu. You actually can't order it on Uber Eats and you can't order it through Skip or any of the delivery services. You have to go and get it. I get the chicken chicken. So their breaded chicken sub, fresh mozzarella and the meatball marinara sauce. That's right, it's a chicken parm sub. Yeah, chicken parm. Yeah, yes, it's so. I add a little bit of the garlic mayo that they have there, a little bit of onion, a little bit of parm. Get them to not bake. What's the toasted? Thank you, it's amazing, it's so good. It is by far my favorite. It's very filling, though, like if you're usually someone who can like, if you get a cold cut. That's a 12 inch. I highly recommend only getting a six inch because it is. It fills you fast between the cheese and the chicken.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Chris, two different ones at Subway either the steak mushroom well melt with extra cheese, lightly toasted lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, barbecue sauce, or the rotisserie chicken, but you have to add the avocado to it, lightly toasted, but then with that one add banana peppers.

Speaker 2:

It's really good.

Speaker 1:

Banana peppers are good, but however just to let you know, Lindsay, there is a firehouse subs. Yeah, what is firehouse? Yeah, it's great.

Speaker 2:

Be so careful because it's amazing and addictive and it's way better than Subway.

Speaker 1:

We just got it like three months ago in Delta. They are gonna open one up near Renfrew Sky train station within a few months. It's a little bit expensive, but their brisket cheddar I have tried another one. I had to have had the turkey club too. That is good, but the brisket cheddar it's just so good.

Speaker 2:

However, it's watering.

Speaker 1:

I know I'm so hungry here you have to ask for more sauce because you know in Ontario they drench it in barbecue sauce. Here they don't Like it was a little dry, but it was still good, right. However, big Star sandwich is one of my favorites. I don't know if you've ever had it, lindsay. There's one not too far for me. I think there's one in New West, but they have some of the most amazing slow roasted beef I've ever had in my life.

Speaker 3:

There was back in the day when I lived in Ontario. I had a very short stint in Atobico and I lived in one of those houses the little apartments that are above all the stores, and there was this deli and they baked their own bread and cured and cooked their own meats and they were not usually open to the public because they were more of a catering company, but every once in a while you'd catch them and they'd be open and they had this thing called I think it was called the hot pig or something like that. It was all these different pork-based meats and their bread and like To this day I dream of that sandwich, like it was.

Speaker 2:

So good, but what does your go-to Subway sub?

Speaker 3:

Usually it will be steak and cheese or, if I'm feeling spicy, it'll be tuna fish. I saw somewhere that someone said that's not even tuna fish. But listen, I have a fact check that I don't care, it's going to happen, it's good, it's just good, Like when people are like hot dogs isn't meat.

Speaker 2:

Listen, cut up hot dogs and craft dinner will still be one of my favorite foods I don't care Do you put? Peas in yours. I also put in like I hate peas, like in life in general, peas are no, yeah, I'm supposed to Great source of protein, or not?

Speaker 3:

Or not just great, but a good source of protein too. But yeah, give me the cut up. But also, I don't like craft dinner. It has to be the no-name present, that's fair.

Speaker 1:

I find craft dinner bitter, you know tuna subs are really good, but I will have them only on the times when I'm actually craving pickles on something. I don't put pickles on anything, anything. But randomly I'll crave a pickle and I'm like I'm going to get a tuna sub with pickles on them.

Speaker 1:

But I love pickled beets. That's my favorite thing to have on a sandwich. On a sandwich Pickles. The same way I feel about milk. I don't drink milk and then all of a sudden I could go stand over there and drink a whole liter in one gulp, like randomly. But I hate milk.

Speaker 3:

Interesting. I wonder if that's because they say I love it. Can you tell we're doing this podcast recording at like dinner time, yeah, anyway. But they say that when the body is craving something, it's because it needs something. I remember in one of the books I was reading it was talking about if you're craving chips, it's probably because your body needs salt, like there's something about it. And this kind of leads into the whole intuitive eating conversation, which is like tuning into what your body is asking for, giving it and then stopping when your body's like I'm good, right, is that?

Speaker 1:

where you get vitamin D from is milk as well. Is that where you get, or is that just calcium? That's calcium, oh yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think it has vitamin D, but it's not like a source of vitamin D.

Speaker 1:

I'm like because I'm extremely deficient in it. So I was like maybe that's why. But I don't know, it's just really random, but normally I'll only crave to down it if it's the one from Costco, because it's from Island Farms and it's the best Nice.

Speaker 3:

Nice. The other day I ordered a bubble tea and I only drank it and didn't have the bubbles and I was like next time I'm just going to get a chocolate milk, because I did. I forgot to come back and drink the bubbles. I was busy and I was like the next day I was like the bubbles are still in my cup, like I don't trust it now. But you know what I want to say. This is the fun thing that has happened since releasing, vilifying or sanctifying food and getting out of diet culture is the joy I have found in eating and having fun and not making anyone food mean anything good or bad.

Speaker 2:

That's so important.

Speaker 3:

Like I just love eating and food is so good, and it could be a Cheeto, or it could be like the fanciest salad on the planet, I don't care, food is good and if I don't like it, I'm not going to eat it, and if I do like it, I am.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, actually that was something when Lindsay and I met up actually for food. It was just nice to sit around people where we're just like, yeah, we're going to get two different things, and it was like we're not. There was just no questioning of anything and it was like I didn't feel like, oh well, she got a salad, should I get? You know, there was nothing like that and it just felt nice, whereas times that I've eaten with other people it's like I wonder how many calories is in that, or maybe.

Speaker 1:

I should ask them for it without the gravy or whatnot, and? It's just nice, you know, just live. Yeah, yeah, I know.

Speaker 2:

I'm around other people who are also in the weight loss mentality and there's so many times I know we're like we'll go out to eat as a group and I'm like, yeah, I'm going to get this. And it's like, are you sure you want to get that? I know you're trying to watch your weight and I don't want to get that because I'm trying to watch this. And it's like, yeah, I'm going to get this Because and you know I'm open about it on my TikTok I am somebody who's trying to lose weight but it's like I work it in my budget. I don't say no to foods. There's nothing that is off the table for diet purposes.

Speaker 2:

You know, what I mean. It's like, if I want to eat the spaghetti, I'm going to eat the spaghetti and I'm not going to feel guilty for eating it. I'm going to enjoy it, because that's the point of making this meal.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm counting calories right now Because in my relationship with food it helps me to count calories to, but I don't look at them and go, oh well, I'm not going to add the slice of cheese because that's going to make me go over. To be quite honest, my deficit that I put myself in is a comfortable deficit for me. It told me it wanted me like maybe a couple hundred more, and I'm like, but I'm not comfortable with that. So I put it where I feel OK with. But yesterday I actually went over it by 1,000. And I didn't even think twice about it. I didn't because I'm like that one day isn't going to hurt me and if it happens again today, it's not going to be the. I'm not going to die. It's not the end of the world.

Speaker 1:

So do I try to stay within the calorie deficit, the calories that I've allotted myself? Yeah, and normally I can. But it's just a measurement to know where I am, and it's been super helpful. I really do like it. And if I lose weight, I lose weight. If I don't, well then I'm in the body I'm supposed to be in.

Speaker 3:

So I think it helps you feel, if it helps you feel like you're supporting yourself in a way that feels good for you, then again, everyone I'm going to always say do it feels good for you. I forget I think it was a maintenance phase podcast and they were talking about the science of calories and versus calories out and why that's bunk Right, same with things like the glycemic index. Why that's bunk? And it's because there's so many more functions happening in the body. For example, if you eat when you're stressed out, you are more likely to store those calories versus if you eat when you're not stressed out, you are more likely to like the body will use those calories, burn them up. So the way that our body uses calories is not like this whole thermodynamic. That's just not the way it works. So you extra eating an extra 1,000 calories for one day probably does absolutely nothing For me.

Speaker 3:

I'm really starting to trust myself in the intuitive eating and I'm very much a let's start with a foundation of vegetables and fruits and foods that I know are going to support me, because I eat for my ADHD, I eat for my bipolar, I eat for my anxiety, I eat for my mental health.

Speaker 3:

So I eat what I know is going to support me. And also, I just learned this on TikTok I don't know if anyone else has seen this but neurodiversion brains tend to be heavier, meatier brains and we require more glucose. And so that's why when we're getting a hot brain after a busy day and we feel like we're craving sugar, yeah, because our body needs glucose, right. So now that I understand that rather than like that's why I'll get a bubble tea when it's been a big day and I'm like I just need some sugar. But now it's like, give me an apple and peanut butter, because I know at the end of the day, I won't be so high in sugar that it disrupts my ability to focus, right. So I kind of look at it from that perspective what is going on in my brain and in my body right now and how can I best support it? And at the same time, I had a brownie for lunch, like I'm also not.

Speaker 3:

I'm not attaching guilt or meaning to food. I'm just I'm eating and I'm thinking about how will this best support what I need to get done today?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I definitely understood both perspectives of this too, because, lindsay, you were saying how, with the calories in and calories out, I actually, the way I had calculated mine at the start of the year, I didn't recalculate them with how much I had been pushing myself at the gym and I actually wasn't eating enough.

Speaker 2:

So I wasn't, the scale wasn't moving and when I was watching it I was like what's going on?

Speaker 2:

Well, I'm not fueling my body at all, to the point that I should have been fueling my body for the amount of movement that I had started incorporating in my body.

Speaker 2:

But to Chris's point as well, this kind of ties back into what I said at the beginning when you haven't been taught how you should be eating and that's on both spectrums, if you went to the point of well, now I'm starving myself because I've been told my whole life I'm fat and I don't know how to control it versus well, now I have access to all of this food and I've been restraining myself for so long now I'm going to binge all the time. Either way, on both sides of the spectrum. You don't know where you should be because you haven't been properly taught what a proper eating day through life is. So when I feel like counting calories for me is kind of like that support blanket I wanna say in quotations where it's, I know I need to be in this amount in order to have a healthy lifestyle and not be in binge mode and not be in starvation mode, but I'm still going to have the foods that I enjoy within that budget and that's my perspective on it anyways.

Speaker 1:

Like counting calories has helped me actually in both ways. It's not just making sure I'm staying in a deficit because of ozimpyx. Sometimes I have days where I actually forget to eat and counting the calories makes me go. Hey, you can't really survive on only that 600 calories you only had today. You need to go put something in your body.

Speaker 1:

Unfortunately, I did something extremely toxic on Friday and I kicked myself in the butt for it. But I had a smoothie before I went to work and I didn't have enough time to make myself lunch or dinner to bring to work and I was like I'll pick something up on the way. But traffic got in the way and I almost didn't get to work on time. So I'm like, okay, I'll go somewhere on my break. My break came, it didn't work out. So I went to the vending machine and it's just chips and chocolate and everything and I was like God damn it. So I saw that there was a pack of almonds. I grabbed out the pack of almonds and it's like there's 300 calories in this one pack. I'm like in almonds, I'm like I could have gone and got a freaking McDouble and then and that was the problem was that I was trying to not go to the only fast foods that were around me, because now at this time the grocery stores were closed. And then I'm like Katie's almonds will be fine, you can just survive on that. And I was like no, you can't do that. And I just kept going back and forth. And then I put it into my fitness pile. I'm like, hey, you can't do that.

Speaker 1:

Still got to the end of my shift and at that point I started adding things to my McDelivery app. But I was going in for pickup and I was adding and then all of a sudden I'm at four burgers I've put in, because now I'm in binge mode, because I went so long without eating and it's just like in the end I ended up putting it in my fitness pile and putting what I was planning on ordering through my fitness pile helped me lower, because did I need four burgers at four in the morning? No, I did not, like one would have been sufficient to help me. But my brain was in 100% binge mode. So it helped me know that I needed to put more calories in, but then it also helped me going. You don't need that, you don't need to go too crazy with it, because just because you're in that mode now.

Speaker 3:

It could feel safe.

Speaker 1:

But, man, like afterwards, once I got home and then I started eating at McDonald's, I went don't you ever do this again. Like you, go get that McDouble instead of those damn almonds, if that's what you're doing, because, also, I'm walking so much at work. Like I said, I didn't go to the gym but I ended up going for a walk on my break instead. I can't. It's like trying to start a car with no gas in it. It was not fair to myself to have done that and it was so bad. And so, like I said, lisa and I have been doing this for years now and yet still those times of toxicity are still gonna come out. I know better than that, but it's still gonna happen. Because someone that day called me fat or someone that day said something about, and you're just like yeah, I am, I need to lose weight.

Speaker 3:

Well, and we can even reframe that from toxicity to go, I didn't give myself enough time to prepare myself enough food, and so today I'm gonna do this, but tomorrow I'm gonna make sure I do this right, like I think even to say it's toxic. Well, why do we have to attach judgment? Why can't we say I'm having a burger today because I didn't prepare food, it's fine, it's gonna maybe lower my energy, it maybe won't feel the best, but we have to remember that we are hardwired to go for the most calories with the lowest amount of risk and effort. That is the way our brains are hardwired. So of course it's gonna go for four burgers because for you it's low risk, it's low energy and you're gonna get that calorie refill.

Speaker 3:

We have to stop internalizing it as a personal failure when our bodies are like eat, eat now, eat all the food, because that, first of all, is what chronic dieting does to our brains, right, but also that is an evolutionary imperative to not starve, right? So when we say things like toxic and binge and we put this punishment on us and this judgment instead of going, I kind of did not do good self-care today. All right, what do I need now? And then what can I do tomorrow to make sure that I have food? Or can I get Uber Eats and order something that is more balanced in the way that I wanna eat before I get to the point of starvation? Right, but none of that can happen if we're still blaming ourselves and beating ourselves up. We have to learn to get neutral. We have to learn to get neutral.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

What are some of the books that you've read?

Speaker 1:

About like in life.

Speaker 3:

Like. Have you read the Fuck A Diet?

Speaker 2:

No I haven't read many self-help books.

Speaker 1:

I don't like self-help books.

Speaker 3:

It's not about it being a self-help book. It's about understanding and shifting your perspective around diet culture. Literally, the tagline is eating should be easy. If nothing else it's called the Fuck it Diet. If nothing else, I recommend you start that. The reason is is that when we understand the way diet culture works, we start to be able to release the internalized component of it and get more neutral, get more free around this Ram's just brought me. Yum. I know we need to be wrapping up soon because my stomach I'm like I can feel what's up.

Speaker 3:

I'm like I need to go get my stuff.

Speaker 2:

I was gonna say it too, because I have to go to the gym at three in the morning and it's already 8.30.

Speaker 1:

Awesome. Well, I really hope that you join us again. Lindsay, Could you let everyone know your socials and where to find you?

Speaker 3:

Yes, you can follow me. I'm most active on TikTok at Fantastical Fatty, but you can also find me on Instagram and even on YouTube. I have a podcast called Fantastical Fatty where you can listen and watch on YouTube as well Awesome.

Speaker 2:

Oh, real quick. We were going to start up this today as well. This is so. I was starting these on TikTok, but I was like let's bring them over to the podcast. This is called Listen Bitch. These are aggressive affirmations, so we usually post the episode starting at the beginning of the week-ish, so I am just going to shuffle one up and then we are going to have our aggressive affirmation for the week.

Speaker 3:

I mean I use the F-bomb when talking about blueberries. So I mean, if I'm not aggressive, I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 2:

All right. So here is our affirmation for this week. Listen, bitch, don't take anyone's shit. You are to be respected, always Love it.

Speaker 3:

Nice. I feel like that's appropriate for what we talked about today 100% the cards.

Speaker 2:

We're listening.

Speaker 1:

I just I really loved you being on here. I'm so thankful and it has helped me think of some things I need to maybe adjust my perspective of too. You know, just, I'm going to look at the scale, maybe throw it away. They may be in storage.

Speaker 3:

I'll put it in storage. That's first step. That's the first step. I love it. You know what? This is why we talk about these things and we're always saying things to each other that make us pause and go oh, even if it's what someone said to us, or it's hearing what we said to someone else and be like whoa, where'd that come from? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Awesome.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for joining.

Speaker 3:

Yes, this has been great, thank you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, no-transcript.