The Weighting Room Podcast
The Weighting Room Podcast
AITA for telling my overweight friend to stop acting like a victim?
Ever found yourself in a hilariously awkward dating scenario or dealing with the emotional fallout from a night of peach schnapps-fueled antics? This episode is an emotional rollercoaster that tackles those moments head-on. From childhood fights defending our loved ones to adult confrontations where alcohol plays a leading role, we share stories that are equally heartfelt and humorous. Our journey takes a poignant turn as we grapple with grief and the powerful emotions that surface when revisiting painful memories.
Imagine arriving at a restaurant to see your date finishing a full meal before you've even ordered. We unpack this bizarre "Am I the Asshole?" situation, dissecting dating etiquette and offering plenty of laughs along the way. Beyond the chuckles, we dive into how unresolved trauma can manifest in social behaviors, adding a layer of depth to our lighthearted banter. Plus, we have a riotous time discussing gummy candies, the aging process, and the dreaded hangovers that come with it.
Ever tried chicken crust pizza? Or debated the appropriateness of weight and career advice at work? We explore these topics and more, sharing personal anecdotes and creative culinary tips. We address the complexities of friendship strained by weight issues, touching on the emotional toll it takes on all involved. Wrapping up, we emphasize the critical need for mental health support and the importance of offering genuine help to those struggling. So grab your favorite snack, settle in, and join us for an episode filled with laughter, introspection, and a touch of culinary creativity.
Do you have a story you would like to share? Send it to us at theweightingroompc@gmail.com
Disclaimer: We are not Medical professionals and all views and opinions are our own.
what's up, lisa? How's it going? Motherfucker, I'm leaving that in. I know your dad's so proud yeah, I never hit anybody.
Speaker 2:Actually, that's not true. I never hit anybody. After getting that speech that I just talked about, slash talked about the last episode that you heard that, um, I did hit somebody once and that was because I was a child and they were bad talking my grandma um, I only actually remember one fight, and it wasn't even about me I was defending a friend.
Speaker 2:It was a pretty bad fight, like yeah, there's definitely like there were definitely people in my life that I would be like when I got older, like I just never did. I wasn't that person, you know, but there are definitely people that I could have fought and I would have won.
Speaker 1:I talk a big game. I'm not really like that much of a fighter. I can, I will.
Speaker 2:In my early 20s if I was drinking peach schnapps I'd fight anybody. I was playing Tribon with a group of friends this was our first friend-mas that we ever did and it was like a group of us and everybody was split up into teams and I had been drinking peach schnapps and me and my husband and another buddy of ours we were all on the same team and like I kept getting the vibe that the two of them kept talking and I made like a subtle jab about how like they're not including me in. And then the next round comes around and I knew the answer and I didn't say anything. And brandon turns and he's like well, what do you think, babe? And I lost my shit. Like I just was like it's probably that I just like went ape shit on them because I was so mad that they never turned to me for advice. And everybody's like oh, it's like cut her off I can't drink hard liquor.
Speaker 1:Um, I used to drink it all the time, like I. I used to bring a bottle of 151 to parties and have a great night.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I used to drink hard you said it was a great night, but how was the morning? Oh fine man I didn't have hangovers you just scared the shit out of me, just so you know, because I went to look at something on my phone and all of a sudden there was a face in the reflection of my phone and I'm like what the fuck? It's you? It's your face upside down in my phone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, hard liquor makes me either do one of two things I'll either fight you or I will cry and there's no consoling me. And if you don't want to fight me, I'll cry. And if you fight me, I'll cry. So you're crying. Yeah, pretty much like I will, like I will probably fight you before I cry normally. But the last time I drank hard liquor like excessively was when I came home in November of 2014 uh, after my brother had passed away and I was still in Australia, and my friend brought me. We went to a Motley Crew concert and then we went to the Funky Winkerbeens I love that name uh, down on Hastings afterwards to watch some shows, and I went. I was just I and you know what. What didn't help was to get to the concert. We drove by where my brother had taken his life and I was like this is an indication to me, right then, hey, this is evening's not gonna go well and I had just learned as well what had happened to him.
Speaker 1:So anyway, um, I might have drank a couple more times after that, but nothing ever was good. And um, beer makes me calm a little, but I can excessively drink, and wine makes me a slut so I just don't really drink.
Speaker 2:Let's be honest wine makes everybody a slut and also on wine.
Speaker 1:There's just like this line that it I cross it so fast and then I'm crying. I, I, I think I have too much trauma that I have like unresolved trauma in my life that alcohol brings it and then you cross the line. You're like I'm too slutty I'm having such a good time I'm having too much of a good time. Everybody's just so happy. Oh my god. Yeah, I've cried about stuff like that too so true.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, I'm awful we don't condone drinking no don't do it seriously. We're in our 30s.
Speaker 1:The hangover that you get, oh no, just said listen, we're in our 30s.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not I'm gonna cry get the one. Oh yeah, leave that in, let's get into this. I have an. Am I the asshole here? And this am I the asshole? Doesn't have to do with the gym, doesn't have to do with being fat, but it has to do with dating etiquette. Okay, am I the asshole for eating before my date arrived to the restaurant?
Speaker 1:no wait, did you eat at the restaurant? I have too many questions already, so for context, I'm I have a sugar high, by the way. Is this gonna get?
Speaker 2:hell, episode one. Chris ate a buttload of gummy um not gum from seven.
Speaker 1:They were gummies.
Speaker 2:They're not edible, I know, but when I say gummies I'm saying oh my goodness, they were gummies, though they all think we're drunk and high now and we're neither of those things. I just finished drinking a tea.
Speaker 1:They definitely don't think I'm not crying yet. Oh my god okay.
Speaker 2:So am I the asshole for eating before my date arrived to the restaurant? So, for context, I am not a foodie. I eat to get full and not as an experience. I'll often eat at home before. I will often eat at home before dinner outings, just because I don't want to wait, or and rather enjoy my experience of the outing, which for me doesn't involve the eating portion but does involve watching my date messily eat while I stare silently.
Speaker 1:OK, I don't want to eat with you.
Speaker 2:I met this girl online. I met this girl online and we agreed on meeting at a restaurant for dinner to get to know each other a little bit more. Fast forward to the day of our date and we agreed to meet at 9 pm. Now my day was super busy with work and I didn't get to eat lunch and it was almost 5 pm and I'm starving. So I get ready and head to the date, still having no food.
Speaker 2:I like getting to a date early so I can check out the environment, pick the best seats and just prepare in general. So I arrive about three and a half hours early, this time, still starving. I decided I should eat and get that out of the way or I'll be hungry and cranky, having to wait another few hours or so before I can eat. I finished my meal and ordered a second dinner and three or four cocktails. By the time I'm done and I have finished my third dessert, my date is almost arriving.
Speaker 2:She gets to the restaurant and we click instantly. She's smiling and we're having a great conversation. She's touching my hand, I'm using I'm using mirroring and the same repetition to build the bond. It's, oh, it's going extremely well. Eventually, she asks if I would like to go order some food, to which I respond thank you, I'm not hungry. And she insists, saying that she doesn't want to eat alone. But I tell her don't worry and eat, and that I'm enjoying my yard. Marg, it's a yard of margarita, so we call the waiter he's already had four drinks I know right.
Speaker 2:So it's all the foodie ain't. Yeah, I was just gonna say that.
Speaker 1:Call the waiter over. He's already had four drinks. I know right, it's all the food he ate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was just going to say that we call the waiter over and she starts asking him for recommendations, to which he responds with no ill intentions that it seemed I really enjoyed the tacos than the 20 ounce steak and lobster, so maybe she should try them. At this point she's confused and asks what does that mean? So I told her I ate some tacos and a steak or two before she arrived. A steak or two. How much fucking money do you have to order two steaks, lobsters and tacos and three?
Speaker 1:desserts, yeah also. Wow, I'm impressed too, like great job makes us still want to have a date after that. I'd be like no, where's the couch, bro? Yeah.
Speaker 2:I explained to her that my goal was to get to know her and that the eating portion wasn't important except for watching her do it with my hands on my lap. Regardless, the whole mood changed. She ordered some food, food ate and made an excuse to have to leave about some weirdo she just met recently who creeped her the fuck out. I don't know why she'd be talking about another guy on a date. Pretty rude, oh my god.
Speaker 2:Just talking about you guy I haven't heard from her since, and that was the last and that was last night. So am I the asshole?
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah, isn't that weird? Like okay, listen, is there any like clarification afterwards? Is this person like are they awkward and social?
Speaker 2:there's nothing.
Speaker 1:There's nothing why are you showing up four hours early for one and also you should. Just, I didn't know. You know what, you don't you? You know there's so many thoughts happening at once. You have to stop going out to restaurants with your dates.
Speaker 2:That was my first thought. Like if, but then, at the same time, like they mentioned multiple times how they want to watch the other person eat. So I'm like is this a thing, that thing that you have, but like that's a thing that you need to have a conversation with them about, if that's like a kink for you, like you know what I mean, like I'm not king shaming, but you need to be open with them and find enjoyment from food that they like.
Speaker 1:Watching other people enjoy it. Like I can kind of actually understand that a little bit, but um no, I don't understand it at all. Uh, this is so fucking weird and you should not be going to restaurants I think, right, you should let them know that on the first date and then see if they want to go eat with you the next day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like food. Shouldn't be what you're doing as your date. There's so many other things that, if you just want to get to know them, go for a walk.
Speaker 1:Also, I knew he was problematic from the beginning. When he said he's not a foodie, I was like no. Next, like what do you mean? I can't understand how there's people that don't understand how we can eat so much. How there's people that don't understand how we can eat so much. I can't understand people like my brother that only eat to satisfy the fact, like to fuel themselves. They only eat what they require. And I'm like how and like I just don't get it. How do you not enjoy what you're eating? I don't get it. How do you not enjoy what you're eating? I don't know it's and like my other thing. Sorry, those type of people I can see being able to stand things like Weight Watchers because they will eat the food that tastes like cardboard, because they don't care, they're just fueling themselves. Yeah, I feel those companies can make so much money off those people, but it's like no, it has to be. I just don't get it.
Speaker 2:The other question I have about this, too, is how they're saying like I would usually eat before going out to events because I just want to be at the event, but like on a date you're going to have like four courses and three desserts before the date shows up, but that is the event like other events.
Speaker 1:A wedding, okay, there's dancing, they're socializing. A dinner date. There's only one thing happening other than like conversing, I guess, but like it's not an event, you're going to a restaurant, that's the, that's, that's it yeah you're going on a date to eat and my thing dates to coffee shops or bowling alleys or arcades. Oh, there's an arcade in downtown vancouver I'm dying to go to. It's like retro, looks really cool sorry, random.
Speaker 2:No, that's fine. No, it's all good, but yeah, there's so many other things that you could do instead of going on a food date if you're not down you know, no I don't know what I'm actually gonna say.
Speaker 1:No hate to anyone out there. That's not a foodie. If you're listening to us and you're not, who do you? How are you enjoying the podcast so far? Are you understanding when we're drooling over pizza?
Speaker 2:oh man, that's been a long time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we don't think about that anymore, except the chicken chicken crust pizza. It has changed my fucking life.
Speaker 2:I do want to try the chicken crust pizza, but I'm not putting it like with pizza toppings, so I'm calling it a chicken crust flat bake Dude.
Speaker 1:you should just even cut it in half once it's baked, or like shape it into something different. You don't even have to shape it into a circle, then it just doesn't become that you can shape it into a damn triangle, if you want and have a giant potato chip oh my god, that would be so cool to shape it like a tortilla, tortilla, tortilla. Oh my god, to shape it like that and then put like taco toppings you know what's crazy is?
Speaker 1:you're talking nachos, but tostitos are usually round yeah, I'm talking one nacho that I'm talking about the, the triangle ones not doritos. The plain ones, the tortillas I get what you're saying.
Speaker 2:I'm picking up what you're laying down.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm trying to say. I can't get my words out anyway. Chicken crust, pizza and everyone out there. If I haven't talked about it before, one one can of chicken drained with Costco chicken yeah. Costco tickets. Seriously, when that chicken came out of the can, I'm like oh, it's actual chunks of chicken, Whereas the one that I bought from the other grocery store it was just one solid piece that then I would flake up and I did not like the smell of that one.
Speaker 2:I am very sensitive to smells and it's different portions as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's more in the Costco one there is, and I just found that this crust was even better. I really enjoyed the Costco one, but it is six cans for $21. But that seems expensive. But you'd spend like 20 bucks on two pizza crusts. You know, probably I don't even know. I don't know how much the shit costs anymore.
Speaker 1:You use a can of Costco chicken, you drain it, you put a quarter cup of Parmesan cheese I use that stuff out of the shaker, like the kind that you'd see on a table at a pizza or Italian restaurant One egg and then you can put whatever seasoning you want. I put salt pepper garlic egg and then you can put whatever seasoning you want. I put salt pepper, garlic powder, thyme, oregano into it and then you put it on a baking sheet with parchment paper, spread it out to whatever shape you want pretty thin, just don't have holes in it and then you bake it for 40 minutes at 400, take it out, put whatever toppings you want on. If, like if you're doing the big mac pizza, you just throw the toppings on, you don't have to put it back in. But I did pesto and some mozzarella, put it under the broiler for two minutes and then took it back out and put other stuff on top of it. It was so good I'm literally just gonna even make the chicken crust and cut it into chip shapes and then sounds great.
Speaker 2:Um, I did a new drink today. I know you saw it. Um, oh yeah, instead of the dr pepper zero and the coconut syrup and the half a premier shake, I did a can of pineapple, uh, sparkling water and the coconut and the half a premier shake. It was so good, it tasted great. I need to try that. It was good. I want, but now that so I've been wanting to try, like with orange pop, right, to do like an orange creamsicle kind of drink, but I I don't. In Canada there's like no diet orange anywhere. I can't find diet orange pop anywhere. Um, so when I saw the pineapple water, I was like I'm going to try that because I know I like the pineapple water in general. So if I don't like it mixed with the stuff that, I can at least still drink that. And then I was like, if it's good, then I will get some of the orange soda water and have it with my french vanilla flavoring. Um, and I did like it.
Speaker 1:So I'm gonna have to get orange soda water next someone's video that I did come across I might have sent it to you did a drink similar to yours. I think it was dr pepper in it or it was something else, and then they put like sugar-free cherry, sugar-free vanilla and then like just sweet cream or something on it. So I'm like, not not a protein drink, but they. I was like, wow, everyone's doing this. I have to try. I'm gonna go and get the coconut syrup and and everything else I need and I have to try this. Uh, I have not tried those alani fruity cereal drinks yet, but I really want to use it to make a strawberry pudding because I have strawberry packets.
Speaker 2:I think that'll be good nice anyway, you have the name of the asshole yes, uh, I have.
Speaker 1:these are ones like. I haven't read them, so let's just read it. Okay, am I the asshole for advising my co-er to lose weight if she wants better career prospects? Yeah, they must work at a strip club. Let's just say To work at a strip club, I think they're misogynistic.
Speaker 2:There aren't they. Wow.
Speaker 1:Okay, I 29 male, of course you are.
Speaker 2:Work in marketing.
Speaker 1:I'm just kidding, male, of course you are. Uh, work in marketing, which is a job where your appearance can really affect your perception by clients and higher-ups. There's a woman in my office I'll call her sarah who's a 27 female there is no other way to put it. She is quite overweight. I have observed that she doesn't seem to be taken as seriously as the other employees. I have seen clients and higher-ups show more engagement when interacting with the slimmer employees and that during meetings, when she shares ideas or suggestions, her ideas are often overlooked or dismissed more frequently compared to others.
Speaker 1:The other day we were both in the break room and she was complaining about not getting the promotion she was hoping for. I hinted to her that maybe losing some weight would improve her chances. She was shocked and got angry at me no shit, telling me I was nasty and insensitive. I told her that I had nothing against her and that I was just trying to help her out with some feedback. I like Sarah and I think she's very good at her job. I just think losing weight would be good for her. Since then, she's been avoiding me and a couple of other co-workers have hinted that my comment was out of line. I was in no way intending to offend her. I was just trying to give her some friendly advice. Am I the asshole for advisingah to lose weight if she wants better career prospects?
Speaker 2:yes, that's just like. Maybe just the other ideas were better.
Speaker 1:Maybe it wasn't how she looks, maybe you are way into your looks red reddit thinks like every single comment is you're the asshole and like you're the asshole for someone in marketing.
Speaker 2:You clearly have zero social skills all right, so I'm going to do this one. Am I the asshole for telling my obese dad he needs to lose some weight if he wants to see his grandkids? Oh, some context. Why is there so much context? They have to justify their behaviors. So what you're saying is, as soon as it says, some context, you're already the asshole. Some context.
Speaker 2:My girlfriend, 23 female, and I, 28 male, have been together for five years, but we don't plan on getting married. We simply don't believe in the institution and feel like our feelings for one another are all that matters. We also don't plan on having kids for now, or at least not in the next five years. On the other hand, my parents are very conservative. They insist on us getting married yeah, they insist on us getting married and keep asking when I will gift them with grandkids. My father is 63 and he weighs 340 pounds. Two years ago, he suffered a heart attack that the doctors believe was at least partially caused by his obesity. They told him that he needs to seriously reevaluate his life and dietary choices. The problem is that my dad hasn't changed his habits at all. My mom keeps cooking him fried bacon, pancakes and other unhealthy foods every day. I have brought this up with him multiple times pancakes and other unhealthy foods every day. I have brought this up with him multiple times, but he keeps telling me that I have nothing to worry about.
Speaker 2:Last weekend, my girlfriend and I went to visit my parents for dinner. My mother wasn't in the mood for cooking, so we ordered pizza instead. As we were eating, my dad brought up the topic of kids again, I got frustrated and that's when I told him dad, as I told you multiple times, we don't plan on having kids in the next few years. So if you really want to live to see your grandkids, you need to start eating healthier and lose some weight. Sorry, I'm laughing because I just saw his face shock. There was a period of silence, after which my dad started shouting at me and told us to leave his house. I think I may have hurt his feelings, but I have tried explaining this politely to him multiple times and he doesn't get it. Am I the asshole?
Speaker 1:yes, wild to even make him feel bad about oh, you're not gonna see your grandkids unless you lose weight. Like. Not like threatening you have to lose weight, but it's just like you're gonna like telling your dad you're gonna die before I ever have kids the guilt that you're putting on to them and from a younger person too, like in a younger generation. Like it, just it's. I have no words like that is just awful I.
Speaker 2:I will say I get the health perspective of it.
Speaker 1:I understand what they're saying you don't say it though yes, you can feel that way. All that you fucking want, but you just gave an an ultimatum, pretty much in a weird way it's not even an ultimatum, but it's just like, yeah, you know what man like this is where it comes into.
Speaker 1:Like when lisa and I started posting on tiktok, we weren't posting for anyone. People were just like motivated from what we were posting and whatever, and like you'd hear that all the time you want your dad to live to see your grandkid. If you actually cared, or their grandkid you actually cared for that. Rather than making them feel bad, lead by example. Invite him on walks with you. If you live in the same area, you know like I don't know if, if let's just say, if you're coming from somewhere that has a bit of extra disposable income, set him up on a meal plan thing it also feels like I was just gonna touch base on the meal plan thing too, because it said like his mom made all that stuff.
Speaker 2:So it feels like it's not just it's not just that, it's the support too right. Like if, if the mom doesn't want those things, if the mom's not going to change her lifestyle, then he can't change his lifestyle, like you know what I mean. Like it sounds like he very much depends on what it is that his wife is making and if she doesn't change the lifestyle, he's not changing his lifestyle. Yeah, and that's exactly like.
Speaker 1:So, like you and brandon, like, for example, you will share in on the cooking and stuff in our home. I am the primary one that likes to cook because I like doing it, and so rams, his dietary, whatever it all relies on what I'm cooking. He doesn't do that. So it's like like let's say I'm doing like what's right for me, but maybe it's not right for him, you know, and it's just like. Anyway, rams and I have had have had an open discussion the last week about that. We need to change things and we are making it effective as of tomorrow, even though I've been implementing changes already.
Speaker 1:But, like we both know, we have to stop feeding off each other we have to stop being like let's order pizza because the other person is just going to be like hell, yeah, because the other person wants it. Whichever way that we're, we're going and we've done that a lot, so we've just made it a promise to each other that we're like we're just going to keep each other on track, like yes, did we get candy today? Am I having a complete sugar high? Yes, I'm just doing it because I know that, like as of tomorrow, I'm trying to just lower my consumption of sugar.
Speaker 1:I know it's so backwards. It makes me feel better. You know like to be. Like, oh, I could just start today. And like I don't have to over consume on the sugar today. I can have little bits of sugar every day, like I know that, but I actually want to live a life of no added sugar. So I'm just doing it right now and I'm hoping that tomorrow will be different. I think I'm just laughing because I think that history tells us that's not gonna happen.
Speaker 2:But I mean, I'm hopeful. Honestly, when it came to me and the pizza, like I couldn't do a. I didn't do a. This is my last time I'm going to have pizza. You know what I mean. Like when I decided I was going to quit eating pizza. It was I had pizza on May 11th, whatever year. That was 20, 20, 23. And um, I had pizza that night and the next day I just wanted pizza again.
Speaker 2:Like my head was just like I want more, I want more, I want more. And it was just like why do I do that? And so I was just like I'm done, I have to stop now. So I didn't give my. I'm going to have this one last time so that I can fully enjoy it and so that I may be like you know what I mean, but I just I didn't let myself have that because I knew it wasn't going to be the last. If I did it and it's like I just had it yesterday, how is it going to taste different? It's the exact same thing that you always have. So that was the perspective that I'm not saying you're wrong.
Speaker 1:I don't want to. No, no, no. I totally get what you're saying. I want to do that. I and and hit. Like I was just saying, history has taught me that doing it this way doesn't. I honestly think that I'm justifying and I was literally using it as a excuse slash reason to just have a bunch of sugar today.
Speaker 1:I was really craving it and whatnot, and Rams went and got it for me and I'm just like you know what, like we have like other plans and it's like we're just having that kind of like snuggle in our sweater, like movie night kind of vibes and yeah, anyway it's. That's not an everyday thing, but Rams and I have gone excessive with the King can regular Pepsi's, like we'll have one we don't have that every day, but like he'll go to the store get it and if not, that we're getting a Slurpee. So just my sugar consumption has been so out of control recently and I know I need to get a grasp on it and telling myself I'm having one last day. It actually really helped when I did that, when I found out I had diabetes and yes, I'm still living with diabetes and I'm talking about eating sugar. But that's the whole point is that I know it's out of control and I know, even though my blood glucose has stayed relatively really good, um, I just uh, yeah, anyway, I'm trying to just live a life of no added sugar.
Speaker 1:I bought my stevia for my coffees now so hopefully that helps.
Speaker 2:I hate fake sugar uh, do you want to?
Speaker 1:do one more. Do you want to do one or do you want me to do one?
Speaker 2:I did too.
Speaker 1:So you go? Okay, didn't I just? Uh, whatever, I guess we'll find out when I got it. Uh, okay, am I the asshole for telling my overweight friend to stop acting like a victim about her weight? So I, 23 female, have a best friend, 22 female, jen, who I've been friends with since the third grade. Jen has always been a bit overweight, but in recent years she's put on a lot of weight. She's five, four and 300. I have never once throughout our friendship made comments about her weight or treated her differently.
Speaker 1:In the past year I noticed Jen bringing up her weight more often in conversation. We went on a road trip once with a few of our friends and she seemed to want people to insult her during the trip. During one of our longer drives she ate the majority of our road trip food, but no one honestly cared until she brought it up. Jen said I'm so fat, I ate so much of wait. Jen said I'm so fat I ate so much when our other friend, may, spent so much time preparing it. Our other friend, may spent so much time preparing it. May just said no worries, the food was made to be eaten. I added yeah, we were only an hour away. Now it's no big deal.
Speaker 1:She brought it up a few more times on the drive and we all just brushed it off, told her it wasn't a big deal. Little instances like this started happening more often and I honestly felt like I needed to walk on eggshells whenever we hung out. It was almost like she wanted me to slip up and say something fatphobic. At this point, 90% of our conversations had become about people bullying her because of her weight. Recently, jen told me her doctor prescribed her Ozempic for weight loss. She told me she was worried about what others would think and I told her that she doesn't have to tell anyone. That's so true.
Speaker 1:That's so true everyone out there know that you don't have to tell a damn soul. A week later, jen tells me she told a few friends about ozempic and that one of them was being judgmental because they asked if the injections were working. Jen was crying when she told me and I tried to be sympathetic. But she literally blabs about all her personal issues to everyone and this wouldn't have happened if she kept her medical issues private. Jen tells everyone about the antidepressants she's using, how she struggles with her eating. Jen tells everyone about the antidepressants she's using, how she struggles with her eating, depression, anxiety, etc. I used to think that she only told me, but she has literally been venting to everyone.
Speaker 1:During one of our conversations Jen was bad-mouthing one of our friends, emma, because Emma said, according to Jen, it's hard for me to gain weight. I kind of snapped at her. Jen said that Emma was being fat phobic. I'm also close with Emma and I know the struggles with a metabolic disorder. I told Jen that everyone has their own issues and the world doesn't revolve around her weight. I don't know why, but I read that really weird. But it's like their friend Emma has problems with weight. Did that make sense?
Speaker 2:Like she has problems.
Speaker 1:Yeah, with gaining weight. Okay, sorry, I feel like I'm reading it kind of weird, but I just anyway. No, no, it made sense, okay. I then brought up the instance of our road trip and told jen that she was almost instigating a problem when there wasn't one. I then told her to stop acting like a victim when she has several close friends who love her regardless, and that I was tired of walking on eggshells around her. Jen started crying, told me that I was just as superficially judgmental as people who bullied her for her weight, and that she never wants to speak to me again. Am I the asshole?
Speaker 2:I feel like she's got something bigger going on that she's not talking about. You know what I mean. I feel like a lot of the time and this isn't all the time like I'm I'm an open book on a lot, but like there's a lot of the time where people talk about other problems so that the big issue is not apparent.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean and I think the way that she's acting on things makes it seem like there's something else going on if she's not usually like this, but she's just started acting this way. That was the vibe I was getting at the start. There's something else going on that she's not talking about. Is the vibe I'm getting?
Speaker 1:yeah, so there's even like there's a lot of they like reply to a lot of comments and stuff and I noticed that one person said that sounds exhausting. It's clear Jen wants some sort of validation. That she's not getting and she doesn't know how to ask for it. Unfortunately, she can't rely on you to read her mind. But making everything about her weight, she's creating a self-fulfilling prophecy that all people see her as her weight. Hopefully she's. She is able to hear the message behind your frustration and reflect that maybe her behavior needs to change a little. You're not the asshole. Um, the person replied.
Speaker 1:The op replied saying I partly think she feels lonely or left out because she lacks validation from men. She has never had a boyfriend before or any semblance of a romantic relationship. She has said to me before that if she ever loses weight, men will like her, but that she knows she will lose her female friends because they will now see her as competition. I hope you're right. It's been about a week and I don't know if I want to reach out or if I should wait on her to reach out first.
Speaker 1:It's like I was scared there at the beginning because it's like that when, like skinny people are like, oh, they're just jealous and like they just like it's all about men. But it's the fact that she said it to her which is like and I can understand that, because there was a time in my life I also like felt so ugly and like it was what society was telling me that I literally slept with everyone. If someone showed attention to me, I slept with them and, um, it's, it's just, it's sad, like this person if it's just coming on, they are insecure right now and I think it's awful that people are suggesting they walk that this, the op, walks away from her and like people are like why are you, her friend? Like you shouldn't be putting. You should make sure that jen's getting mental health help, because yeah, she's going down a spiral.
Speaker 1:It also, the way it's written, sounds like she's online. Like all of us online have gotten very used to talking about anything and everything and nothing's a secret, and we're open because it makes other people feel less alone. The people in real life are not as open and they're like hush, hush. And why do you talk about things like that?
Speaker 1:it's very different worlds so it's like if it's just coming on, maybe it's because that person has been spending a lot of time online, you know, and then in the real world it's not the same thing like me and you talk about our weight all the time on this podcast on, like not all the time on tiktok. It used to be a lot on this all the time.
Speaker 1:I don't think we really talk about that when we're in person like ever like we're like maybe like we'll talk about the podcast a little bit, but it's not about that, that's not about our friendship, you know. Anyway it's. She needs mental health help, like, and to raise her self-confidence yeah I agree there you go yay I I still think that this person is like a little bit of a, just like a little bit, because I just feel like they're like turning their back on her pretty fast rather than recognizing there's a problem yeah, I feel like they just don't know what to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah reach out for help, yeah anyway, well, this was fun well I just ate more candy I'm gonna go crash in bed because it's 10 to 10 and I'm exhausted and I want to go to the gym in the morning still daylight.
Speaker 1:What are you talking about? All right till next time yeah, bye, yay.
Speaker 2:If people haven't listened to the original episodes, they don't know why I say yay they'll notice that you do it every time, though yeah well, there you go.