The Weighting Room Podcast
The Weighting Room Podcast
AITA For telling my husband he and his mother ruined our wedding day for me?
Ever found yourself debating the true villain in those endless "Am I the Asshole?" threads? We kick off our latest episode with some cheeky banter about those oft-repeated tales, while eagerly anticipating a night filled with pizza and a witchy bar visit. As we chat about our love for quirky collectibles like rhinestone-studded tumblers and Halloween goodies, we ponder the portrayal of body image in these online stories. Join us as we consider fresh, diverse topics to spice up future episodes, all while planning a virtual Sims escape post-recording.
Family disputes and festive plans blend seamlessly as we tackle a Reddit post about a mother's concerns over her teen daughter's home attire. With Christmas-themed photo sessions on our minds, we examine the nuances of comfort, modesty, and the generational differences in familial relationships. From themed aprons to the dynamics of age-gap couples, we mix holiday cheer with an exploration of personal comfort within the family home.
As the episode unfolds, nostalgia takes the stage with a sweet journey through the world of Girl Guide cookies, stirring memories of mint chocolate ice cream. We then navigate the tricky terrain of inheritance with a heartfelt discussion on a deceased mother's engagement ring. Balancing respect for the deceased with the needs of the living, we also touch on broader themes of body image, self-acceptance, and the intoxicating allure of going viral. Whether it's TikTok mysteries or complex family dynamics, our chat is a lively blend of food, feelings, and festivities.
The Latin Minute is your new favorite bilingual comedy podcast. Latinos living in SW Fl
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Disclaimer: We are not Medical professionals and all views and opinions are our own.
um, anyways, hi, chris, I have my food on the way here, um just as an fyi, so I might have to disappear um just to grab that. And then I was just gonna you know. Oh good, what did you get? We ordered pizza, yeah that's cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm pretty good about it.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, I. I think I'm at a point now where it's like it's food. So yeah, that's my plan for this evening. I also have a bottle of wine in the fridge oh, I'm drinking a chai latte.
Speaker 2:Oh, I really like your mug thing. Not, that's not a mug. What is that and where did it come from? What the hell is that? I want it this is.
Speaker 1:This is a tumbler for everybody at home who can't see. It is black and pink rhinestones and it has the scream face mask and it says killing it in pink on the side.
Speaker 2:I don't even like pink that I've been using. Tell me where to go to get it. Is it has is is it from a long time ago?
Speaker 1:no, it is from the start of september on at spirit halloween. Good luck, emma, and I got the last two why do you always find like okay, lisa.
Speaker 2:Oh, friends, when you see the cool shit, you send me a message.
Speaker 1:I have the cool shit, and I haven't sent you a message because I knew we were gonna come on and talk. Guess what I fucking found out is in town what a witch bar. Yeah, no way. Yeah, that's so. Guess where we're going when you're here in november?
Speaker 2:yeah, um nice, uh, sorry, I just remembered something else that someone told me do you like nightmare before christmas? I've never seen it. How are we friends?
Speaker 1:I know the silence right now speaks volumes, you guys.
Speaker 2:Well, anyway, for anyone out there, that's really excited. Apparently Costco has Nightmare Before Christmas squishmallows that are big and we might be going to Costco tomorrow Be really cool to see all those squishmallows. No, he's not even looking at me, but yeah, I'm. Oh, he heard, but yeah, I'm very excited to go see if those exist still. But I'm, I gotta, just I gotta figure out when everyone launches halloween stuff, because I am. So I was just editing, it's already 50 off at michael's.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, I was editing the podcast that's coming out the one that I'm behind on and it's like the whole entire beginning of that conversation was just talking about that mug. Why am I so behind?
Speaker 1:I was so mad last year I reached out to the person on facebook to see if they still had it. After I reached out to them, they then raised their price and I was like, yeah, I'm still, I'm still interested.
Speaker 2:They sold it to somebody else well, I mean like honestly, though, thank you so much for trying. I like like wow, I was really laying on that guilt thick there, right no, I tried I put in. I appreciate that, that's so I put in like level c, effort like I don't know what my hair is doing this. This is weird.
Speaker 1:It's like Princess Leia on top vibes. You know what I mean. That came off sounding like really dirty. It's like Princess Leia's buns, but only one on the top.
Speaker 2:Her buns.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, Anyways.
Speaker 2:So we're here for Am I the Asshole? But do you know what I'm so sick of?
Speaker 1:am I the assholes? Is this a segue into a new thing kind?
Speaker 2:of. Okay, I am really sick of trying to find fat stories, because they all revolve on other people making fat people feel like shit. Sure, and you know we've said so many stories and there I think a lot of them were great and we tried to have a balance, but at this point there's so few to find, yeah, so I think that you and I should just go and grab what I've done so far as I found to, just from, like the title, where I'm like you know what? I think you're an asshole or whatever. Like whatever my decision was and when you're actually looking for, am I the asshole? I'm on a whole thing, that's just. These are from today, like these people have just posted them today and I think maybe that might be fun.
Speaker 1:Let's listen to the ones that you have, because I'm for it. I'm for it, let's just.
Speaker 2:I mean we're fat girl therapy, but the am I. The asshole is just you and I having an opinion about other people's lives Really.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, fat girls judging, that's what that segment is.
Speaker 2:We need balance. We bitch about things on fat girl therapy and then we bitch about assholes on. Am I the assholes?
Speaker 1:Totally, totally. You know what I'm for it, let's do it. I don't have any, so let's listen to what you got. And then, because I messaged you and I was like let's do this and you're like OK, and then I put in zero effort because I was, I had a busy day. But just so everybody else at home knows, we are literally recording this and then playing sims after.
Speaker 2:So I'm down for chill vibes.
Speaker 1:Awesome, uh, let me find them okay oh, you know what I may need to just like. Complete side note completely we. So we just went apple picking with harper, right, and we were just taking pictures on my iphone and everything. We want to do a photo thing with harper for our christmas photos this year and we were saying that we should just like on a saturday, like we're just gonna wear black and then get red and green aprons and bake cookies and then just take pictures and selfies like that. But you're gonna be here in November and, let's be honest, you'll take the best pictures because you and I both, like, are on our phones doing that shit all the time. So we should do that when you're here. Yes, for sure, plus you get to eat my gingerbread cookies.
Speaker 2:Yes, um, there's like those. You know what would be so much fun. We should find some recipes of things to do while we're together, like those protein carrot cake balls. Oh yeah, we should.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love carrot cake, me too.
Speaker 2:Carrot cake is my favorite carrot cake and I love carrot cake and I forget how much I love carrot cake until I see it.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure part of me is just like an 80 year old woman because, like, carrot cake is my favorite cake and oatmeal raisin cookies are my favorite cookies do you know, when I was a teenager, I never used to say mom.
Speaker 2:I used to say I can't wait to be a grandma, and then it's like I don't care about being mom yeah, all of that, I just want to be the grandma, oh man, okay all right, what do you? So the first one is am I the asshole for disagreeing with my husband regarding how our daughter dresses? This is from Silverton. It was only posted seven hours ago, so there's no rating on Reddit right now. Oh, no rating at all. No just comments.
Speaker 1:We're just fresh off the press. Yeah, all right, let's give it our rating.
Speaker 2:All right, I have the press, yeah, all right, let's give it our rating. All right? I have been married to my husband for 17 wonderful years and we have four children three daughters who are 17, 15 and 10, and a wonderful son of 13. My husband is 36 and I am 45. My husband and I have been getting into arguments over how our 17 year old daughter dresses.
Speaker 2:She has a. She has rather large breasts for her age. She has started going braless when home. I'm no prude, but she should definitely wear a bra. They are very noticeable. They are very noticeable see, I'm just messing up already. This is not the one. They are very noticeable and move a lot when she isn't wearing a bra, especially when she wears those revealing short tops. I also have problems with her wearing revealing clothes, especially those tiny pants. But the main issue is her going braless when home.
Speaker 2:I tried to find agreement with my husband so that we could be a unified front, but he disagrees. He's very much a when home wear whatever is comfortable type. He also does this. When I told him that I don't have a problem with comfortable clothes, they should be modest he stared at me like I was an idiot and said she wasn't going around the house topless and what she's wearing wasn't immodest. She wasn't going around the house topless and what she's wearing wasn't immodest. Knowing that I have had numerous arguments with our 17 year old and that our relationship has become somewhat strained, he warned that she's almost 18 and that I should work to improve our relationship.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I'm salivating a lot I think it's the time he said that my relationship with our 15 year old daughter also isn't the best, which is true unfortunately. In my frustration, I made a remark that doesn't matter because both of our older daughters like him better than me anyway. So it doesn't matter. I regret saying this, but I can't help thinking that it's true. When discussing important things or even secrets, they go to their dad. I do have a far better relationship with our son because our daughters, even our 10 year old, are rebellious and my husband knows how to deal with this better than me. I wasn't able to apologize because my husband took our 15 year old to tennis practice and I started my difficult dinner preparations. After dinner, my husband apologized for being irritable during our discussion due to health issues he's been having. He did say I should let this go and make up with our daughter. There's nothing at the end, but I'm gonna just say am I the asshole?
Speaker 1:oh man. Um, I'm gonna say, yes, you are the asshole personally, because, like you're in your own home, you should be able to be comfortable in your own home and it sounds like you're making it a very not comfortable environment for people. You know what I mean? That's the vibe I'm also getting. Also, I would just like to point out did you say that they were married for 17 years and she's 34?
Speaker 2:he's 36, she's 45, she's 45, yeah, and their partner is 36 and they've been married for 17 years.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so they were 19 when they got married wow, yeah, how long were they dating.
Speaker 2:For how long are they dating? For, and they're like that, much older I have been married to my husband for 17 wonderful years. Huh, she's nine years older than him yeah, that's a.
Speaker 1:That's a thing on its own, but anyways, anyways. I did not even clock that. I mean like at the same time, like that old, like the older generation.
Speaker 2:I want to say the older generation.
Speaker 1:I want to say that older generation, but that's like my generation now.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Anyways, there's a whole background there.
Speaker 2:I can't stop thinking about that right now, like that's, like I didn't even. Yeah, I was going to say that this person sounds like a semi-aware narcissist Because, like being aware, meaning when they said, he said my relationship with our 15 year old daughter also isn't the best, which is true, unfortunately. So they're aware that their relationship isn't good, but really not aware that you're the problem.
Speaker 2:I'm like I'm sorry like I get your child has big breasts but you want that child to wear a bra in their own home, like until they go to bed. Like bras are uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:When you have large boobs, they're even more uncomfortable I think, see, and that's what makes me think that it is a woman that's posting it, because it's like jealous of her boobs. I don't, I don't know if it's a, I don't know if it's like a jealousy of how they look, thing, as much as it is a jealousy of their confidence thing but see, now I'm even wondering at the fact that, like the eldest daughters, at the age the husband was, when they probably met, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like now that you said that it has me thinking of this like she's upset that she's not that age anymore and she's like nine years older than him I was.
Speaker 1:I was borderline thinking that too, because when they were saying like my husband thinks it's like whatever, and I was like, oh, are we touching into creepy territory here? But I feel like there wasn't really anything else in there that made it. Yeah, no, like that, they're a bad person, yeah not at all.
Speaker 2:Like I don't think creepy behavior. I think the the the OP might like there's a possibility here, like just from what I'm reading into it, the way that they're writing, is that like there's a possibility like of that, that unfortunate, sometimes situation where a mother can feel competitive with their daughter yeah, so it just kind of feels that way because it's like no one should care what they're wearing while they're at home, like unless, like, there's guests. Then maybe you could write a a thing like this yeah um I don't know.
Speaker 1:At the end of the day, like it's not your body, so like even if she gets to the point that she doesn't want to wear a bra in public, like it's not really your decision. You know what I mean. As long as it's not like if you're not a minor and your tits are out, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like yeah, like people in the comments are like why are you even staring at your daughter's tits anyway?
Speaker 1:like yeah the fuck, but that's my thought, right? It's kind of just one of those things, oh and then there you go info.
Speaker 2:What the heck is a 28 year old doing marrying a 19 year old. And then someone's like ew.
Speaker 1:I just noticed this she prayed on her husband and is now telling her children their natural bodies are immodest yeah, I mean don't get me wrong, I know a lot of people who do have that like distant age thing, and it works out. You know what I mean. Like I'm not I'm not saying that this is the situation all the time, but I feel like there's just more here and it sounds like most people are also assuming that this is a female. It just doesn't seem like a, like a. I don't know, maybe that's super judging there, but I feel like, if it's a gay couple they don't give a shit about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, like I totally get what you mean and also, yeah, the another comment says you're the asshole. Your daughter wants to be comfortable in her home and you are making her uncomfortable. Stop looking at your daughter's breast. Your husband is absolutely correct here. And how on earth did that age gap happen? Red flags, very much indicative of your need to be in control, I suspect. Oh God, like I am so like I feel dirty now having brought this story.
Speaker 1:Like.
Speaker 2:I did not, even I went by the title. Okay, next story we have to move on, but we are dubbing this person as the asshole yeah, yes, and also I maybe this is like a really bad thing to do me not reading. I need a girl guide cookie, actually are they the mint ones? Are they out? Now I need to get some I bought five boxes, but I only took two. I said can you give me a little free away?
Speaker 1:oh, you should have nailed them to me, I love. Next time I see them I'll send you some I'll bring some with me yes, for everyone. I'll let you know if I find some lisa november I'm so freaking excited. Literally one month from today, she will be landing in my area I'm so happy.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry to eat this in front of you because, like I know, you like mint chocolate.
Speaker 1:I'm literally going to be eating pizza in front of you, so it's fine. Oh my god, but I do. Mint chocolate ice cream is my favorite and those are like the best whenever they've released the cookies at the like start of the year. By the way, in canada, like our girl guides, they sell cookies, but they're not the same as the cookies that are in the States for their girl guides Ours in the spring. They have one side that's like chocolate cookies and then the other side that's like vanilla cookies. The chocolate cookies are kind of like fudgios, if they were like no name brand, and then white the golden Oreos again if they were no name brand. But then these ones are like the mint thins and it's like a chocolate, not a wafer, but like I don't even know what to explain it like, but it's like a chocolate mint cookie and it's like coated in chocolate.
Speaker 2:Oh, my god, exactly the way that mint chocolate ice cream tastes, just not yes, like if I put them in the fridge, they taste just like it.
Speaker 1:I need to go get some y York patties, now that we've been talking about this.
Speaker 2:If I come across them again, I'll buy you some.
Speaker 1:They're so good, I'm literally drooling right now.
Speaker 2:Okay, this is a short one. Okay, am I the asshole to ask that my deceased mother's engagement ring be part of her estate? By elegant standard, 280 19 hours ago? Oh no, there is already a verdict. My 85 year old mother and her partner were engaged for 10 years before her death at their age. They never intended intended toarry, but wanted to show everyone that they were serious and in love. They were both widows and have great relations with their grown families.
Speaker 1:So they were previously married and now they're engaged, but then one of them has passed. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:A day after my mother died, my mom's partner said he wanted to give the ring to my mother's only granddaughter, my child. It's now 18 months and the estate has been settled, but no gifting my daughter the ring. I'm worried that my stepdad will die and the ring will become part of his estate, which will understandably only go to his family. Am I the asshole to demand he hand it over? My mom died. She did not walk away from the engagement. I think it was her possession and therefore part of her estate. Ooh.
Speaker 1:If he's already said that he wants it to go to this person, then I feel like that doesn't make her the asshole. You know what I mean? I can see it that way. Yeah, I think if there wasn't a prior conversation, then that does kind of make you the asshole. Like that, makes it like I want this because it's mine. Like you know what I mean, it comes off greedy. But if he's already said that he wants this to go to this person, why isn't he changing his will? Why isn't he adding this?
Speaker 2:on his side who knows if he did or not, you know, I mean, who knows if she's part of his will? Yeah, so I actually can relate to this. Um, my, when my brother passed away, I wasn't not, I was not in canada, and when he got cremated my mom put a bit uh into a thing for my nephew, my brother's son, and then, like it was an afterthought, so it's in like a different thing that's not sealed properly, but she, like I was like sure I would love it and then I could spread him when I'm home, just so that like I feel like I was a part of it, sure, um, and when I came home, I didn't even mention it. My mom was like so upset and she was like I don't know how I'm gonna part with this. And I was like don't, like let's not talk about that right now.
Speaker 2:And then it came up a couple more times and I'm like it's not important right now. And then it came up a couple more times and I'm like it's not important right now, mom, and then like I, just without really talking to her about it, it's like I'm not taking it from her Like if the time comes when, like, she's not here anymore, then okay, then I will deal with it at that point. But it's like she lost her kid, you know and like for this person, it's like they lost their partner, this person.
Speaker 2:It's like they lost their partner and that's like they have pictures and memories and stuff, but like that was something that he gifted her, you know, and it's like they, they were gonna be married and it's like let let him hold on to it. Or just like say to him is there any way you could like tell your daughter or whoever like, that this ring would go to my granddaughter or something after, or whatever, like your granddaughter's like, how old is she? Like you know what I mean. Like is it really?
Speaker 1:sorry, I hit my microphone I think there's also like a how did she die versus how is he doing scenario here too, right, like is he on his deathbed and you're concerned about this, or he, she's still it.
Speaker 2:Her mother was 85. So maybe if they're around the same age, they're both widowers, if they are, so I guess there is that possibility and I can understand the worry of having it be gone. But like I don't know, I also feel like they were partners for 10 years. Right, this is a grown woman that has their her own child, so, or person that has their own child, and that is your.
Speaker 2:I feel like it would be different if it was your parents wedding ring, or your parents like together, like that symbolized with you, but it's like that's different and it is separated from you and I know it was promised to you, but there has to be a reason why it's not given yet, and you know what could be a slip of the mind. Bringing it up casually is fine, the way that she wrote it in here. How did she say, um uh, am I the asshole to demand he hand it over? Like what? Yeah?
Speaker 1:why would you?
Speaker 2:write it that way, like you actually had. You didn't even say this. You had to think to type that out, so I think you're gonna be an asshole. Was that the title, though? Or was that? No? No, that was in the story, but like. The title was that I asked my deceased mother's engagement ring. But then in here it said am I the asshole to demand he hand it over?
Speaker 1:that's full sentence. Stop, because it's like if that's the title, then that's clickbait. You know what I mean, but if that's what's in there, like but it's saying like my mom died.
Speaker 2:She did not walk away from the engagement. It's like uh-huh, um, you're, by saying that, you're saying that he's not entitled to it because she didn't walk away from the engagement. She fucking died. He lost someone, just like you lost someone. Like what do you, oh god?
Speaker 1:do you believe in heaven?
Speaker 2:uh, I believe that there's a possibility it could exist, so like if you like.
Speaker 1:So she was married before, right, and then now she's passed right. So like, do you think when, like when he passes now she has two husbands, because there's the whole, like till death, do us part right, like that's the whole thing. But like when you're in heaven, do you think you just have two husbands now?
Speaker 2:but it's till death, do us part. So it's like you're. You're parted one's death and I don't think you're necessarily reunited in heaven. If there was like an afterlife or something, I feel like you probably. If there was an afterlife, I feel like you'll just encounter everyone. I picture all these ghosts just roaming inside the ozone layer 100%.
Speaker 1:It's like a paranormal orgy, let's be honest, and I feel like everybody's remarrying and ending up with multiple people, so you just threesome and maybe, like your afterlife is really just visions of your life and it's your subconscious still living on.
Speaker 2:Maybe, I don't know, like there's so many possibilities. That's why, like Rams and I were actually just having a conversation about religion today, and it's because I'm talking about I'm talking to someone at work, about a religion that I just want to understand more and but I have no interest in ever converting, and, like Rams and I were talking about that like I just I think that there's always a possibility that other things could exist, but I can only believe, in fact, and I grew up in a really and maybe it's religion, religious trauma or whatever, but I'm still not close-minded. I will not go into a religion, but I will gladly learn about them, you know, and yeah, rams is, rams is part of a religion and I want to learn more about it. Um, what genre of story do we want to listen to? Um, like, am I the asshole? We can look for cheating. We can look for family drama.
Speaker 1:Let's go with work drama.
Speaker 2:It's funny that I say work drama and the first one that came up saying am I the asshole for telling my husband he and his mother ruined our wedding day for me? Oh, read that one. Okay, I, 35 female, got married to my husband, male, 41, recently. Neither of us liked the spotlight, so agreed on the small event. The only thing was I was firm about okay. The only thing I was firm about was I didn't want photos. My self-esteem is in the toilet. In the last 18 months months I have put on weight. I'm not looking to make excuses, but there are. But here are some reasons why. One in the I feel like you shouldn't have to justify this, but okay. One in the last 18 months I have lost both parents and my grandmother. I have lost two jobs and had a miscarriage. Depression has hit me hard at times and I have been comfort eating.
Speaker 2:I'm so oh my god, that is sorry to hear that, that is like, oh my god, that is a lot all at once. Number two I was put on new medication and weight gain what is a side effect? And number three about a year ago I broke my left ankle badly. I have had three surgeries to date.
Speaker 2:The last one was 10 days before the wedding and I cannot walk without pain oh my goodness I have only had like a couple of these things and like I mean, I put on a bunch of weight during that time. So, totally understand, I really didn't want photos that would remind me of the fact that I am now fat. I've like it's just. It's also really hard to hear like the self-hatred Like I I under. I understand, but it's hard to hear. Few weeks before the wedding, my mother-in-law is talking about going to a local beauty spot for photos. I say no, thank you, and that yes, I am being serious. My husband hears this and later that night night I say again I really don't want photos and he says that it's fine with him.
Speaker 2:A week before the wedding I am having the same conversation with mother-in-law and my husband. Day of the wedding, my father-in-law and mother-in-law pick us up I am no longer able to drive as I can't move my ankle. We get the whole legal shindig done and as we are, are going back to the car, mother-in-law again says let's go to the beauty spot for photos. I again say no, but she and father-in-law no, but she tells father-in-law to drive there and my husband just sits there. I know I gave him the look, but total silence. Long story short. The photos were taken and we head back In the car driving home. My mother-in-law starts showing me the photos and I hate myself in them. I look like a pile of fat shit. I look ridiculous in a dress with a medical boot and I can't stop the tears rolling down my cheeks. This upsets my mother-in-law and there is an atmosphere the whole rest of the day. I really tried to move on, but I had to get out of that stupid dress and all I really wanted was just to hide away Privately.
Speaker 2:I told my husband him and his mother ruined our wedding day for me because all I can think of is those pictures. He said he didn't realize I was so serious about no photos that it's only for him and his mom to keep and that he thinks I look beautiful. I told him that not 30 minutes into our marriage he totally let me down and I don't know if I'm beyond hurt or furious. He said I was being ridiculous and that I let him down by making such a fuss over normal parts of weddings. He also said that I had hurt his mother.
Speaker 2:She has some mental health issues and she's been obsessing over me crying on the wedding day and that I need to reassure her. She has done. She hasn't done anything wrong. I told him no and there will be serious problems if he tries telling her otherwise, because, as far as I'm concerned, they both totally ignored by one request and that was unacceptable. He thinks I'm being totally unreasonable. He thinks I'm being a totally unreasonable asshole. So am I being asshole? Reddit? And, by the way, there is a massive update and I think it's replying to comments in a way.
Speaker 1:Right, okay, and and maybe I should give the update you want the update first or you want my thoughts first let's do some thoughts so, first, I understand where the mother-in-law is coming from, where she wants pictures because it's a big day your son's getting married blah, blah, blah. I understand that. However, it's not your fucking day. Like it's her day and if the two of them agreed he needed to be supporting her in that decision of this is what we've already decided. Like we know you want pictures like if and it's for if, it's for the memories, like I could see her being, like we'll get one picture, but I'm not interested in looking at it. I never want to see it. Like I, I get that. I, oh, I get that. Oh, my god, this entire time, like you're reading this story and I'm like I related to this so much and at the same time, it's like we're listening to how she's talking about herself and how she hates where she's at and blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:But I, I was that. I was that. You know what I mean. Like I did feel that way about myself at one point in my life and when I was feeling that way, it was at my highest and it was at my wedding. You know what I mean. So it's like I did. I can really relate to this scenario. I am happy that we have pictures. Personally, at the time I was really like I don't really want pictures taken of me because you know. But I'm not gonna go down that road because I don't feel that way about myself, even looking at pictures of me. Now I know I post before and after pictures but like the before and after pictures are for my progress, not my happiness. You know what I mean. I'm not happier because I'm not fat, you know. Know honestly.
Speaker 2:I look at before and after is totally different. Like I know, lots of people can look at them as being fat phobic, but the thing is, is body dysmorphia is so real and it actually really freaking helps people and that's a mental health thing. And I stand behind before and afters, like, as long as you're not standing there and going, wow, look at when I was a fat piece of shit, you know, like, like, respect yourself. You know, like you, yeah, that was your body at one point and you know it got you to where you needed to be yeah, exactly, not even just to where you needed to be.
Speaker 1:It got you through some heavy shit, like think everything that she just listed off. Yeah, you've gained weight, but you're still here, like your body was surviving in this depression mode. Yeah, and it was just doing what it had to do. You know what I mean? Yeah, so the pressure. I will say your husband's an asshole. I'll touch base on that.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, but like and ram you better listen to me right now if my husband immediately started taking their mother's side when they're disrespecting me at the wedding. Marriage over Well not I am your wife, now I am, your family, now I am looking right at Ramsey by the way, lisa, while I'm saying that I would become your, family. Don't look at me like that. I would become your family.
Speaker 1:Don't look at me like that At the end, when he was like you, basically like you need to apologize for her because she thinks you're ruining the day, because you're upset Like yeah, no, no, she's no, you are now dismissing her feelings because nobody respected what you wanted and she's the one who has to apologize. This one might touch too close to home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure, all right, let's hear these updates you don't let people disrespect me when we're married. You don't let people disrespect me now we're common law. Take everything you've got I own you. Bitch everyone out there. I love him. Uh, okay, so okay.
Speaker 2:Update with all the comments saying I disregarded my husband's wishes on his wedding day. I asked him directly did you want those photos? And just said you didn't appease me. I don't know like what that meant, but it just sounds backwards to me. Um, before you all pile on again, there is no reason he would not answer truthfully. He replied okay, did you do it to appease me? Sorry, I think there was just a word missing.
Speaker 2:He replied that he did not care about the photos mother-in-law took in the woods. He said, having seen them, they are objectively bad. He clarified, poorly taken on a shitty phone, not something he would want to keep and not worth the distress caused. He said the only photo he would want was the one of the look on my face staring up at him when we said the i2s. Oh, he joked that he should have strapped a gopro on his forehead to capture that. But he doesn't need a photo to remember it. Oh, my god, that's so cute, like, just like. I'm sorry, but that was just a sweet way to like. You know, I feel like this is like I still feel like he should have stood up to his mom.
Speaker 2:But I do understand that sometimes there's like I understand that, though, like there's I know, you know, you know, I know's.
Speaker 1:Just it's one of those things where it's sometimes they just don't know it, they don't understand, they're still stuck in that. We'll call it the mommy trap, and it just it will. It'll just take a moment in life to realize that they're stuck in this mommy trap and it's at that point up to them to decide. Am I here for my family that I chose, or am I here for my family? Who is my mommy?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So it goes on. I would. I would not have been against the idea because it would have been private between just us, the GoPro. He cannot give a reason for being being silent in the car. Mother-in-law has a severe mental disorder and I believe there is fear around setting her off on a spiral, so that like that's understandable too. You know, I explained how ambushed I like I think it was just shitty all around but is she using that though?
Speaker 1:you know what I mean like, does she know I I get that, but that off, so she was also explaining that, so maybe it's like a repeated behavior I get that. I just I don't know if the mother-in-law is like I know I can get away with pushing them to do this because they don't want to shut me off. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah he cannot give a reason for being silent in the car. Oh, I already said that I explained how ambushed I felt and that I only got out of the car to try and keep the peace. That really upset him. He apologized for not speaking up. I think he understands the main issues were not being supported and feeling helpless. Everybody's saying I should have not got out.
Speaker 2:I am sure you would call me an asshole for throwing a childish tantrum, refusing to leave the car, if I post that scenario. It was a lose-lose situation. I apologized for letting my insecurities become part of our marriage. He hadn't realized just how my, how deep my issues ran. I am guilty of putting on a brave face, so I can't blame him for that.
Speaker 2:We don't want any drama. I am not going to hold a grudge against mother-in-law. This is the first time there was ever an issue like this in our family. Husband will talk to her, but not about my insecurities. He suggested asking her to delete the photos, but I said we both know he would have to die on that hill. Yeah, we are going to move past the whole thing. However, I don't know what I would do if she makes them public. Oh, we both agree that what matters is our nine year. Oh my god, I can't do this. We both agree that what matters is our nine year long relationship. That is now a marriage and not a single day where some papers were signed I think it's in your head.
Speaker 2:It sounded, sounded good, I know it's just it's because there's like fill, a lot of filler words and it's throwing me off. I am sure that comment is going to upset a lot of people who feel a wedding day should be magical life, a magical, life-changing event. But this is how we view our lives together, nothing to do with our feelings, with your feelings. I wouldn't put our relationship, slash, marriage on hold because times are tough, so why would I put this one day off? We are not american and marriage is not such a big deal here. Many couples never marry and that is very normal, since, before everything happened, our main reason for getting married was so that I could legally use his protected surname.
Speaker 2:This is why we just went to a registry. This is why we just went to a registry office. You know, I think it's the chai latte that I'm like. My mouth feels very like, weirdly dry. This is why we just went to the registry office and it was eight people in attendance. I apologize for my fat phobic language. Growing up in the 90s with a mother with an ed has clearly had an effect on how I view bodies and I need to work on that. I have had counseling for feelings around my loss of mobility, which is naturally touched on the other issues in my life. But I am going to speak to my doctor about more specialized grief counseling going forward. Voted not the asshole overall from everyone.
Speaker 2:Definitely not the asshole and I do like the update of how they were, like, yeah, I recognize the fat phobic comments I'm making because, like we all, we've been there. Yeah, you know I've made this hope people aren't.
Speaker 1:I want the body positive movement to twist that, not to be like I've seen so many times, where people make those kinds of comments about themselves and then the body positive movement feels attacked, that somebody is making those comments about themselves when at the end of the day, like I really truly believe, if you're in the body positive movement, you one day felt that way.
Speaker 2:You know what.
Speaker 1:I mean Like it wasn't like, you felt good and then you were like oh, I feel good, other people should should get. No, if you're in the body positive movement like you, you yourself felt like shit about yourself at some point and you've learned how to love yourself. And if someone's not on that level yet, like if people then start attacking that person because they don't feel the same way you do, even though you have felt that way in the past, it's, it's such. I hate that. I hate seeing that and I see it a lot on social media with that, but I hope that it was more of a positive reinforcement of like I hope you learn to love yourself one day and blah, blah, blah, like. You know what I mean. I I want that vibe for this girl. I don't want I don't want her being bullied into loving herself, because what's the difference between bullying somebody into loving themselves and bullying somebody into hating themselves?
Speaker 2:Do you know that I was talking to someone I'm really close to, who primarily uses Twitter to for social media?
Speaker 1:Oh, it wasn't me then.
Speaker 2:Twitter to for social media. Oh, and I had mentioned that about our feelings about body positivity, which I mean we don't need to go into, like you pretty much explained some of it too. Uh, and they really didn't like the way I was talking about it because they were like, well, you know, like they side on the body positivity and I'm like that's not what I'm saying. It's not that I'm against it, I'm just saying that like my feelings about it run pretty deep just because of how I was treated and stuff, and it's like their treatment regarding body positivity is so different than what we have experienced. Um, and it just like blows my mind that you're gonna have such different perspectives, whether you're like mostly posting over on YouTube or Instagram or TikTok.
Speaker 2:And it's like on TikTok it got pretty out of hand for me and like I just don't even bother with that anymore. And it's like if you want to unfollow me because maybe I talked about my weight or maybe I talked about calories, do it because my journey is me. You know what I mean. And like, if you're going to, if, if you're gonna like use your experience, if it's triggering you like you have eating disorders or whatever it could be any kind of trigger go ahead. But it's like don't put your feelings about your life on me, because I'm talking about what I'm doing and I don't feel like I'm doing it in an unhealthy way and.
Speaker 2:I have gone through a million unhealthy ways and I don't feel like I'm there anymore.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's just like if you are a recovering alcoholic and you're flipping through tiktok and you see somebody pop up and they're making drinks for halloween parties and you then comment you shouldn't be posting this because I find it triggering. No, you need to block it and leave that content. That's a you issue, not a that person issue. And like the amount of times people comment on tiktok where it's like somebody's doing something that they find dumb or stupid or whatever, and then they're like post this on instagram. Oh yeah, because the comments on instagram are wild.
Speaker 2:oh yeah, it took me a while to figure that out, because I'm like why do comments always say you should post this on instagram? And then I realized, realized, oh, it's an insult Cause they think it's cringe yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's just one. So it's exactly like that how your point of different social medias have different, have different things, Like I'll see somebody post something on Facebook and the and the like older generation attacking them. Being like this is horrible. Oh, I watched a video earlier. Sorry, you want to say something?
Speaker 2:remind me to come back to say I freaking hate facebook.
Speaker 1:Oh like those comments.
Speaker 2:They're all they're all boomers, or even you know what I won't say the generation that comes after them, we can all know, but like you, don't, like we, as a millennial, we know not to address them. You don't make the beast, but like they're all over there and like a lot of like the racists, like, honestly, that's where you go. I know, I just want to see blatant racism under their name, like why you really stand behind that.
Speaker 1:There is. There was. I watched a video earlier where there was a kid and he threw a water balloon at the window and it broke. And then the mom behind the camera was like the window broke and the mom behind the camera was like oh my God, you are in so much trouble, blah, blah, blah. And then everybody in the comments is like you're the one who grabbed the phone and started recording him. Like that's on you. Blah, blah, blah. And people are saying nope, that kid needs to be grounded. Like that kid needs a smack on the. Blah, blah, blah, like it's just like bro.
Speaker 1:And the amount of people who were like I wouldn't have let him, let him do that. Like you didn't know how it was going to react. But if you look at the video, at the very beginning the window was wet on a sunny day, so the kid already threw a water balloon at the window. It broke, and then you decided to get your phone and start recording and then they threw a second water balloon. And then you decided to get your phone and start recording and then they threw a second water balloon and then the window broke. And now you're blaming your kid. Meanwhile you were just encouraging this behavior like man. No, yeah, it's just it's. I flipped through and I look at the comments just to see what people are saying, but, like I never comment back because it's like you, there's no point. Like how many brain cells am I talking to right now?
Speaker 2:um, sorry, I just I wanted to ask you have you been on tiktok a lot in the last two days?
Speaker 1:um, not a lot have you heard of?
Speaker 2:like the rug in the backyard? No, okay, let me give you a quick synopsis. Okay, like, like this person's now friends with chris olsen. That's how much that this is blown up like it's shit yeah, you know people in the comments like who's chris olsen? People like, get off, tiktok. This woman was okay. You know what, for those of you out there, it's like I'm given the quick, quick quiff as a because I'm given the quick cliff notes as quick as I can.
Speaker 1:Okay, she decided the way you slurred your words at the start was basically simlish of what you were trying to say now that you said what you wanted to say. I was like, oh, I do understand okay.
Speaker 2:So she wants to build a fence with her husband. She digs into the backyard. They make a hole. They start to see a rug, like remnants of a rug that was rolled up buried.
Speaker 2:No, no, no so immediately panic, right, she contacts the people that they bought the house from. I think they've been there for a little bit, but I don't really, I I don't. I don't remember that part of the story. So she's like I don't know, let me ask my parents and they're like 85 or whatever, but skip that part. She then everyone in the commons like girl, call the, call the cops, call the cops. So she calls the cops. The cops don't really are like we're not using any resources for that. No, so she goes out there to like um, she was like I'm gonna leave it alone. Uh, she digs a little bit more of the hole, I think, and sees a bit more of it, and then detectives call and say we're interested in in coming there, like whatever they bring, cadaver dogs, two different ones. First one sits down right on the hole. Second one sits down right on the hole. So it became a crime scene.
Speaker 1:So there's, shut the front door, okay but I hate that I don't know about this it does get a little anti-climatic because they do pull out the rug.
Speaker 2:They are gonna send it in for testing. There was no body that was found, but why did the cadaver dog sit down?
Speaker 1:yeah, they had the whole thing digging.
Speaker 2:I think that they're not gonna keep digging right now, but they maybe. Maybe there's gonna be rules right now, but like they're they, they bagged it all up, so they're probably gonna send it in for testing because, again, why did the dog mix it down like two different ones? Anyway, this person don't know how many followers they had before. In two days they have 2.1 million followers. Holy shit, internet's mad now because she's capitalizing off of it by then, now making merch or whatever.
Speaker 2:And then other creators, like big creators, are like you're not gonna sit there in this capitalist world and tell me that if you blew up right now, you're not gonna try and make money off that. Like, get out of here right now, come on. Like demure jewels, holy crap. Like probably is swimming in money now, living this really nice life, flying everywhere. Because they made a video saying demure, mindful, like are you kidding me? I am ready to buy some merch. Like I am demure, um, so yeah, people in the comments were like I'm super suspicious of this and I'm like why, why?
Speaker 2:And it's like well, everyone's on tiktok just trying to be famous and making stuff up. I'm like yeah, she really made up those cadaver dogs and all those police in her backyard that are she's literally filming. And then people are like she's way too excited about this. So I commented, going my eyebrows blew up last year and I made over 20 videos that I don't even make money off of, just because of the sheer excitement of having my video blow up and the amount of support I had. It's just like you're literally living the only way I can describe when your video goes viral and you have that much engagement and it's positive. You're living on a high, like it's like a drug, because you're just like oh my god, and like you're being flooded with like coming back yeah, but not even that.
Speaker 2:It's just like I'm so excited to share in this life and people are interested in knowing more about this and like I was like so excited about it. Um, so, yeah, if I found a hug that could dabbard, I'd be like oh my god, you're making thousands of videos oh my god but anyway, super interesting. I know I was waiting for the like everyone, all of tiktok. If you go on there and just search it now, all of tiktok was sitting on the edge of their seat, being like what are they gonna find notifications on?
Speaker 1:my thing is like, like if it's fake, who fucking cares?
Speaker 2:you're entertained yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Okay, one of my favorite criminal minds. It's the same shit and that one's paid is it james fray?
Speaker 2:I can't remember it, but a million little pieces went on oprah, a long time ago they were selling this book, as a pretty much a biography of his life came out. There were his friends, were like I know he never went to rehab and it came out that actually it was fake. And then he's like well, parts of it were based on my life and it like oprah, I think even like took back her recommendation of it and like people were pissed, so mad and I had read it because someone had told me it was real. And then, after I was done, they were like this is what actually happened. And I was like but the guy can write like I only read things that are true, like true crime and stuff, and I read it that way and it was so amazing, like I wasn't sitting here going like, oh for this author, like oh, my God. I was just like wow, what a well written story. And then you know like what a life you've lived.
Speaker 2:But it's like saw eight saw eight like the movie.
Speaker 1:Yeah what do you mean? Have you seen the saw movies?
Speaker 2:There's eight of them. No, there's 10 of them. Now what there's? 10 saw movies. We don't. There's gonna be an 11th. We have only watched four. Remember when we watched them all that day. I know you watch everyone, you freak um.
Speaker 1:Do you want me to tell you what happens in saai?
Speaker 2:uh, sure, anyone that doesn't want to know probably mute your stuff now. See you later.
Speaker 1:It's been out for like 20 years now like it's no, it's not 20 years probably close to 15, though let me look like was the first one, even made 20 years ago it wasn't.
Speaker 2:I'm checking hold on no, I wasn't in high school when that came out. Well, technically, 20 years ago, I wasn't even in the original whole bitch.
Speaker 1:The original saw movie came out october 29th 2004, so it was 20 years ago this month for the original saw wow, I was 20 the saw a dog came out in 2004, babe, he's like yeah, I know, it was the eighth film in the soft
Speaker 1:franchise and I don't know. Oh no, not jigsaw, it wasn't jigsaw, was it. Saw seven did I ever saw? Pretty, yeah. So saw seven came out in 2010, so yeah, 14 years ago for this one. Anyways, point is, uh, the guy wrote a book about his experience of being in a saw trap and how it like made his life better, very demure, very mindful, and he and he, uh, so he releases this book and everybody reads it and it's like super inspired by, like how he actually took his lesson and learned from saw and he like runs um, like aa groups for those who have been in saw traps and everything and that type of thing, because you know, there's been seven movies, so so many people have been in traps. At this point turns out the book was fake, so he does end up in a saw trap because he published this book and had been lying to millions of people.
Speaker 2:No way yeah, that's stupid. What a way to attract jigsaw also right remember that story I told you about when I was living in staff a calm and someone dressed up as jigsaw and then rode through our house in the tricycle but there was grease on the tires so our beige carpets were permanently stained. Yeah, and and and. Then I was one of the staff accommodation supervisors.
Speaker 2:Like seriously secret right now that I kept secret before, but like I would, I would allow the people to party, but I was just like not I was like, I'm not aware of it, um, even though I was there uh, you were a attendee, I just wanted people to have fun, but in a controlled environment. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like I knew I couldn't control everyone, but it's like I just felt like so bad that they all had to live in this house and pay to live there and couldn't have guests over. So it's like I just tried to make it fun for them while also being mindful of everyone else. Anyway, they came over and then my manager was like what is with these stains? And I I had the greatest story. And then, what do you know, he the guy that dressed up as jigsaw told his boss what he did and his boss used to date my boss. So she actually knew the truth and I was like you're all done. Oh, my, stop messing up me, trying to allow us to have fun.
Speaker 2:And so many times people would be like oh yeah, like you used to do this and this and like throw me under the bus. And my rule with that place was if you're going down, you don't bring everyone down with you. If you messed up so bad that someone's going to report you, you just cop it. Bringing 20 other people down with you is stupid, you know, but anyway, that was just like the way I ran things, because it was like it was. With a bunch of 20 year olds you need to have fun like I was a decade older than most of them, so I felt like I had a good head on my shoulders, but it's just god. You know what. Why am I even talking about? That was awful.
Speaker 1:I would. I would also like to say that I am very proud of myself, that that is the first time I have said demure or mindful, and it had to do with a song movie.
Speaker 2:I have said it way too many times, but yeah, okay, this is fun.
Speaker 1:Um, I also really like that the last story ended up actually being about uh, anyway, and like it was, like the universe was like hold on, yeah, get back, get back, you're failing get down.
Speaker 2:Who do you think you are? It's gonna be a very uh edited episode, because there was a lot of crap in between. That looks like my, that looked like my ear was on fire and a candle in the back yes, I've watching it. I'm glad because I'm worried something's going to set on fire.
Speaker 1:I'd let you know. I was a little worried about the incense that was burning near the flowers at the start, but you're good, it looks like it's closer, but it's not that Anyway till next week or the week after, we don't know. Yeah, we don't know. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 2:Yay, oh and bye stop it.