The Weighting Room Podcast
The Weighting Room Podcast
FGT 49: Unpacking Our Struggles: Real Talk on Health and Habits
Dive into a conversation that brims with the hilarity and struggles of everyday life as we navigate our personal health journeys. We touch upon the wild chaos that often accompanies change—think of cats misbehaving and unexpected deep thoughts, all while reflecting on our experiences with GLP-1 medications like Ozempic and Saxenda.
Our discussions take us through the ups and downs of forming healthier habits, shifting from binge eating patterns, and learning to re-establish a balanced relationship with food in light of our changing appetites. Both of us find ourselves at a crossroads, contemplating new personal goals and strategies intended to forge a more robust commitment to our well-being.
Throughout the episode, we emphasize the importance of kindness—a reminder that every journey is personal, and we must treat ourselves with compassion as we navigate through layers of emotions. By sharing our challenges, setbacks, and fleeting victories, we encourage listeners to reassess their paths, explore their motivations, and take proactive steps toward their goals.
Join us for this insightful, humorous, and deeply relatable episode as we strive to find balance and embrace our authentic selves. We can't wait to hear your thoughts and experiences—don’t hesitate to share and connect with us!
Do you have a story you would like to share? Send it to us at theweightingroompc@gmail.com
Disclaimer: We are not Medical professionals and all views and opinions are our own.
Hello Chris, Hello Lisa. I'm really chaotic right now, so it's just been.
Speaker 1:That's okay. Honestly, you go chaotic because my voice is still screwed. I will be having coughing bits all through this that I'm sure Chris will either edit out or I will mute in time.
Speaker 2:For sure. No, it's just been a crazy day, like I went to lunch with my mom, my cat ate dinner and then puked, and then ate her sister's dinner and then puked. There was four piles of it and I've been running around cleaning it. My landlords were here, so I was deep cleaning my apartment before my mom came.
Speaker 1:That's such a cat move.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, she just won't stop. And then I'm like there's nothing with her. She just was like I don't like this flavor, maybe this one will be better. Nope, I think they don't like duck. I'm starting to pick up on that now because I'm like what is the common?
Speaker 1:thing that's happening here and I think I knew I duck, duck, there was no goose, I know it's um.
Speaker 2:They don't like beef, and now it's duck. It's just one thing after the other, but anyway I'm good. But uh, yeah, we're here right now because Lisa and I sent a text message to each other. We were like we're fed up and it's like want to hop on the podcast.
Speaker 1:And now we're here yeah, because it felt like we were about to go down a rabbit hole of if we're going to talk about this, let's just talk about this. I think it's really funny that you and I had the same thoughts at the same time all the time, all the time, the amount of times that I have texted Chris something or Chris has texted me something and we call each other immediately because we're like I was literally just thinking that and it's over, the most random shit, what was?
Speaker 2:that thing that I called you about, there was something that I BC Christ, yes, yeah we're trying, what were we trying to figure out, like just time or something we're talking about before Christ and like all these timelines. And then I sent Lisa voice note and she had been talking about the same thing and it's like why, like there was, there was no.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's no trend, there's nothing on the news I don't think you sent that one wasn't a voice note. We were on the phone and you were like, hey, have you ever thought about? This oh yeah, and I was like shut the fuck up. And she's like what? And I'm like I literally just said this to brandon like an hour ago of how, how did bc happen before bc? And it was just. It was a whole rabbit hole, but it was just the fact that we were on the same wavelength.
Speaker 2:Like it just takes, there's a bit of a time difference, so it takes a while it's three hours in between to get here I grabbed the thought, uh, but then lisa and I were uh, so I had thoughts today about so.
Speaker 2:Anyway, I'll just tell a start. But like, I woke up today just being really fed up and there is a part of my life that I have not shared on the podcast and I'm not still going to share on the podcast. But we can all use our critical thinking skills and just know that something that I'm doing in my life counteracts with my GLP-1. So that thing I keep saying on the podcast, I'm like I'm so over it, I'm done, I want to change it, I don't want to do it anymore, not the GLP-1, but the other thing. And it's been really hard, and especially being off work it's really hard too. So I woke up this morning and just went I don't want to keep doing this every day. I don't want to feel like this all the time and then so today I didn't do the thing I didn't want to do and literally I can feel the effects.
Speaker 1:You didn't do the thing today.
Speaker 2:I didn't. Oh, good for you. Yet I just don't know what. Essentially, today I felt the GLP-1 working. I went to lunch with my mom. I couldn't eat my fries, I could only eat half my sandwich. So it's like the thing that's been counteracting my GLP-1,. People like I'm sure have been like she's putting on weight or she's not losing weight and she's on Ozempic. I mean I'm still standing by the fact it's not a miracle drug. You still got to put in the work and stuff. But because I'm counteracting it, I'm not putting in any work and I'm literally doing everything but focus. I mean, the GLP-1 is for my diabetes but, like I've said in the past, my doctor has eyes. I'm sure he it wasn't just for my diabetes.
Speaker 2:I don't even know where I'm going with this. I'm fed up is like the tagline here. It's it really is. I'm just I'm fed up with everything. I'm fed up that I I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure I'm going through pre-menopause, perimenopause, pre-menopause I don't know what it's called.
Speaker 2:Uh, because for the last few nights I'm like waking up in the middle of the night, going to the bathroom, coming back and I'm having like the sweats, like I can't control this heat, and it's a heat I've never felt in my life like when I was in Australia. So I don't know, it could be something else. But for people that take ozempic or a glp1 and you get that nauseous feeling where you start feeling dizzy and you're like, oh, I'm gonna throw up that feeling amplified. So I don't know, am I going through a low sugar? Is this an ozempic effect, or am I actually having menopause symptoms? And it's so confusing. So I'm seeing my doctor, not next week but the week after. I'm gonna ask him if I can get blood work done to like check those things out. I think that they can tell right, if you're going through that by your they would, they would.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was just gonna say they would uh, check your testosterone and hormone levels and go from there and see what's up I also have an appointment in march with the medical weight management.
Speaker 2:So, like we have, uh, I have to go get complete blood work, a heart scan, anything they monitor your heart rate or whatever uh. And then I have like my six month how you doing, and six months ago they were like, hey, now that you've hit 40, we want to talk about cholesterol pills. Unfortunately, I said please just give me six months to try and regulate it myself, and I've done everything but focus on that. And I went the opposite and I'm pretty sure it's gonna even be a little bit higher or the same. So I'm disappointed that. But I'm actually excited for the meeting because if I have to go on cholesterol pills, I have to go on cholesterol pills, but I want to talk to them. I don't know if doctors really talk about supplements and whatnot, but I just feel that now I'm at 40. I want to take supplements.
Speaker 2:I put out a video about what supplements people are taking and I'm very interested in starting to take b12 and whatnot, because I hear that it gives you that energy, um, but I have nowhere to spend the energy right now because I'm still off work. I'm still on the couch like 70 percent of the time, 80, 90 percent of the time, I don't know right. So it's really hard to be like I'm sick of this shit. I'm starting, I'm doing, I'm getting my shit together now while still being in the position I am. But the only thing I can focus on right now to get out of this rut is to stop doing that thing. I'm not talking about Like I'm bored, so it's like boredom eating, it's boredom trying to fill my life with anything else. But like why can't I just pick up the book and read all the books I bought that I haven't read yet? Why can't I just focus on other things? It's habit. It's habit and I need to form new habits.
Speaker 1:Out of curiosity, because you're on Ozempic and I'm on Saxenda. So with mine it was like the first day I took it, because mine's a daily dose and yours is a weekly dose. So with mine I noticed it like day one appetite was shut down, like I instantly knew the difference between appetite wanting to eat and actually being hungry, wanting to eat. Do you find Ozempic does the same thing?
Speaker 2:Okay. So with Ozempic I have no want to eat. When I wake up in the morning I may be hungry, but if I end up doing something else, I have forgotten about that hunger and no longer hungry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then I will go on a regular day day and I'm not doing anything to counteract it. I will go until 3 or 4 pm, being up at 6 am but also not doing anything with my day. I'm not having any activity, really like basic activity in my apartment. Um, I will go into like 3 or 4. The worst I've done is 7 without eating. That's almost the entire day because I can completely. It just shuts off the food noise to me. If I'm doing the thing, that counteracts it, I'm eating like binge style, but it hurts to binge. If I go back to the first example and I do put a plate of food in front of me, not being hungry, I will want to eat. If I don't portion it, I could probably continue eating. It's just it really shuts the food noise off for me, but it doesn't mean that I can't eat as much as I, as much as I can like, as much as I want.
Speaker 2:Right With being in therapy and the medical weight management program. Now they have really been trying to make me focus on sit down with your food, be with your, and I said I did, but I didn't, because I was trying to think of how I could get away with it without it being so brutal. So I made myself hot pot, but with only cabbage, a little bit of beef and enoki mushrooms and bean sprouts and all of that is very like. It's like volume eating. So it's like you know what I mean. So I was like I did that instead. So I wasn't going to McDonald's and ordering four burgers and whatnot. I was filling it with like nutritious food and whatnot, but it was still food I wanted. Like it wasn't like I'm going to eat this and just try and satisfy that urge. I wanted this food and then I said I was eating Subway and we were watching wrestling. I ordered a footlong and I ate six inches, tried to put the other part back but I immediately wanted it, didn't realize I had actually inhaled, inhaled that and then halfway through my other six inch, I was like you need to stop and you need to slow down. You need to chew your food.
Speaker 2:One thing I don't think that you know about me is I don't really chew food, not intentionally. I chew, chew, swallow, choose, choose, swallow. And I didn't realize not everyone ate that way and that's probably a really big um factor into why my digestive system is the way it is. I'm trying to digest whole unshewed food. So, yeah, I have a lot of perspective and a lot of things to like look at.
Speaker 2:But, like I said in the beginning of this that I still haven't shut up now it's been 15 is that I have a lot of things I need to focus that aren't like me posting on TikTok. I'll probably talk about it way more on the podcast because it's not like video worthy, it's not TikTok worthy, it's not. It's not. It's important to me. But I'm focusing on these little things that people aren't going to recognize or that I'm probably going to get hated for because I'm not doing enough. And I'm not interested in that, because right now I really need to focus on not doing the thing that's counteracting, getting more water in me and chewing my food, and that sounds fucking stupid when you say that out loud, but it's not fucking stupid and it's getting back to the basics and I have to rebuild my habits and that is the end of my whole. Whatever the hell, this is my life.
Speaker 1:The last 24 hours.
Speaker 2:So that's what I've been going through since. I sent Lisa a text this morning. We I asked her actually how the episode, if she liked our first episode, because I personally felt very what's the word I'm looking for Not embarrassed. But I just felt very anxiety ridden because I felt like I went on such a tangent and I'm going to ruffle feathers. And then I was like wait, I told myself in that podcast I wasn't going to give two shits because this is what I want to do and it's really hard.
Speaker 2:Like you have like want to do and it's really hard, like you have like you even get. It's really hard to balance that because I'm just worried about hurting someone else's experience. But then I have to like stop and go. But this is my experience and if someone's gonna pull away from my experience and put that on them like I'm not doing that they are. So it's like, anyway, I'm just I'm probably gonna be on the podcast a lot more, just not on like with, with TikTok and especially with, like, the younger generation.
Speaker 1:There was a lot of. You can't do that because that affects me, yeah, but it's that's not how the world is Like. If you don't like something, it's on you to not involve yourself in that thing. It's not, it's not my responsibility to make sure that you don't have access to that thing. That's that's on you. Yeah, and I think there was a lot of. So one thing that I have noticed with me in general is I am this before certain things happened in my life, I was very much a people pleaser. Like all the time I can't disappoint people, and I'm still that way to an extent. There's still factors in my life that, like I cannot disappoint people, and it took a lot for me to learn actually, it took having a daughter for me to learn that there, me and her and my family are important and you can't let people walk all over you kind of thing.
Speaker 2:And I think you and I are very similar in that way about being people pleasers.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think that's why it's so difficult, when it comes to TikTok, to fully express what it is that we're going through and how we feel, because we know if we say something it could upset somebody else, and I'm such a people pleaser that it's like I don't want to upset anybody. But at the end of the day, like you're right, this is my experience, that's not your experience. My, if my experience upsets you, then my content isn't for you, because it's still something that I went through and I'm still allowed to feel the way that I need to feel in my experiences yeah, um, as I get to know different people's experiences, it makes more sense.
Speaker 2:But also, it's none of my fucking business. If you want to lose weight, if you want to gain weight, if you want to do whatever you want with your life, it's your life, not mine. That doesn't hurt me. I have no opinion, uh, even if I don't think that you need to lose weight, but you want to lose weight and you're not harming exactly I'm taking the words even out of her own mouth If I'm not harming anyone, if I'm not harming myself, if I'm, if there's no toxicity and everyone's version of toxicity is very different- oh, my gosh oh the people that cut out bread.
Speaker 2:They're so toxic it's like they could be allergic. I could have digestive problems. You don't know that. So I think it's if someone's pushing an MLM Jenny Craig, weight Watchers like you know what I'm talking about pushing it, if they're on Weight Watchers and that's what they want and it works for them, that's their business. It's the same way I feel about religion Go ahead and do your thing, but the minute you their business. It's the same way I feel about religion Go ahead and do your thing, but the minute you start telling me that's the way I need to believe. You know what I'm about to say. So if you don't know, you have to go back and start listening on this podcast.
Speaker 1:Chris went to a.
Speaker 2:Catholic school, just to, only until grade 10.
Speaker 1:10 out of 12.
Speaker 2:Well, technically since kindergarten oh my goodness.
Speaker 2:So with me, those like cause on the last episode we did I, I, on the last episode, I sent you a message afterwards saying, like these are the questions that we had of, like, what are our goals, what do we want to do to focus on them and how are we going to accomplish them, something like that. Yeah, did you have time to think about those questions? No, I was dying. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Yeah, you were dying. You said that in the beginning of this podcast flat out dying.
Speaker 1:But you know what? Um, so I didn't think of it into that amount of detail. But so I've haven't been taking my glp1 medication for the last week, uh, truthfully, because, um, I took the last pen out and went, oh shit, I I need to get more of this, and I haven't picked it up from my pharmacy yet. So that is that's the full reason why, um, so sorry, my brain went blank for a second there. My brain is still playing catch up from not being, um, healthy, from being sick.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, everyone. Lisa sent me a voice note and I actually I'm not kidding I had to stop it. I sat right up and I stopped it and I was like who sent me this voice note? And it was Lisa and I was like there's no way she sounds like a demon from the swamp. Sorry, but I was so freaked out.
Speaker 1:Oh, I was dying Like as soon as you sent that, because she sent me a message afterwards saying that and I was like, yeah, you probably think someone tampered with this message or that my microphone isn't working, but no, it is literally me that is not working. It was brutal. I had chills, zero energy on Saturday Like I bless my husband. I slept most of the day Saturday and then slept half the day on Sunday, Started feeling a little bit better on Monday and then have just been pushing through work the last two days. So today is like I'm actually doing really well today. I have high hopes for tomorrow. Yeah, I haven't been taking my GLP-1 medication over the last week. Yeah, I haven't been taking my GLP-1 medication over the last week. And what?
Speaker 1:it made me realize was um a, I can do this without a GLP-1 medication. I've been okay. It's like it did a reset in my brain. It's weird because, like, a part of me is still like I want to cope of something. Whether it's boredom, whether it's like just going on with something and I just want to eat something. But food before GLP-1 medication I don't know if anybody else has experienced this, but like food before taking this medication tasted so much better, like it was like before I would eat something and it was was just like oh my god, this is so good. Like that was the experience and I just wanted that more and more and more. But like without GLP-1 medication, I had two slices of pizza the other day and was able to stop and even go meh On the pizza. I used to eat an entire pizza because I couldn't stop eating it. So it's like I don't know how my brain did that not being on the medication for a week and being able to eat two slices of pizza and being like that's cool, that's crazy it's.
Speaker 2:My brain was focused on what you're saying, but it wasn't until you said what you said that I was like is it glp1's fault? Because remember how you couldn't eat pork when you were pregnant?
Speaker 1:oh fuck. I literally was like am I fucking?
Speaker 2:pregnant because I love barbecue pork from like tnt and stuff that you can buy. Uh, oh, my god, like just give me a nachos not pulled pork.
Speaker 2:I don't always like pulled pork, it's not the best, but barbecue pork slices like oh, um, I will have a piece and want to vomit now from anywhere. I have kept trying that like because I'll even get wonton noodle soup and it'll have the barbecue pork in. It can't eat it anymore and it's kind of like not all pork but but it's like ham things like that. I can't. Prosciutto just tastes like salt to me. Now I love prosciutto and it's so salty I mean duh, but like now it's just so much more. Yeah, I don't like it. I want my taste buds back.
Speaker 1:I don't like it. I want my taste buds back, that's just. And it's like now I've been biting my nails because I haven't been biting my and this is over just the past, like couple of months. I stopped biting my nails for the last, like five years ish. It was before COVID, like right at COVID, that I stopped biting my nails. So then I went on GLP-1 and now food is just like meh. And then I started biting my nails again, without even noticing it, because I just my brain is trying to find these new ways to cope and it's like well, food isn't doing it for you anymore, so now we need to find something else. And so now I'm just biting my nails, which I hate doing. So I'm trying to stop myself from that, but it's like I don't know how to. I don't know how to cope.
Speaker 1:And I say cope as if like I'm going through something and I need to go deal with it, but it's like cope just with anything like boredom or because food was everything, like that's the thing. Like I say cope, but like food was literally like I'm bored, I'm gonna go eat. I don't want to do this task, I'm going to go eat. Like I look at the time of day, oh, it's lunchtime. I should probably go eat Like it was just. Food was the answer for everything, and now it's not a thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's one thing that I'm really struggling with, but the other thing was of what I texted you earlier is I had this like realization do you remember before when we were talking about and when I say before, I mean like a while ago, when we were talking about how we give our one? Like whatever our 100% is like whatever your 100%?
Speaker 2:oh, my god, I think about that all the time. Well, you, you said that, not we. You told me I did Take that credit.
Speaker 1:But I was thinking about that this morning and I'm like I'm not giving any percent at all and that wasn't even like a like that wasn't a. Are you giving 100% of your 100% right now? No, like. I evaluated that.
Speaker 1:I sat and thought about it because I started taking the GLP-1 medication, the weight started coming off because I wasn't eating as much, because I was controlling it more and I kept saying to myself in my head well, I have this like 80-20, balance of 80. That's like the nutritious food, nutritious dense food to the 20. That's the non-nutritious junk food. Let's be honest, let's just fucking call it what it is. So, yeah, I try to do that 80-20, but I don't think I've been doing that 80-20. After reflecting it, I really think it's more of like a 60-40 of yeah, I'm eating salad, yeah, I'm having a smoothie, but look what I'm having for dinner and look what I'm having for snacks. Like it honestly feels like 60-40, sometimes 50-50, not that 80-20. And it just once I had that realization. It was kind of just one of those things where it's like I gave up the taking care of myself part because it just felt like the GLP-1 medication was going to do it for me.
Speaker 1:Now and I know that's not a hundred percent true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think a lot of people experience that. Yeah, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you, it's just that like, that statement is like like super. I think a lot of people feel that way that it's like, well, this is gonna help, but it's like no, like the doctor, like when the doctors say, like diet and exercise, diet and exercise, like it's just it. If I think it fucking kills me because it's like fuck, they've been right this whole time, like I know, I know that sounds so stupid, because it's like yeah, no shit but.
Speaker 2:But it's like because diet culture got me consumed that, no, I just have to cut these things out, you know I just have to do this. So it's like my brain. No matter how many times I tell myself that's not the right way to go, I can tell myself that until I'm blue in the face my brain needs to be rewired it was.
Speaker 1:Either it was one of two things, it was diet culture because that one is true where they're saying you need to do this instead, or heroin. Or it was the other side where we on TikTok, where it's well, there's other things that cause people to be fat, like that was the other thing which 100% there is, and I'm not. I'm not dismissing that at all, I'm not saying there isn't other factors involved in it.
Speaker 2:Well, no, but you have the other factors too, Like you have two different eating disorders. The thing is is like yes, my doctor has told me binge eating. I'm not stupid, I know I have binge eating. But then now with the official diagnosis, but it's a cause from this bigger diagnosis, it's like there's nothing that I could have done other than get help sooner. I wouldn't have been able to afford it. Um, there's nothing I could have done. Like and like it's so hard to make especially toxic people understand that because it's just like dude, like your brain is fucking powerful and there's only so much.
Speaker 2:We even know about it already. And binge eating is fucking hard man like. Anyway, sorry, yeah, I didn't mean to carry on. I just like I, I I just get sad about it because it's just like there are a lot of factors to why people are bigger. But the thing is, is that like, I think it is that like I do want to be careful with what I'm saying because it's just like I feel like a lot of people just like fall to it, where it's just like, oh well, I must have it. And I have done the same thing where I see people that have ADHD and I'm like I must have that because I and people online thought that I had it, I, and so I wanted to get tested. Turned out that it was actually a bigger issue, but it has some characteristics of ADHD and I don't want to keep talking about that when I'm not really open to talking about it. But um, sorry, I went on a tangent.
Speaker 2:I don't really know where I'm going with it, but it's just like it is a real thing. Yeah, like there are a lot of these other factors. It's just that I do think that we do lean on them a lot, and that's what I was going to say.
Speaker 1:It's you no, no, no, don't apologize, I'm agreeing with what you're saying. I know what you mean by lean on it. You don't want to say you're using it as an excuse, because that's not it, but it's almost like you just accept it and that's what it becomes and that you feel it becomes you. But I mean, like I feel like I've done the same thing. Like as soon as I joined the body positive community, it was like, well, I come from a bigger family, so it is what it is I'm, and I maybe even to now, like, even just thinking about, like, as I'm saying that out loud, like maybe it's in my head, I'm thinking I'm never going to reach a hundred pounds loss because it is just who I am. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:But at the same time, I'm sitting here and I'm looking at my goals and I started I can't remember if I said this last week or whenever it was that we were talking, or if I had just said it to you but like, and I feel like this is coming off really negative when I say this but I just don't want to be fat anymore and it's just one of those things where it's like it has nothing to do with seeing other people who are plus size and me thinking that they can't be plus size, which I feel like now on TikTok, there is that idea of if I say I don't want to be fat, that's what I mean. But what I mean is, since I've lost the weight, it's just been easier for me to move, it's been easier to keep up with my kid, it's been easier for me on the stairs, it's been easier on my body and I just want to be in a fitter body and that's my goal and I don't have a number for that, yeah, which is fine like I'm actually fucking surprised.
Speaker 2:Like I'm trying to focus on what you're saying, but I'm so fucking surprised that you said that out loud For everyone out there. Lisa and I have been saying this to each other for a couple years, like we're not going to lie, but we know where we're coming from. We're not fuck fat people. Exactly what Lisa just said. We're not like, oh, like fat's disgusting. I hate the way I look. It's not even if you fucking want to feel that way, whatever. But like it is exactly what lisa said and from my experience. I'm sorry, but I'm very tired of my apron belly, belly, hitting my fucking thighs. I'm very tired of rashes.
Speaker 2:I'm very that's exactly what I said to my nurse I'm very tired of not knowing what feeling cold is like. To be quite honest, I'm hot all the time. I'm sweating right now sitting here doing nothing. Maybe I laugh too hard. I sweat because I laugh. I am closer to being bed bound than I am to climbing up a mountain, and that is factual for me, because I have increased with my weight. My back is hurting every day, my hips are hurting every day, my knees are are fucked. I have plantar fasciitis. I feel fucking trapped. I want to hike up those. I want to hike up those mountains and I can still be 200 pounds doing it. But 200 pounds is about 130 pounds less than what I owe now.
Speaker 1:Oh, now, way now who are we paying it back to? I'll ask if they'll take interest my mother.
Speaker 2:She can take it so she will know what it's like to be fat skinner this is real fat girl therapy right now, guys I.
Speaker 2:I will still walk out of this house in a really cute dress that's a little bit shorter than I really want, and I will feel confident as fuck. I have not never, but rarely in the last six, seven years, been like I don't want to leave this house because I feel like a fat, disgusting piece of shit. I have told myself that in the past a lot, when I was in my 20s and that's when I was deep in a diet culture and doing all the fucking diets. I will be honest, I have probably said that twice In the last six or seven years or whatever I said. I have said that like I feel like a fat, disgusting piece of shit, but that's gonna come and go.
Speaker 2:I feel like most of our brains have done that because we've seen a video or something's gotten in our head or whatever, or you're just having a bad body day and you decided to be completely fucking cruel to yourself rather than just recognizing it's a bad body day. I'm still wanting to lose the fucking weight. I want it. I've just listed all the things my hip, my knees, my, my back, my everything. I caught myself on my security camera today and I am fully. I almost have a little bit of a sway back and forth. My stomach sticks out so much that my back is so curved that I am walking different. And that security camera is what I saw today and it fucking hit me in the face because I'm like you're walking different. It's going to cause you to walk different. It's going to start causing you pain because it's like you're limping you know when you limp and then you're causing your body structure to go different. So then something else is going to hurt. That's what I'm doing to my body and that's not what I want to see.
Speaker 2:I didn't go on there and go. God, no one loves you. God, you're disgusting. I went holy. Fuck the structure of your body's way off, not fat, just the structure, the way I'm standing, the way I'm walking, it's, and I can just see what's going to happen. I'm 41 this year. It's just gonna get worse. It is nothing's gonna get better. I'm dying, I'm dying. No, I'm not fat wise, I'm dying. I'm on my way to death. I'm on my way to 80 or whatever I'm gonna live to. So anyway, oh shit, fuck man, how many rants have I been on today?
Speaker 1:I don't know, I didn't bring my clicker today. Are you tired? You look? No, no, no, I'm listening because I know you're listening it just makes sense. Well, okay, I'm sick and it's 20 to 9. Like what the fuck you want from me?
Speaker 2:oh god, no, I just want to shut up because I just feel like I'm talking in circles and saying the same thing.
Speaker 1:No, I feel the exact same way as you and with how my throat is. I'm glad that you're um. One thing that I did do or start doing this week was because my, when I was talking to my nurse about this and when I told her like how I just I don't want to be fat anymore she and this was hard for me to actually realize that this was actually what my goal was. It wasn't just a number on the scale, but it was actually this. She asked me who do I look up to for that inspiration? And I realized I haven't really followed anybody's fitness journey for that kind of motivation at all, because this entire time I've been on social media trying to avoid comparing myself to other people. So I was like I don't know. Everybody that I followed on social media was like, okay, you're on a weight loss journey and I'm on a weight loss journey, let's support each other, and that was about it. But now I'm like like how do I want to look?
Speaker 1:like what do I do? Because I don't want to go into this being like. I know I want to look different but not have an idea. Otherwise body dysmorphia is going to kick in and I'm going to feel like it's never good enough and I feel like I do need to kind of find that body type that I want to be.
Speaker 2:Does that make sense? It makes sense, but like the community was different back then, in 2020 and whatnot, and like we did, I know exactly what you're talking about. I don't want to follow fitness influencers anymore. I don't want to follow weight loss people. I want to be them. I don't want to follow them. I don't want to follow weight loss people. I want to be them. I don't want to follow them. I don't want to know what they're doing. I don't want to watch their videos. I want to be in the video and I want to continue following plant talk and drama talk and stuff and get my mind off of weight loss that way, so that it can be my escape, because my mind is focused on this already From the time I wake up. We've already talked about how we felt today. I want to be that person. I want to be inspiring for others. I want to be the reason that other people start their channel. Yeah, that's what I want. Fuck, I don't want to follow anyone. I want to follow everybody and everybody just starts following you, okay.
Speaker 1:Then I'm going to propose this right now, because we have both done the same thing and we have both said I want this, I want that, I want that. Fuck it, I'm not, I don't, I'm doing that, and that's, that's what I'm saying. I'm going to fit in a size 16 by the end of this year. Nice, okay that I am manifesting that right now. I am owning that energy. I am doing that. I am going to fit in a size 16 by the end of this year.
Speaker 2:Hmm, I don't have a goal like that. I was going to say I want to jump out of an airplane by the end of this year because you have to be at a certain weight for that, that's okay, look at Lisa, just all right was so funny, but like I would have to be about 70 what we were talking about about 10 minutes ago and now you're like.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna hop out of a plane by the end of this year like, hold on, let's just let's be rational here.
Speaker 2:I've actually been watching random skydiving keeps coming across my feet and stuff and I'm just like yeah, because I've had that dream for probably like 15 years and bungee jumping and they all have like a weight limit. I think the max is 250. And that's what I would love to do. But also I don't want to make myself have a goal that I have to lose 80 pounds in a year. So it's just like that's just my dream, that's just what I hope to have one day, and I don't want to put the limit on a year. I would like the habit of drinking water is my go-to and not having pop diet Pepsi specifically be my go-to by the end of this year. Diet Pepsi has been my go-to for practically my entire fucking life and water is not on my radar. So I would like to have the habit where water is what I do and pop's a treat.
Speaker 1:Okay, you got to rephrase how you said that. Why? Because you said I would like to have it and we are doing it, so you need to-.
Speaker 2:I'm going to do it, you're going to do it. So that is like a year long goal but like for right now, short term. Do you have something that you'd like to try and accomplish this week? One or two things, but it has to be something that you can hold yourself accountable, because we say this all the time like rewind the last four years of this podcast. Has it been four years, fuck?
Speaker 1:I feel like I haven't known you for four years, but here we are Five years.
Speaker 2:No, because it was at the end of 2020, I think, wasn't it?
Speaker 1:I don't know about the podcast part, but you and I started talking in 2020.
Speaker 2:Podcast was 2021. I joined TikTok July of 2020. And then I didn't actually start posting until, I think, september.
Speaker 1:Regardless End of 2020.
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah, I think you were like the first person that ever stitched my video, a video of mine, ever. Okay. So like for me, for example, mine's actually not going to be weight loss focused. Okay. So like for me, for example um, mine's actually not going to be weight loss focused. Okay, mine has to do with the thing that I'm getting trying to get rid of in my life, um, but because I can't focus with it. So I'm going to try and read a half a book by the end of the week.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean like not this week until we record next so sarah's gonna love this. I'm reading fourth wing right now I don't know what we're talking about, oh, okay read it.
Speaker 1:Read fourth wing it's, it's not the one that we were talking about last time. This is a new one. Uh, long story short. Girl goes to military school. This military uses dragons. Huh, that's all I'm gonna give you. I. I I've been doing really well with my water, but I honestly think I've only been doing really well with my water because I'm sick, like my throat has just been dying, so. But I only been doing really well with my water because I'm sick, like my throat has just been dying, so. But I've been carrying this thing with me everywhere and it does make me think why can't you do that all the time Mio has?
Speaker 2:actually been what's getting me through water. Sorry to interrupt you, but like I've been using. Mio so much.
Speaker 1:Strawberry. What is it? Not the mio brand, but the strawberry crush and a lemonade water enhancer with dehydrated strawberries oh so good. The dehydrated strawberries really make a difference too. Also, iced teas like getting herbal teas and icing it instead of meows is also really good too, because there's other nutritional values with tea Plus. I think tea just cleanses your soul.
Speaker 2:Personally, I have so much tea and also, like I've said, I don't like promoting David's tea, but I'm going to tell you right now that this turmeric chai tea from David's tea was phenomenal. Go get it. Oh, there's none left, I'm going to.
Speaker 1:I honestly don't have a goal for this week. I've been so sick I just need to get back on everything like. I just need this cold to go away so I can start my sex enda again. Get back to the gym again. I do think, even waiting on that though, I could start tracking my calories again. Not for because, like I know, calorie wise I've been doing OK. Obviously because, like the way things have been going, but macro wise I think I really need to start focusing more on my macros again.
Speaker 2:While you're getting better, like what. So, since you want to track that, why don't you just spend this week tracking how much water you're actually ingesting and just like track that thing and just see how, like, what you're doing could improve?
Speaker 1:so I actually didn't want to start tracking my water because I feel like every time I start, I came to the realization that every time I want to drink more water, I always get one of those water apps like water llama or whatever it is, and um, I'm like I'm gonna drink more water and I'm gonna see how much water I'm drinking and it's great. But then I had the realization of that makes no sense, because now I'm adding a step into drinking water and I can't even do the bare minimum.
Speaker 2:I actually literally just meant like if, if you drink that whole thing today, then you just put a one in your notepad, like in your in your phone, or something that you drink one already and then one and then the next day. It's like do you do two or did you do less? Like I didn't mean like fully tracking on app, because that just feels like way too much, it's just the slow. Like, hey, did I drink two or three of these today? Can I do more?
Speaker 1:hey, did I drink two or three of these today?
Speaker 1:Can I do more? Yeah, you know what I really want to do. I'm gonna meal plan. That's my goal now that I'm thinking about it, because I'm I have to do my meal planning and everything on Friday. Anyways, I'm actually going to prep it.
Speaker 1:The last two times I got groceries, I had stuff that I was going to do, didn't prep it and then it went bad. Like I did that for two weeks in a row and then I got sick. But like Friday I'm doing that I was going to do, didn't prep it and then it went bad. Like I did that for two weeks in a row and then I got sick. But like Friday I'm doing groceries, I'm going to plan my meals, all of them, not just dinners. Usually I just do dinners because I got to figure out everything with my husband and my daughter and all that stuff. And breakfast it's like, well, I'll just do this. And then lunch is like, well, well, usually I do those bag salads. But I'm actually going to sit, I'm going to write out my plan for the next two weeks breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, or even find one, so that it's just done for me. But that's. That's my goal. That is my goal. I'm gonna meal plan.
Speaker 2:I meal planned some desserts. Because of my late night snacking, I keep wanting a lot of sugar, so I made a protein pudding, the cereal Alani, one with cheesecake pudding. And then I put frozen strawberries on top with some sugar-free chocolate chips. That sounds delicious. I made three of them, so yeah. I made a meal planning thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I made full carb fat, uh cinnamon rolls right before we got on here. So while I was uh venting on here while saying I don't want to be fat anymore, literally five minutes before we logged on, I pounded back one of them.
Speaker 2:So whatever man doesn't mean, you can't have that stuff.
Speaker 1:I had one scoop of spaghetti with two scoops of meat sauce so that I had more protein, less carb, like ratio that way on a small plate, so that because I knew I was going to have that cinnamon bun later. Like, you know what I mean. It's about balance. And if people don't think it's about balance and it's about just cutting out all the junk, like the problem is you, I need to going back to that 60 40 thing. I need to going back to that 60 40 thing. I need to go back to what my perfect ratio is.
Speaker 1:What my, I need to get into that 80 20 and I need to understand what is a 20% food and what is an 80% food and stick to 80 20.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good talk.
Speaker 1:It really was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right. Yeah, yeah, I like it because I like last week's rams is so pissed at me because he came into the door and because my microphone has been picking up everything, I'm like you have to go to the room. I'll only be 10 minutes. That was 20 minutes ago and he just got home from work so he hasn't even been able to relax. Oh, that's what we do for you guys to bring these episodes. We make our husbands suffer. You're not my husband yet.
Speaker 1:People, I was just gonna say wait, did we miss a chapter? I?
Speaker 2:call him my husband because we've been together for eight years. We're tied at the hip and it's common law in this country tell me when yeah, that's what when sounds like I, I picked up on that.
Speaker 1:All right, listen, bitch, you're tougher than your toughest day. I love that. That's good. That's so good. All All right, we're going to get out there and I'm, I'm. I still can't believe. I said I'm going to be a size 16 by the end of this year, but you know what? Fuck it. I'm going to. You're going to do it.
Speaker 2:Fuck it. So much for half an hour episodes. Oh fuck, I forgot about that Bye.
Speaker 1:We'll cut the next one short. The next one will be 15 minutes. You're getting an episode next week. Yeah, next week. You got both of them right. Okay, bye, yay.