The Weighting Room Podcast
The Weighting Room Podcast
FGT 50: The Mental Health Journey: From Breakdowns to Breakthroughs
What does real progress look like when nobody's watching? This deeply personal conversation dives into the hidden victories of mental health improvement that rarely make it to our social media feeds.
We start by unpacking the strange reality of modern achievement – how drinking enough water or making small mental health gains somehow feels insignificant compared to things we can showcase on TikTok. This toxic mindset has us devaluing our most meaningful progress simply because it's invisible to others. From emotional breakthroughs in therapy to the quiet discipline of consistent workouts, we examine how the most significant life changes often happen beneath the surface.
The conversation takes a candid turn as we discuss recent mental health struggles, including a breakthrough moment during an emotional breakdown where effective communication replaced complete shutdown – evidence that therapy is working, even when it doesn't feel like it. We share vulnerable reflections on comparing ourselves to others, the pressure of milestones, and learning to value growth that isn't immediately visible or validated by others.
Physical health features prominently as we explore evolving fitness goals that prioritize strength and functionality over appearance. Lisa shares her impressive milestone of 99 pounds lost over five years, demonstrating remarkable patience in her approach to hitting the 100-pound mark. Meanwhile, our humorous tangent about whether 200-pound abductor strength qualifies someone for dragon-riding provides a much-needed laugh.
As we wrap up with weekly goal-setting and pull an eerily appropriate card reminding us to "give yourself the same love that you pour out into the world," we challenge you to reflect: What invisible victories are you not giving yourself credit for? How might you begin celebrating the progress that matters most, even when nobody else can see it?
Do you have a story you would like to share? Send it to us at theweightingroompc@gmail.com
Disclaimer: We are not Medical professionals and all views and opinions are our own.
all right, hello chris, hello lisa. How are things?
Speaker 2:going. Uh, I don't know. I'm in a weird place right now. Like you know, I'm not gonna talk about it on the podcast, but um like I have.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I feel like that was like a no white moment. I wasn't trying to do that, it was just a I get it uh, yeah, no, I'm not gonna go deep into it anyway.
Speaker 2:Also, I feel like the last two episodes my personal opinion it's been the Christine show. You can tell when I'm frustrated with myself when I full first name. Uh, I just had a mental I don't want to say breakdown because it wasn't, no, it was a mental breakdown yesterday. So, uh, and, and it goes with the things that I'm struggling with right now. So I don't know, my energy is a little bit low today. I had goals I wanted to start yesterday, march 1st. They're getting pushed to tomorrow because I just have to be in the well, that's my cat on my foot deal with my emotions right now. And you know I keep thinking, sorry, I'm just gonna like go into it a little bit.
Speaker 2:I keep thinking that I am not successful in whatever it is that I'm trying to accomplish right now, and I think it's because in the last four years I kept one-upping myself in a TikTok video in a way, and now it's like getting back to basics and doing all these small little things. I feel like, wow, like you're like doing nothing because you can't show other people. Do you know what I mean? Like yeah, which is such a weird thing, because like logical me is like that's ridiculous. Um, but I think it's getting wrapped up in a social media world that I'm like, well, if I'm not going on a 5k run, what's the point? Like, oh, I drank all my water today. It's like, but that is a good thing and it's like a little accomplishment. And essentially I am just trying to refocus and get off social media in a way, while I'm still scrolling endlessly all day because I'm obsessed with the bad baby in Alabama Barker's situation, because I'm I think I'm 17.
Speaker 2:I have no idea what you're talking about posted on my Instagram yesterday and I'm like I am turning 41 this year, but I could tell you every single detail about the Alabama Barker bad baby situation. I could tell you every word of bad babies. Do you even know what I'm talking about? Not a clue.
Speaker 1:Catch me outside okay, yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:So you had to millennialize it for me her name's danielle and then she went by bad baby to be a rapper. Alabama barker oh my god, I'm actually gonna. I'm gonna go quick. Alabama barker is javas barker's daughter. Um, you know landon barker. He dated charlie d'amelio at one point why do I know about?
Speaker 2:teenage drama that's tiktok does that to you? I just you go down rabbit holes at two in the morning and you're like, why do I care? I should be sleeping, I'm old, uh. But yeah, like uh, alabama Barker was starting beef with her, and because Travis now is dating the Kardashians bad baby song like drag the Kardashians a bit, and it's like, oh, anyway, that's, that's what life when you're not working. It's like you know all about these teenagers when yet I'm like their dad's age.
Speaker 1:I don't know I will say it like out of the hype house era. The only one that I still follow not still, I never followed any of them to begin with, but like the only one I follow now is Alex Warren um, that is, he's the one who's saying that, um, that, ah. What's the title of it?
Speaker 2:burn it down, or burn the house down, I think I know who you're talking about, because then didn't he out the fact that, like the hype house sucked or something? Yeah, okay, so I didn't even know he was a mutual owner at the very beginning.
Speaker 1:and then then, yeah, and he just had a new song that came out that was called Ordinary. That's like all over fantasy TikTok right now. And then he started reading Fourth Wing and he's like I would love to have my song in this movie. And I was like boy, everybody wants to have that song in the movie.
Speaker 2:It's so good, the only reason I knew who like Charlie D'Amelio was and what is that guy's name? Um, he's like he was an actor. He was just in a movie that was like a rom, a romantic drama, I don't know. It's on the tip of my tongue. Whatever, these are teenagers. Well, they're not teenagers anymore.
Speaker 2:I know they're in their 20s, yeah but like there was this uh Facebook video or YouTube, it was before I joined TikTok and it was this photographer taking like the demelios and that other girl that was best friends with charlie, she was blonde, she yeah, it begins with an a allison, yeah, yes whatever something like that allison ray out something like that yeah, um gosh, that's gonna bug me now, because it's just like I can't. You know, when you like, know these things, but you can't say it and we're on a podcast it's just like I can't you know when.
Speaker 2:You like know these things, but you can't say it and we're on a podcast. It's not like we can play charades here, uh, anyway, they were doing funny photographs of them and I was like wow, and they were getting recognized on the boardwalk. I'm like who are these people? Because you it was the kind of reaction you'd have to like a celebrity like Leonardo DiCaprio or something, and then I looked them up.
Speaker 2:I'm like these people are just on tiktok and then that's when I realized that tiktok was just wow and that's like when james charles was hanging out with them and yes, whatnot.
Speaker 1:That's gonna really bug me what that guy's name is whole like that was a whole other, like back before dixie was even a pop star she couldn't dance seeing TikTok become like the new way that celebrities were, like influencers blew up, like during COVID it was just like everything just blew up at that time in that, in that niche, because beforehand it was like you had to be in a movie or in a big show to make it big and like it had to be a show.
Speaker 1:That was like everybody was talking about it or they were doing big advertisements on it all the time. During the other big shows, like there was, there was nothing like this, where it was just word of mouth of like, sharing it to this person. And sharing it to this person it's like oh, you gotta watch this, oh you gotta watch this, and it was just it to this person. And sharing it to this person it's like oh, you gotta watch this, oh you gotta watch this, and it was just. I don't. I still don't understand how charlie blew up the way that she did.
Speaker 2:Like it just, but like so many people like even, even, like think of the cool I was talking about bad baby like getting popular because she went on dr phil and said catch me outside. But um, going back to that, I don't know how.
Speaker 1:Let's not even talk about dr phil because not licensed. Still on tv, like it, he's, he's helping ice now like not helping.
Speaker 2:He's going out while ice are detaining people. He's like how do you feel? Do you like being illegal or whatever? And it's like what, why are you out there?
Speaker 1:Oh my God. Let's not go down that rabbit hole Going back to bad baby Like seriously.
Speaker 2:I actually found it inspiring because she just went through cancer and cancer treatment, lost all her hair, and then someone starts beef with her and she's like, oh no, put that to the side. And she like doesn't let it stand in the way of getting her business done. And I was like that's pretty inspiring, even though, like I don't know how you go about like doing the beef that you have, like, please don't catch someone at the mall again. Um, how did I get onto that topic, by the way?
Speaker 2:uh man I was having a mental breakdown, yeah that's. I don't even, I don't even remember, but I essentially I was kind of just saying that like I'm having a rough go of it, uh oh, small changes, and then I was talking about social media and how that. That just kind of went down yeah thanks, you're welcome.
Speaker 1:So anyway, Because I'm not the only one who thought it Like, there's somebody else out there who yeah, anyways.
Speaker 2:Essentially the thing that I'm not talking about yesterday, when I was having a really, really, really, really really bad day, it's something that would have consumed me for days after. And today I am at least up off the couch and like I got ready, so I can tell the difference and I believe that, like my therapy is helping me.
Speaker 2:but also I really opened up to Rams yesterday and I just said, like you know, that TikTok trend, where it's, we listen and we don't judge that was what we had last night, because I'm like you're about to experience every thought that's going to go on in my head, because I'm going to say it out loud so that you know what I'm going through right now. And I did, and he didn't judge me because I even got into the part where, like when I spiral, I spiral and then I start talking about the fact like we're not even engaged yet. And I told him I'm like this isn't me trying to like, come down on you right now. This is just where my brain goes when I think about all the other things that we spent money on and whatnot.
Speaker 2:And then I'm like, and then it gets really chaotic and I'm like, do you even love me? Like why are we together? And then, but yet we both know like marriage isn't like the most important thing to me. But when I'm spiraling I can't help um, compare myself to others. My nephew got surprised married yesterday. My nephew was born right after I graduated high school and he has a baby on the way and I'm like, and I'm almost 41.
Speaker 2:And I'm just, and so you know that's part of like my spiraling. In no way am I not happy for him, it's just part of where my brain went and he, rams, didn't judge me and just felt really good and it was like it was a window into him seeing what's going on with me, and I was able to come out of it. Lisa talked to me two hours before what was going on and I was fine. And then I sent her a text message and said I'm not in a good place and sent her a voice note. And it was like a complete 180 and it again I would have not been able to send the voice note to Lisa because I would have been in such a deep hole and the fact that I was able to still talk to her two hours later. It's just, it's an improvement and unfortunately, okay, I feel great talking about on the podcast, me thinking like these small improvements are nothing because it's like it's you can't see it, I didn't like lose 50 pounds or I didn't.
Speaker 1:There isn't, it's not visible to other people, but it's like it's visible to me and I would say you know what I mean yeah, for people who have been on the podcast for this long, like if people have been listening from the start, I would say it's visible to us because it was like what? Episode two, three, four where you're like I will never see a counselor, I am not going to counseling, like you were totally against the idea of any type of therapy ever. And now look at where you are today. Yeah, like you have had so much mental growth, like it's just incredible to see where you were to where you are now and it feels rough now because you ripped a band-aid it really does.
Speaker 2:I was thinking about the fact that I was like, why did I end up going to therapy? Why did I ask to have this psychological diagnosis, like the whatever, the testing official? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was because I felt I had hit rock bottom, because, like everything that was going on my thoughts, my reactions to things, realizing that, like I was even asking questions to people at work, I'm like this happened to me on my way and like this was my reaction to it, like how would you guys have reacted? And they're like, like they see nothing, the issue, like an issue with it, and I was like Jesus, like, and yet it was like huge to me, you know, and like I just realized that, okay, like I'm seeing the world from a completely different lens than everyone else and this isn't okay anymore.
Speaker 2:And like I thought about all the friends I've lost along the way and like my fear, like the absolute fear that a lot of you are now going to hear of meeting people that have I've connected with on TikTok and them thinking like I'm nothing, like what I am online and it's just because of what's been put into my head from other people. And then, like I meet them and they're like no, you're the. They're exact same online. But then I'm like am I just really good at masking? Anyway, these are just. I'm just rambling at this point because these are just thoughts that are constantly going on in my head and it's really tiring up here, um, but I'm able to organize them a little bit better now. So, yay, yay, oh, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I feel like I just Ible too much. The whole reason we're here is because we get to say whatever the fuck we want. So we're saying whatever the fuck we want.
Speaker 2:We're worse than men with microphones. Honestly, I think the podcast did help as well, because it's just like talking and talking and then realizing, like, like, like you've said, said, and everyone that's listened has probably seen my extreme up and downs and and even if anyone out there thinks that those are extremes, oh jesus, that was nothing. So like there you go and yay, things are just gonna get better.
Speaker 1:And um, I have been drinking a lot more water and things that I said I was gonna ask how your water goal was, because that's what we said last week or the week before I was gonna make a coffee, um, to sit here with you.
Speaker 2:And then I was like, no, just grab some ice and water and have that. And this is my second one today. Um, nice, and for how many did you have yesterday? I honestly haven't been keeping count. I just go up there and fill it with the ice.
Speaker 1:That's so good, though, like not being able to keep count is way better than. Oh, I didn't have any yesterday, so I'm proud of you.
Speaker 2:You're killing it and also my dehyd, my dehydrator. I'm gonna pull it out again because when you talked about the strawberries and your lemonade and stuff and I have lemonade meal, I'm like I'm gonna dehydrate some strawberries so that I can just have them on hand all the time. That's a great idea. Yeah, because I think it would be cheaper to doing it that way, like when I see strawberries on sale and then just like cutting them up and doing them that way. It might be more cost efficient.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do notice a difference between the dehydrated strawberries and the freeze-dried strawberries though, because the dehydrated more are like gummy, I find Like, because they're almost raisin like, versus the, uh, freeze-dried ones. It's like when they get wet it just turns back into strawberries yeah, it's the.
Speaker 2:With the dehydrated ones, I was thinking like when, when it's in the water, it'll like slowly reach, so I can just like keep reusing that that day and then just eat them at the end yes, eating them is the best part.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let me know how it works out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and like for breakfast today I actually had, um, a bag of salad with a little bit of that already made chicken. Those hundred grand ones. Yes, uh, because I just couldn't think of the, the Mexican style one from Costco the, oh, the Mexican corn.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, it's delicious.
Speaker 2:My favorite. I actually use a little bit less of the sauce and put sour cream in it. Or I'll put even less of the sauce, a little bit of the sour cream and add a whole avocado to it. Oh my god it's.
Speaker 1:It was advertised with sobies that the pizza ranch one was coming back in a full salad. We don't have a sobeys in our area so I haven't been able to find one, but man, when I find them that my cart entirely will be that salad um, when you said sobeys, I thought of save-ons and it just blew my do you have a save-ons in?
Speaker 2:no, that's your way. So save ones. Uh, there's three of them in the lower mainland here that sell alcohol. I walked in to the north shore, a north side one and right when I walked in it was like bc wines. And I was just staring at the aisle. I'm like, okay, this has to be non-alcoholics. I go over. I'm like 13, what? So? I ask her I'm like what's going on? Because I'm pretty sure the same ones near me don't have them. She's like, oh, there's only like three locations. Um, and yeah, we started this like three years ago. Have I been living in a hole? What the heck? And she said they're only BC like, and I think that's super cool because it's like putting Canada first.
Speaker 1:Yay, just this summer uh Costco started selling alcohol in Ontario what yeah, like you can buy. Like the big cooler packs huge bottles of wine, big cases of beer wow, yeah, we.
Speaker 2:I loved going down to the states and like getting with the bigger versions of things. I mean like not anymore since the dollar sucks. Yeah, which Ramsams and I are going to vegas in like a month and a half now.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, it is really close. Yeah, oh my god, it's in april right, I am yes I am stoked for wrestling like dude.
Speaker 2:I am getting so into it because it's the women. The women have made me super into wrestling because okay, so like when men are like punching each other in wrestling, I'm like it's just too obvious you're not making content a contact. I really hate it. But the women will grab a girl with both legs, whip around in the air and bring her to the ground.
Speaker 2:I'm like wow. And Liv Morgan I know their names now. She was all bloodied and crap last night in the elimination chamber and I was like this is amazing. Anyway, super into it, I love Rhea.
Speaker 1:Ridley.
Speaker 2:I'm getting a new vest. I am going to like, I'm going to do a trend where it's like day one of WrestleMania. And then by day five. I'm literally going to do a like jump from a chair onto Rams, like with my elbow. I love that. It's going to be so great. We're there for just over a week, so oh my.
Speaker 1:God, that's so good and I'm going to go to the Sphere we already have tickets for the Sphere Nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what the Sphere is right we already have tickets for the sphere nice yeah you know what the sphere is right? Yeah, yeah, yeah okay, okay, I was like just make sure um, it totally changes the skyline for vegas, because, oh for sure I remember when I went when I was younger and that's what we thought of the um, the luxor, the pyramid, like from the airport.
Speaker 1:It totally changed it, but anyway, I'm really excited my life right now yeah, I want to know I have a pimple right here um, that we're gonna talk about, because it's so big and so sore. It literally felt like right, this one here.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay but like I got this is.
Speaker 1:It's hard to see now because I've used two pimple patches on it in the last 12 hours. It finally got the whitehead this morning and I was like patch. And then I went to the gym, made breakfast, all that stuff, and then swapped out and like new patch because it was just. It literally felt like I was punched in the face like last night, brandon and I were chilling reading.
Speaker 1:We were reading onyx storm right now, no spoilers, please and we were, uh, we're reading and I started getting tired and I was yawning and it was hurting to yawn so I was like I need to go to bed because it literally hurts to not sleep right now. So that's what I have. That's exciting in my life. Actually, I hit a new PR today on the chest press. That was really exciting.
Speaker 2:I was gonna I was actually gonna interrupt you with a whole another thing, because I'm like what are you talking about? You have, like you're accomplishing all these things. You got a cute new outfit oh yeah, I guess I like the hell she gets on the podcast and forgets everything I suck, I've lost no weight, like what um, I hit a new pr today at the gym.
Speaker 1:uh, I'm struggling a little bit with the gym. Uh, not going to the gym, but like I need to figure out a better routine, honestly, because I have goals I want to hit. I had somebody on the um on tiktok ask me like what's my gym routine? How do I get started? And it's like my routine is no longer a beginner's routine. Like I've been going to the gym since 2019, you know, took a break in 2022 there while I was having a baby, and then, after Harper was born in 2023, I started going back to the gym. And, especially last year, my gym routine really shifted Cause, like when I first started going to the gym, I think it was the cliche I need to lose weight, so I need to start going to the gym thing. But then, as I started going to the gym, I realized, okay, my weight loss needs to come from what I'm eating and the gym is more like my heart health, like your heart rate, the fat on your heart, like your lungs, like it's just that, yeah, and eventually muscles, right.
Speaker 1:And it was just like how do I move my body? How do I like body? Health, I guess, was what it turned into. It was no longer a weight thing, it was just a health thing in general, which is hard to differentiate sometimes because, like we say, like oh, I'm losing weight for my health, but like you have to attack it with different ways, there's more to your health than just your weight. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So at that time, like five years ago, when I first started going to the gym, it was like find the machines that you enjoy and find a routine of stuff that you just like to do, so that you're moving your body and you feel good moving your body. Versus now, it's like I want a really good butt, so I need to focus on this workout and like this workout does this and this workout does this and this workout does this. And even like, when you're like, oh, you're going to do a leg press, that's great. If your leg is positioned this way, it'll hit this or this. If your leg is positioned this way, it'll hit this or this. Like there's so much more of a deep dive into what I'm doing right now that it's just, it's not beginner anymore.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying I'm you know top-notch fitness person, but no, I get what you mean. Yeah, are you still using the heavy app? Yes, okay, I paid for that and then, but to be fair, it was like six dollars or something, I don't remember.
Speaker 1:It was something ridiculously cheap yeah, for the year it was a great price yeah uh, you even talking.
Speaker 2:Remember how I said like one day it's gonna snap in my head that, like it might snap in my head like why I want to go to the gym, or like I won't want to work against it, and just you talking about it. I feel like I just worded that wrong, so you're like, no, I don't remember you talking about that, but, um, no, no.
Speaker 1:I know what you're talking about. It's yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I think that this injury is just like my all-seeing eye I don't know how to say it, but like I just need to strengthen myself. I want to go and hike up the gross grind this summer. I've missed it so many times since that first time because of all these lower injuries I keep getting. Whether there's plantar fasciitis my left knee, my right knee, like my what was that thing that snapped in my calf, I don't even remember, but it's like I'm so sick of it and I just need to strengthen myself. Whether it's like the slow, just doing squats with no weights and whatever.
Speaker 2:And it's like you whatever you just said just triggered in my head that it's like that's all I'm going to focus on. I just want to get, have strength. I don't want to go to the gym to lose weight, I don't want to go on the treadmill, I don't want to do the cardio things, I just want to go and lift weights. And I still think it's um mind-numbing because it's boring, because you're just standing there lifting things. But like I'm going to try and figure out a way to make a game out of it without trying to up myself all the time.
Speaker 1:I stopped listening to music and started listening to my books, because now I'm focused on what's happening in my book and and, honestly, girl, listening to these like fantasy books, like you want to be these women like you are, like I'm gonna go to war, I'm gonna ride a fucking dragon and I'm going to kick some ass, but I can't do that with the state right now. So, you know what, on the abductor, I do 200 pounds on the abductor. So, like I could, I think I could ride a dragon. I need, I need to find the math. Yeah, I know Wow.
Speaker 2:Not to toot my own horn, but like yeah, I love it, like wow, okay, so my goal is to get to Lisa's um level here.
Speaker 1:That's my goal in life, not trying to toot my own horn, but it's just like that is like I can squeeze 200 pounds with my thighs do you remember last episode where I said that, like I want to be inspiring, I don't want to follow influencers.
Speaker 2:I'll still follow you because?
Speaker 1:like seriously like you're inspiring me right now I need to know, I need to google it now. How like, how strong do your thighs? She's gonna go test it on a horse.
Speaker 2:She's gonna go like ride bareback and then it's gonna kick up and you're gonna see if you can stay on with just with your leg power it all depends on dragon speed.
Speaker 1:We are not counting. I don't know what show they're talking about here in this season or Game of Thrones. I'm gonna say I'd say for 125 to 150 miles per hour when flying over a city, but it doesn't say how strong. I mean, that's really fast, like I'd also really need to bundle up, you know I love this like 200 pounds is strong, but how do people ride a horse bareback?
Speaker 1:it's most question of balance. Horses don't do flips, though. I mean that's fair, that's fair, but you gotta like hold on. I'm gonna have to find this and and come back to it so that I'm not wasting up our time here, but when's your next um weigh-in wednesday? Uh, wednesday yeah are you?
Speaker 2:are you peaking?
Speaker 1:no, I'm not. I do have a doctor's point. I'm gonna put a pin in that. Sorry, I'm pausing the dragon thing. I was still opening it but I just minimized it and I need to know how strong my legs need to be here to ride a dragon. Maybe I should test it at um, like one of those bull riding things at a bar. You know what I mean oh, yeah, right those are fucking hard dude I think, if I can do that, then I could probably ride a dragon I. I feel like, maybe not.
Speaker 2:I feel like I would have to stay on for a long time yeah, I feel like that's wavy yeah, do I get a saddle?
Speaker 1:is the question here. Anyways, um, uh, my next way, okay, oh, but what I was saying is, if you listen to these books, they make you feel like really empowered and like, really like I want to be this person and it just makes me want to be strong. So that's what makes me keep going and plus the drama that happens in these are just so good. But, um, my next weigh-in's on Wednesday. Last Wednesday I weighed in um at 306, which means I am at 99 pounds lost. I have not been peaking because I'm not peaking, because, like, if it goes up and then in my head it's like now it needs to be two and blah, blah, blah. So it's like I'm just, I'm not even peaking, I'm just leaving it.
Speaker 1:But tomorrow I do have another way in because I have an appointment at the weight loss clinic. But I'm not reading into that way in because it's also at a different time, it's at one o'clock, so, like, like, usually I weigh myself at somewhere between 3 am and 6 am, depending on what I got going on that day. So, yeah, and I'm not even like holding my breath for Wednesday, because it's one of those things where and I got that comment a lot when I posted about it, of people saying, like how are you not stepping on the scale like every second to hit that 100 pounds lost? And it's like I've been trying for five years now to hit that 100 pounds lost and it just feels like I feel like I'd be cheating, if you know. It's like, oh, I had Taco Bell and had a big poop, so I probably hit pounds lost, like you know what I mean. Like I don't, I don't want to hit it that way. I want to hit it the way I've been doing it so patiently waiting for Wednesday to see what happens.
Speaker 2:I'm excited for you, but whichever way it goes, I can't take away from everything that you've been doing, oh yeah. Especially your PR there with the gym gym, like you know. It's just there's so many aspects to look at and I'm like it'll get there, you're killing it, like I'm not stressing because I know it'll get there.
Speaker 1:It takes, however time it takes. I have my goals for this year that I'm going to keep pushing for. But if I don't get it, it's not because I didn't try to get it. That's if I sat here and haven't been doing anything. And then I'm sitting there and it's like why can't I reach my goals? That's because you're not fucking doing anything. But if I didn't reach it and I gave it my all, then I'm still proud of myself for doing everything that I could do yeah, oh, super random.
Speaker 2:Um, I'm gonna start using the. I don't know if it's gonna be blurred, but it's sitting up there on my shelf. I'm gonna start using the hula hoop again. Look at all the shit up there.
Speaker 2:There's a song about getting one of those uh it, I really like it, like you don't sweat too much but you really feel it in like your butt and like your thighs, cause you're moving back and forth. Actually, everyone does it differently, but the way that I do it I'm not pivoting my knee and swirling that way because because of my bad knees right now. So I'm stepping back and forth cause I need that movement. But you know, I really I liked it. I, oh my God, I really hope it still fits. Fits because I did buy it when I was, when I weighed less. Uh, anyway, okay. Well, if that doesn't fit, I'll find something else.
Speaker 2:Yesterday I did go on a walk. My mom and I went to go get hot dogs and then we walked um more than I have been doing the last few months, but still not too much, because I was wearing my knee brace. I got to be very careful, uh, and it did start paining me later on in the night. But I'm still optimistic that I can go back to work. So I see my doctor this week and hopefully we can have that discussion. But my insurance company is trying to like fast track, a meeting with an orthopedic surgeon, so like it's just like everything's kind of in limbo right now. Um and I, I just, I'm just gonna stick with my physio because things have gotten better. I just, uh, I live with a chronic ACL tear, you know, and so things just happen sometimes. Oh anyway, yay me, yay Lisa yes, we're doing things.
Speaker 2:I think that this week, personally, I'm going to continue with my water. I'm going to maybe have a look at that book you're talking about and, if I have to do an audiobook while reading, the thing is, I don't want to just do an audiobook, I want to read along with it yeah but I go back and forth yeah, like I'll listen to it in the car or I'll listen to it at the gym or whatever, but then when I'm at home, I'm reading it.
Speaker 1:But I'm having a really I actually just had this conversation with Brandon I'm struggling with retaining the information as I'm reading it. I prefer the audiobook. So what I think I'm going to do is I'm going to listen to the audiobook while I read it yeah um, which, uh, there is a proper term for that, for that type of reader, and I can't remember what it is. And everybody says that they're the crazy ones, but I don't care.
Speaker 2:I'll take the title. No, that's actually I. I am the same way.
Speaker 2:I can't retain the information, uh, normally when I'm just reading it uh sometimes reading it out loud will help me, but then I'm disturbing everyone around me, uh, but getting back whenever I'm trying to get back into reading audiobooks kind of keep me on track.
Speaker 2:I have a really, really bad habit of going to read and I will have to read the first paragraph probably 10 times, because every time I start reading it I start drifting into my own thoughts.
Speaker 2:Yes, and it's so hard to stay focused, and I do believe social media and the short videos and all that have really had a massive impact on that, which is why I'm slowly stepping away from social media, from where I once was. A lot of my videos are just me updating, talking to the camera, or I'm really utilizing Instagram stories a lot more these days. I'm really utilizing Instagram stories a lot more these days because they're short-lived and I'm just talking to a smaller audience of people that are invested in my not invested, but no, they're invested in my accomplishments, like what I'm doing with my life, but they're also interested in things I have to say Like I get a lot of engagement on things that aren't even about weight loss or any of those types of things. So I don't know, it's just, it's a different, it's a different world over on Instagram and something I never utilize, and I'm enjoying it right now yeah, it's sometimes you get really different, though, yeah especially if your video lands on the Facebook side and then those comments are coming over.
Speaker 1:It's like, oh, facebook's scary oh man, I know, facebook is like Facebook is the new YouTube. And the problem with Facebook is you also get like the older generation who just they don't understand how public it really is they also just don't understand things that are AI.
Speaker 2:They don't understand things that are obviously satire, like it's even tripped me up. Sometimes it's tripped Rams up and Rams is younger than me. So yeah, one thing I keep noticing hey, do you like my middle part? Yes, more than a side part.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't say more or less, but I liked it, I did. I did notice that I was actually going to ask you when. Uh, cause you were telling me you were getting your hair done and I was going to ask when your hair appointment is. And now it seems like I'm asking that because of how your hair is right now.
Speaker 2:And that's ugly. Don't worry, I'm getting my hair done in April, cause I don't want to have to then redo it again.
Speaker 1:For right and so it's before the trip.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but like my roots are so long that obviously I haven't cared in a while.
Speaker 1:So actually, when did I come see you? November, that's when I last got my hair done. Yeah, yeah, november. So I've been thinking about going to get my hair done. Actually, I don't want to cut it short, but I do want to add like some depth to it and back and forth on if I'm going to add color or not, because I don't know it's a lot. It's a lot to keep up with if I do it myself, it's a lot on me if I get somebody to do it. It's a lot financially and it's like. So I don't know, I haven't decided yet, but Harper goes for her first haircut next Saturday really I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:I was like trying to think because I don't know anything about um ages, when kids get things done. She has.
Speaker 1:She will be three in August. She I've cut her bangs because it just they just go in her eyes, right. So I've done that myself. But now her hair is halfway down her back, uh. So it's just so long and I'm like I feel like we need to get this cut for the summer, like you know, fresh cut, and I've told myself I wasn't going to cut her hair unless a it became too much for me to manage, or b like she wanted it cut and it's like she's not saying she wants it cut. But it's one of those things where it's like she doesn't want me to put her hair up and it's just getting to the point of, yeah, it needs it so you think she's gonna be like I have no idea we're taking her to an actual like.
Speaker 1:These people specialize in toddler haircuts, so there's like this little sports car that they sit in and they get to drive and everything, and uh, there's it's, it's for kids, so I'm sure you're gonna videotape it, so I can't wait to see it sorry, everyone at home.
Speaker 2:I'm special it's good so I we do have time crunches now. We can't stay on these things forever. So, uh, goals for me water I am. I did say either last episode of the one before, that I was going to read half a book. That never happened. But this week things are going to change for me. I know, I know so many of you keep hearing that and and I'm hearing, I'm, I'm saying it, so I hear it, but there has to be a punishment if I don't do this. No, I can't punish myself, but I don't know. I'm going to come back next weekend when Lisa and I are talking, because we've been pretty consistent doing this, and I will have read half a book and I will tell you what that book was about. And if you don't want to hear it, that's your fault.
Speaker 1:What book are you going to read?
Speaker 2:God, the sirens are coming for me.
Speaker 1:They already know.
Speaker 2:It's. What book are you gonna read? God, the sirens are coming for me. They already know. No, it's my punishment. I don't know. Um, there was a book that I was reading that I stopped, but I don't really know if I want to get back into it.
Speaker 1:I don't know I don't know yet. Uh, piece of advice don't read a self-help book no, I know, trust me, I'm like even going to get out of there, go into like the like doesn't have to be fantasy or whatever, but just a book that gets you out of the world.
Speaker 2:I was going to actually suggest for us to read a self-help book where we can discuss it on the podcast, but also I fucking hate self-help books, so I kind of want to put this out there for anyone that's still listening to this podcast. If you know a self-help book that you think lisa and I would both enjoy and that isn't toxic, could you recommend it to us?
Speaker 2:so then we can maybe have a little gander and maybe maybe also that it's like not dictionary size I'm also okay, if you have a recommendation that isn't self-help books as well but I do think it would be cool, like I, to try and read one and discuss it together, because I can't read them on my own.
Speaker 1:I don't know I don't find them have you looked at the let them theory, that book that's going around right now i've've never heard of it.
Speaker 1:It's like I'd have to look up who the author is. We were just talking about it yesterday with a group of people, but and I'd seen it on TikTok, where it's like the idea of anxiety and how you can't control everybody around you. So it's like if this person wants to go do this, let them, like it's just a let them go do this. Let them like it's just a, let them. Um. I have been interested in reading that one, but honestly, right now I'm finishing onyx storm, which is the third book of this fourth wing series. They're the empyrean series, um. And then there's another book that me and my friend are reading, so we saw this thing that was on um. I want to look up the the name of this book.
Speaker 2:Sorry, just a sec while you're looking that up, though, I was gonna say it's gonna be the Matthew Perry book. Sorry, oh, that you're reading. I bought it right before he passed away and then, when he passed away, I'm like I don't want to read this um and now I'm like I'm gonna read it. So anyway, sorry, that's what I'm gonna do no, no, that's fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a good book. No, that's not. I haven't read it. That's a good choice is what I was trying to say. Um, so I saw this video on Instagram where, like a group of friends picked a book and it was kind of like the sisterhood of the traveling pants, where they would read the book and make notes in it or make drawings in it or like put sticky notes in it and then pass it to the next friend and then they would do the same thing, and then it gets passed to the next friend and then they would do the same thing.
Speaker 1:So my friend bought the book, uh, last weekend or the weekend before, and I don't want to butcher the title, so I'm just trying to find what it was. I'm already past it. Hold on one sec. Uh, that's book three. So book one is that time I got drunk and saved a demon, yeah, so that is. And it looks like it's got a little bit of smut, got a little bit of fantasy, you know.
Speaker 1:So we're like well, let's give this one a go because, we didn't want like a super serious book, especially after reading the series where it's like war and fighting and love and blah blah. With this one it seems like not exactly like that vibe we. It's more like rom-com vibes. So, um, yeah, we're reading that one, she's reading it, making all the notes and then so that's next in my list. That isn't, that isn't onyx storm.
Speaker 2:Um, and then we can add our book next sweet, I'll mail it to you so you can add your sticky notes. Awesome, uh, goals for you.
Speaker 1:I mean, honestly, I really want to sit and rework out my workouts and make an actual plan for my workouts. I have a pretty good sturdy plan right now. I got push, pull and then push, pull, hinge. No, that's not right. I got push, squat, pull, hinge days. That's why I kept hiccuping. So like I have that laid out right now. So I'm still getting full body workouts and all that and that's really good, but I feel like I haven't been running. But that's because my knees have been bugging me. I really need to get a brace for my left knee, um, and I just don't want to push it. So now that it's better I shouldn't be able to start running this week? Actually, that's my goal. I'm going to go for a run this week because I haven't run.
Speaker 2:But I want to sit and actually figure out this day is for this, this day is for this, this day is for this, and make a schedule you know it'd be super cool if you ever had time is like doing a workout schedule, like Monday's workouts and everything, and having that on your heavy so that people at home, if they want to see what you're doing or like want to try and like do something similar, that they can follow you and add those routines to theirs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do something similar that they can follow you and add those routines to theirs. Yeah, right now, I do have the none to run routine listed on the heavy app, uh, which is like the running schedule that I do. I also have my push and pull workouts listed on there Push, pull, yeah, whatever I just said, if you want me to, if anybody wants me to go more into that for an episode, I can't, but I'm not going to do it right now and um, so, everything that I can't but I'm not going to do it right now, and um, so everything that I am doing, my work for my workouts is on heavy and it's the same username as my instagram and tiktok the fat underscore and underscore, fit underscore, mom, nice, yeah, there's no a, h, e, v, y just yeah for the heavy app yeah, you want to listen.
Speaker 2:Bitch real quick um, yeah, I don't know why did I think about that?
Speaker 1:um thinking listen bitch.
Speaker 1:I'm surprised my energy just kind of like shifted there where I'm like I'm not gonna do much talking and I'm like that's okay, literally after we're done here, we're gonna go out there and harper's been watching gabby's dollhouse, and then I'm going to uh, read my book. I need to see what's up ready. Yes, this is our card, this is our fate. Listen, bitch, give yourself the same love that you pour out into the world. Well then, I think we've done that one before, but you know what the cards speak, and they tell us what we need to hear at this moment it's literally something I keep trying to tell myself.
Speaker 2:It's like I need to show, even like myself, the grace that I show everyone else and stop being so harsh on myself.
Speaker 1:It's really hard yeah, it is hard. Well, you just said, if I don't accomplish this, I need a punishment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly it's and and see, that was where it's so easy to walk the line of reverting back to your toxic thoughts, you know, and then be like wait a minute, especially when you say it out loud like wow, that's something pretty stupid and not something I'd say Like Lisa, if you don't hit 100 pounds this week, you better punish yourself, like what?
Speaker 1:Never, oh my gosh, gosh.
Speaker 2:anyway, this is good I think next week.
Speaker 1:No, I don't want to do that. Ignore what I was gonna say. We'll never know all right bye, bye, everybody, yay yay.