The Weighting Room Podcast
The Weighting Room Podcast
My Big Fat Mouth: Pick a Lane: The White Bean Chicken Chili Incident
When your spouse eats the lunch you've been saving then has the audacity to say "you wouldn't have liked it anyway," where do you draw the line? This thought-provoking episode explores the surprisingly complex world of food boundaries in relationships through a Reddit post that struck a chord with our hosts.
The saga begins with a woman discovering her husband took her frozen White Bean Chicken Chili without asking, decided he didn't like it, and threw it away without consideration. When confronted, rather than apologizing, he became defensive and told her to "pick a lane." This seemingly small incident creates a springboard for a fascinating discussion about respect, consideration, and communication in partnerships.
Our hosts share their own hilarious and relatable food boundary stories – from meticulously labeled leftovers to chaotic grocery shopping trips that nearly end in "divorce." One host describes implementing elaborate systems to prevent food mix-ups, including taking photos of labeled containers and strategically buying flavors her partner won't touch. Another recounts a Costco expedition with her husband that devolved into chaos when he couldn't follow simple instructions like "stay in this aisle" or "don't add anything to the cart."
Beyond the laughs, we explore how these seemingly trivial food disputes often reflect deeper relationship dynamics. Is it really about the missing chocolate bar, or about feeling your boundaries aren't respected? Are grocery shopping incompatibilities just quirky differences, or signals of more fundamental communication issues? The conversation delivers useful insights on navigating shared spaces, establishing clear boundaries, and understanding when separate systems might be the key to domestic harmony.
Looking for more relationship insights and hilarious real-life stories? Follow us on social media – we might be going live for our next recording session!
Do you have a story you would like to share? Send it to us at theweightingroompc@gmail.com
Disclaimer: We are not Medical professionals and all views and opinions are our own.
hi lisa hi chris I wasn't sure if you were gonna remember to say hi well, you know, it's not like we've been recording already uh, it hasn't been an hour whole new day.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's get into this. We're doing another. What do we call this segment?
Speaker 2:we didn't even say it the last time we did this. No, we didn't, no, and then we're gonna say it again. Did you put it in the notes? Is it in the notes? You made notes, remember. We were gonna make notes, you where's those notes about our goals?
Speaker 1:we're not doing that today.
Speaker 2:Oh no, but we wrote down the title too. Oh, did we? Yes, my big fat mouth, our big fat mouths, my big fat mouth, yeah, my big fat mouth, my big fat mouth, yeah, my big fat mouth yeah. Yeah, yep, yep, yep Cause.
Speaker 1:I do like our big fat mouth. It just doesn't roll off the tongue as easy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my big fat mouth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, my notes in here were all about our goals and stuff, so yeah, we're going to ignore those, because who cares about goals on this podcast? Not us, okay.
Speaker 2:Am I the?
Speaker 1:asshole. My husband made himself a this is a very long title. My husband made himself a frozen meal for lunch and complained it was disgusting and threw it away. I felt bad and offered to let him have the one that I've been saving for myself, only to discover that what he had thrown away was my lunch. I then got upset at him and told him and he told me to pick a lane okay, first of all, who's elaine? You're a dork. This is by no sherbert 7460 he turned out the sherbert.
Speaker 2:Is that what happened? Now they have no sherbert anyways. I feel like we don't even need to read the story, because they just put the entire story as the title.
Speaker 1:Seriously, I actually think we could skip it All right let's get into it. So every now and then I buy a random frozen meal to keep on hand for lunch emergencies. I had one in the freezer for a month. My husband saw it a few weeks ago and asked if that was his, because he can't remember anything he buys or adds to the grocery list.
Speaker 2:And I said no that's mine.
Speaker 1:Fast forward to yesterday, I hear him nuking something in the kitchen. Then he loudly declares it's absolutely disgusting. T it down the sink. I really hope you have a carburetor. And starts whining about not having lunch. I hadn't eaten that frozen meal and I did not think I would need it this week. So I thought, well, let him have it, he'll have something to eat and I'll just grab another one next time I'm at the store. I offer him the meal I was saving. He asks which one. I say the white bean chicken chili. He goes that's what I just threw away. Cue my rage. I hear you, girl, I probably would have too. Wait, you took my lunch without asking and then threw it away when you didn't like it. He says you wouldn't have liked it. It was completely different from chili. I'm like yeah, I know, it's white bean chili chicken. It's not supposed to be like regular chili. That's why I bought it. His response well, it was disgusting I'm loving the sass with this.
Speaker 2:It's just taking it to a whole new level.
Speaker 1:Feels like a dramatization audiobook I said I can't do it now, you've made me aware of it.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I was doing my acting skills. I'm trying to get discovered here. My bad. I said you didn't even check what it was, Didn't remember it was mine and when you didn't like it you threw it away instead of asking me about it. He goes, but you offered it to me. I reply yeah, I offered it because I thought you had nothing else. But now that I know that you just grabbed my meal without asking and didn't even eat it and threw it out instead and didn't even ask me if I wanted it when you decided you weren't going to eat it, I'm a little pissed. Lisa's just laughing. I have to use my hands when I'm being. It's so good. I have to use my hands when I'm being.
Speaker 2:It's so good.
Speaker 1:He then got mad and started telling me I was setting him up, that no matter what he did, he was wrong and I was being unreasonable. He told me to pick a lane who's that I don't know. I tried to explain why I was mad and said imagine you heard me complaining about something I recently bought and I decided I didn't like it, so I just threw it away. Then you have this gift card that you've been saving for yourself and you say you know, I was saving this for myself, but since you already spent your money on something you didn't like, you can have my gift card to buy something better. So I go oh well, thanks, but I already used your gift card to buy the thing I didn't like and then threw it away. I saw it lying on the counter, so I just used it.
Speaker 1:My question is am I the asshole because I got mad at him after I discovered he ate my lunch and then threw it away, even though there was a brief moment where he appeared to have nothing to eat for lunch? So I offered him mine. There is an update, so I don't know if you want to vote. There's an update for this and it's longer than the start.
Speaker 2:I think it was to answer questions that came up okay, I was gonna say, if there's an update of more anger and things escalating, there's more issues in this marriage than just this guy eating your lunch let's do the update before we vote.
Speaker 1:Then okay, okay, update op here providing some basic answers. We have been together for roughly 20 years and we are in our late 40s, early 50s. He's okay grocery shopping, because also, I think that the question was why do you guys do your grocery shopping like that?
Speaker 2:yeah, so, but rams and I kind of do it's just, it's funny knowing that that's the age now because, like that's my parents age, right, and there's been so many times where like mom goes to open the fridge.
Speaker 2:Like I know that I'm close to your parents age, but the fact that you just said that made me cry so mom will open up the fridge and she'll be like I got myself a greek salad, I'm so excited for lunch, greek salad gone. And then dad took the greek salad for lunch and mom will be like did you take this Greek salad? And dad will be like yeah, you told me you got me a salad. And mom's like I got you a chicken bacon Caesar salad. I didn't get you the Greek salad, mine was the Greek salad. And dad was like but you, just you told me you got me a salad. So he just grabbed the first salad he saw, not thinking there was other salads and she's nope, that was my salad.
Speaker 1:But then, like you move on, the salad's gone, it's gone. If you want it, you get another one the next time you're out. Okay, just to be clear, you don't move on all the time, because rams and I go through that and literally it's come to the point where I'll make something and if there's two containers or whatever and I know which one's mine, I take a photo and I'll point to it in the photo and I'll go. That's yours there. And because he's actually taking a lunch and one time I had a meltdown because I was like, not full meltdown, I was looking forward to this I didn't have time to make myself something before work and he has cafeterias, I don't, and I work. In the middle of the night that boy came running back from his work on his lunch break to bring me that food. To shut me, the fuck up.
Speaker 2:There's definitely times with Brandon. It might be maybe it's the outsider thing that I'm like you move on, it's fine, you get a new one later. Because, like, when it's Brandon and I, I have a problem. I don't think it's a problem, but I will have chocolate and whatnot and I'll put it up in the cupboard and then that is my chocolate. You know what I mean. Like I, Brandon, got me Valentine's day jelly beans last year and they were still up in the cupboard from this past Valentine's day. So Brandon just was like I'm not buying you more because I already bought you these ones last year and you haven't bought them, eaten them. So, like, here's these ones again. And I'm like that's fine, we're broke and and you know, I liked them because I wanted them last year, so I ate them this year. But anyways, the point is I saved my candy and chocolate and everything for forever.
Speaker 2:And Brandon hits a point where he's like, okay, she's not eating this, I'm eating it. And then I'll go to get it and I'll be like where is this? And he'll be like I ate that. I'm like why? And he's like well, you weren't eating it and I'm like and yet here I am about to eat it, Not here. And I'm just like just because I'm not eating it on your timeline doesn't mean I'm not going to eat it. This mine don't touch it, so I get that.
Speaker 1:But Brandon does ask now before he eats my candy to prove what kind of reaction I've had in the past. Rams has in his notepad, in his phone that says only take food that Chris has said is specifically yours and I'm like no, why did no? I'm like it's not my reactions aren't that bad, is it? But the fact that he did run home that one day like I was so thankful. But also I just went. I have way too a severe reaction about food, so um he actually has.
Speaker 1:Now I buy those. You don't have them in Ontario, but they're the zitsi or whatever, um individual lasagnas that you can get for $15 at Costco. I wish we had them for 15 bucks like individual meals at that. Suck at wherever superstore, wherever, like five bucks now. So whatever, this is a way better deal yeah let's hear the update.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we have been together 20 years. Okay, grocery shopping is done like this I make a list of things I want, slash need for myself and for recipes I plan on making. He does the same and adds them to our communal list. I go to the store. I buy everything once a week, same day, every week, as that's how my schedule allows. Everything once a week, same day, every week, as that's how my schedule allows.
Speaker 1:He will usually go to the store separately on his own multiple times a week, at least three days, usually four because he wants one specific thing or forgets to add something to the list or ran out of something and buys things for himself. These could be snacks, frozen lunches or, once in a while, something we communally ran out of and need ASAP to cook dinner with, or something like that. He usually buys enough frozen meals or relies on leftovers for lunch. I do something similar, except most of the time I do rely on frozen things. I take time to prepare lunch each day sandwich, omelet, random snacks, leftovers. Every week when we do the grocery shopping, I plan what I'm having that week for lunches.
Speaker 1:She just going on and on about that kind of stuff. Um, so uh. I also tend to always buy something that I know he won't enjoy to deter him from eating it, because he will just eat whatever there is, even if I say, oh hey, I was saving that. I have to do the same with snacks. If I buy a bag of chips or a box of crackers, he will just plow through it in a day. My work around is there is either is to either not buy the snack food for myself or go to extremes to find things he will not eat, like the one flavor he hates. That's like if rams wants to get chips, I tell him you buy all dressed, I'll never touch them.
Speaker 2:I'm the same.
Speaker 1:I hate all dressed chips hate the smell like I don't even want him like kind of near me when he's eating them. Like those and ketchup chips and salt and vinegar like all dressed is the most ketchup chips. I might have a couple, same with dill. It's just like I do like the flavor and I would want them. But that's a great way for me to have portion control is to eat those chips.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a lot of these chips are like if they're at a party and that's the only chip that's there, I'll have a couple kind of thing. But like I really don't like all dressed, I'll eat ketchup, but ketchup chips and dill pickle dip, so good.
Speaker 1:So it's the vinegar. I don't like this happens a lot Like I buy a certain type of protein bar that I use during my workouts and he will eat them like they're candy bars and then when I go to grab one for my workout, empty box and if I ask him to please make sure he replaces them if he's going to eat them all, he gets very angry. No, not very angry, he just gets angry and says he should not have to ration food. I told him it was not rationing, it was simply making sure that if I buy something for a specific meal or a purpose for myself, that I expect to have it when I need it. This is an ongoing debate between us and I'm trying not to turn it, turn it into a hildedion.
Speaker 1:As as to history, he most likely has undiagnosed ADD. We're older, gen X. These things were not recognized as often as when we were growing up. He has all the classic signs. He is also academically brilliant and can often block everything out sounds, things in his visual line of sight when he is laser focused on something that he is cognitively engaging. So he likely forgot that. I said it was mine. However, he could have read the label clearly also, it has been in the freezer for a month so I assumed he knew it was my backup emergency lunch.
Speaker 1:Finally, when he does not like the taste of something. He does not like the taste of something whereas I would just deal uh, he has a rather over the top reaction I also. I don't like it when people try and diagnose people. It's like if you really think this and you're an adult, go and get tested, go. And that's so much easier said than done, says the person that didn't want to do therapy, but like don't, don't, just go. I think he has this and put that in a story. It's like you don't know if he does.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's just the way they are right now.
Speaker 1:So anyway, that's just me. What do you think?
Speaker 2:oh, I think. Well, yeah, he is the asshole in this situation because it's like she told you that was hers, like, even if you forgot about it.
Speaker 1:She's not the asshole, because this is about her. Am I the asshole for talking?
Speaker 2:yeah, okay yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree because, like, even if, like if it was an accident, I don't hear at all him being like, oh sorry, or oh, like, you know what I mean, he doesn't feel bad for it. It was just like, well, you wouldn't have liked it anyways. Like you don't know what she would have went like, especially if she's already trying to buy things that she knows you wouldn't she? She wants to eat them.
Speaker 2:I get that, though there are times that I've told, like we buy the meals and the water enhancers and Brandon, like he loves them and goes crazy on them and I'm like I don't care if you have these, but leave me some is the thing. Or if we're about to be all gone, let me know so I can buy more. Like that's the communication side of it for me. It's like I don't know, like it's easy for me to say because in my routine I do all the grocery shopping, right. So if I buying a food for me and I'm seeing that Brandon or Harper are starting to eat it, I'm just going to start buying more of that thing so that there's enough for all of us. But it sounds like like the protein bars, for example, instead of just buying another box where you could say these are yours, these are mine, it's. If you like these, it's up to you to get these. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like that's the vibe, yeah, that I'm getting like I always ask rams because I'm the one that grocery shops, like he'll sometimes come with me, but like he's the guy that carries them up for me and then I put them away.
Speaker 2:Like we have a system.
Speaker 1:We like it um, I would prefer to actually go grocery shopping by myself so that I don't have to. I have a really bad problem where I think that I'm inconveniencing everyone around me if I'm taking long to do something Like. I really hate inconveniencing people and I believe I'm inconveniencing people, whether they express it or not, so I just prefer to do things on my own.
Speaker 2:Brandon and I discovered last grocery trip that we cannot go grocery shopping together or we will get divorced.
Speaker 1:It was bad. I just always ask Rams things that he wants. But perfect example, though, of how I can't leave him alone, sometimes in a grocery store, because grocery store I went to, superstore I went to go renew my car insurance and my car insurance place is in the superstore and I said I pointed to because he needed x body wash and multivitamins.
Speaker 1:And I said, okay, you go over there, I'm gonna go to the car insurance, I'll call you when I'm done. I call him when I'm done. He's like oh, I just found the multivitamins, I can't find the ax. And I was like where? I'm like it's not an instant thing doing car insurance, where are you? And he's like well, I'm at the pharmacy. No, I just got here. I'm like stand there, don't move. I came over. I'm like where were you? Because the axe is right there where the pharmacy is. So it's like where were you? He's like well, I went over to the opposite store where the bread is. I'm like what, what you've been here. I just was like you are crazy.
Speaker 1:One of the things was is Rams got me a um bath and body work spray, um for Christmas, dropped it one day, so now the nozzle doesn't work anymore, so the thing became useless. So while we were there, I saw one of those like body mist things and I was like smells nice, let's grab that. So he's holding three things we grab dental floss as we're walking. What do you think he dropped. What do you?
Speaker 2:think he dropped the spray, since that's what we brought up.
Speaker 1:I put that on the shelf and just said let's go. I can't believe that. That's the one thing you dropped. I'm like I don't trust it now, but anyway, that's why you can't leave men in grocery stores, it's so true, not Brandon, and I, but just not the brightest one, oh no.
Speaker 2:So let's talk about how. When we were about to go into Costco and I turned to Brandon because the last few months mom and I have been going to the grocery store together and we have been doing our grocery trip and getting it and all that stuff, so but mom was busy, so Brandon was coming with me this time and I was like I'm we're going into Costco and I turned to him and I'm like do not add anything into this grocery cart, do not? Because the last time him and I went grocery shopping for a big haul like this, I had a Christmas tree end up in my grocery cart.
Speaker 2:So I was like do not add anything into this cart. Five minutes later we walk in, there's now a Snorlax in my cart, big ass, $50 Snorlax. And I'm like dear, like I really don't think we can afford to get this right now. And he's like okay. So he puts it back. And then five minutes later we're walking along and he's like dear, dear. Look what I just found, dear. I'm like oh, he's like a golden retriever in this goddamn Costco. So I'm like what he's like? I don't know how much that is. Put it at the bottom of the cart, don't let Harper see it. If it's in our budget, I will get it for her. And ended up being 15 bucks. So we did end up getting it, but we didn't want her to see it until we knew for sure.
Speaker 2:So now we're walking around even more the groceries and we get to the multivitamins and I'm like Brandon, stay in this aisle. You said multivitamins, but I needed to get Metamucil and I didn't know if it was down this aisle or that aisle. So I said stay in that aisle. I'm going to check this aisle and I will come back to you. Don't move. He's like okay. So I go down that aisle and I go down oh, fuck, bitch, you bet his ass down Because I went down that one and I'm like, oh, the menomule is in here, it'll be down the next one. And I turn and there's the cart coming around the corner, harper's smiling at me, brandon's like hey, I'm like what, what, what are you doing right now and he's just like I voice is getting so high that it's at your microphones actually not picking it up.
Speaker 2:I told you not to move. I told you to stay right there because now the Metamucil was in that one and now we're blocking this one. So we get over there, I get the Metamucil. I'm like okay, the last thing on our list right now is protein shakes. So of course they're just piled up in like three skids in the middle of the place and there's another couple on the vanilla side.
Speaker 2:So I come around on the chocolate side and I'm checking my list. I'm like okay, honey, I just need you to go around and get one of those because it's blocked. And I turn and he's not there and I like where where is he now? So I don't see him anywhere. So now I just go around myself to go get the vanilla ones right and I'm looking, I don't see him. So now I'm standing there with my arms up like the shrugging emoji guy like where did he go? And now I make eye contact with this other woman and she's like I have no idea where my husband went. And I'm like men, and she's like yeah. So then her husband shows up. He grabbed the vanilla shakes because they moved. It was the couple that was blocking them, so they moved out of the way and he grabbed them.
Speaker 2:And then my husband's coming around from them now holding the vanilla shakes and I'm like, where did you go? He's like I just went to go get the vanilla shakes and I'm like, why are you not communicating that? Like I'm trying, like what is her? So we get to the till that we find out that the character harper wanted that harper would have loved was 15 bucks at this point. So we're like, yep, show her, that's fine. We get to the car brandon's stressed because I'm stressed. So I get in the car and I'm just like we cannot do this again, like we cannot go grocery shopping together anymore or we will end in divorce. Because like I just I can't, I cannot, I have a system, this is my system, things are good, and then, oh so anyways, that was the story of why my husband and I will no longer go to Costco together, unless it's like a Saturday and it's like chill vibes. We're just going there to grab a couple things.
Speaker 1:We have time to look at other stuff, sure, but on my Friday night, bi-weekly grocery trip where I'm just there to get shit done, don't be adding stuff into my cart, yeah I do have to have rams there, though, to reel me in sometimes, but if I'm going with a specific list, it's why the costco it's so hard not to get like wow, look at the lighting.
Speaker 1:Like I live in a rental I don't need light fixtures, but they're gorgeous and sometimes they're on sale. Oh man, um, so this person is as well the woman. The op was voted, not the asshole, but people were very much like um, he can't remember anything he buys or adds to the grocery list. Uh, yeah, he can. It's just easier to expect you to do it and true wasteful, like I can't be wasteful for with food.
Speaker 1:So if I don't like something I'll be like oh, I don't like this. But then I know that if I say that out loud and then I asked rams to try it, he most like will have like that my view in his head. But sometimes he's liked it, you know but, I, just, I can't waste food. I have to go to Rams and be like do you want it?
Speaker 2:I think they did say, to go back to the story, like they did say, this is just our system, it worked for us, kind of thing.
Speaker 1:But it's like it's obvious the system is no longer working and I think you need to figure out a new system yeah, honestly, it's the same way that I did with Rams, like I would just buy his frozen dinners that he likes in bulk, but it kind of sounds like there's a bit more like a issue, maybe, with him. So again, I couples counseling. You know, maybe you guys need to work on communication yeah agreed I was gonna go into another story, but I I think we're good yeah, that was a really yeah, that was.
Speaker 1:We had a lot to say afterwards. So even if it does end up being a bit of a shorter episode, oh well, we have time constraints, right now?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's okay. I should probably go out for my child too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just saw the sun starting to come out and it was so bad. The weather here was just awful yesterday. It looked like it was hailing at one point.
Speaker 2:Oh damn, I would like to get a little vitamin d, as canadians don't get it much, so we're starting to come out of the dens. What is the weather that you have?
Speaker 1:right now. Oh, it looks really sunny right now what temperature? Oh yeah, temperature I'm so excited about vegas. I heard that it's supposed to be anywhere between 20 and 29 or something like that.
Speaker 2:Nice, when we're going.
Speaker 1:I'm like that's Canadian summer and it's perfect, because I've been in Vegas in the summer and it's awful yeah that'd be way too hot.
Speaker 2:Awful.
Speaker 1:They have fans with water misters blowing people on the street because it's so bad.
Speaker 2:That's nice, it's only five degrees right now. It says it's going to start raining around 4 pm. We got 17 right now, oh wow. So we have the sun, just not the heat. All our snow is like gone, oh yeah, yeah. So all right, this was fun. Thanks for coming guys and joining and all that stuff we'll see you next time.
Speaker 1:We're thinking that we might actually. There's some ideas that we might go live when we're recording these, so look out for that. If you're on socials, keep an eye out, get baroony that's all we got bye, have a good one yay.